It caught me off guard
Came rolling downhill, top speed
Today you are one.
*****
This birthday taunts me. It taunts me with bright decorations, delicious cake, first-time presents, and of course, your gorgeous smile. It wants to make me squeal with delight and bask in your newfound toddlerhood. And I do. Gratefully. But with heavy heart.
Today is the first step you take away from babyhood. You are becoming your own boy. And although I want you (need you) to have many, many more of these blessed birthdays, I also want to freeze time. I want to remember you exactly as you are today. My baby boy.
I want to remember the way it feels to hold your soft, round face in my hands. And I want to remember how your warm, heavy body feels as I sway and rock you to sleep. The way your hair swirls, ever so gently, at the back of your neck. The sweet little dimples in your chubby hands. The way you lean your tired head on the spot on my shoulder that always seemed like it was made for you.
I want to remember what an easy baby you are. How you always try to please. Try to make us laugh. How you run up and hug my legs every two minutes. How you bonk your head on anything and anyone that you like. How you practically live in a smile drawing everyone to you. How you wrap your tiny arms around my neck and give it a squeeze. I want to remember that. I want to remember how that feels.
Because it all goes so fast. I know that now. And I want to remember all the things that made me fall in love with you so quickly, and stay in love. And I know that just as I love the baby you, I will love the little boy you, the teenager you, the young man you, and the adult you. I know that. I am sure of it.
Still, I want to remember.
And I want you to always remember, just as I tell your brothers, no matter how big you get you will always be my baby.
I am so proud of you. So proud to be your mumma.
I love you, my baby boy.
Happy Birthday.
64 comments:
What a lovely day for a haiku! I know this heartache and pride. Just felt it 4 months ago.
He's beautiful. :-)
Aw, so super cute, your little birthday boy!
Happy birthday to the adorable birthday boy.
Wonderful story and beautiful pictures of your dear one-year old baby. :)
Oh my goodness. I want another one. Right now! My boy will be 2, 2! in May. I can't believe it time is flying by. Happy Birthday to your adorable little man.
Beautiful post, Kathryn. I hope he lives in a smile forever.
Happy Birthday, Benjamin!
Heidi
that's a lovely haiku!! and happy birthday to the young sir,and to his Mum!
And you will. You will remember deep in your body those feelings.
happy birthday. my 3rd turns one this week too... beautiful post!
Ah, I dealt with this last month. It is indeed a bittersweet day....he is a doll!
Happy Birthday to your beautiful boy!! He and Davey would be best of friends, I'm sure! xoxoox
Wow --- what a QT! I loved this entire post. Thanks for sharing this special event with all of us. Happy birthday to the littlest one.
Hugs and blessings,
He's a doll. What a lovely post - I know just what you mean....it just goes by too fast. Enjoy today, and enjoy all of the moments to come!!!
What a handsome little man - I hope he has a lovely first birthday.
Thanks for the pics... Happy birthday, Ben!!
happy birthday you gorgeous little boy!!
kathryn...you have some serious gorgeousness going on in your family!!
have a great day!
xoxoxoxo
Awww...one! That first year always flies for me! My baby turned 1 in October. He is definitely turning more into a toddler. He's not going to be my 'baby' for too much longer. =( Anyway- happy first birthday little man!
Oh Kathryn, you made me get a weepy. I loved this post. I am excited and dreading my baby growing up too and you just captured it all so well. Happy Birthday Benjamin!
He IS beautiful! Happy birthday little Benjamin! What a beautiful family Kathryn! Have a great weekend.
(sniff) Happy birthday, baby! He is such a handsome thing.
Happy Birthday to him! He is adorable.
Sniff... that brought tears to my eyes. How wonderful and heartbreaking motherhood can be!
Happy first birthday!!
aw what great photos! :)
Happy Birthday, little man!
This is so beautiful!! He's so beautiful! I love the photo montage.
Happy birthday to your boy.
Happy Birthday Little Guy! You are such a cutie pie! (ha, I'm a poet and didn't know it!)))
Did you have any freakish nightmares about clowns. Do you know how many emails I received telling me how much they hate clowns! I won't post another clown blog! I swear!!!!!
Aw man...you're gonna make me cry. Baby Lorelei will be one in a couple of months.
Beautiful letter ...I hope you print it and save it for him :)
Awwww..... happy birthday handsome!
I am so not ready for our fitrst birthday next week. Yikes! Where does the time go, Kathryn? Where?
Happy Birthday little guy! One year old... how does it go so fast. He is absolutely adorable! Have fun with your little guy.
Brittany
Oh those blue eyes~ WOWSERS!!
He is so precious. What a beautiful tribute to your son that he will be able to look back at in years to come. The pictures are priceless, he's so cute in those pumpkins and those newborn pictures are so sweet. You look amazing by the way~ 3rd child and you look like that after giving birth! :)
Happy Birthday!!!
What a beautiful post and pictures of you little man. Your photos in the hospital brought back memories of my own from that time.
What a momentous occasion. The first birthday always does seem to tug a bit more at the heartstrings.
Happy Birthday!
J turns 6 months on Sunday. I'm blown away by how fast time flies!
Tears. All that was missing was some soft music in the background. If you would have included that, I would have been finished.
Adorable. Beautiful. Thanks for reminding me once again to enjoy each and every moment!
K--I just noticed my mute button was on! Maybe it was meant to be, otherwise I would have been a blubbering mess. Just had to look through again . . . my heart is huge.
My heart! My heart! It's too much...I hope you'll show this to him one day.
Awww! I love birthdays. Hope he has a great one!
This was a beautiful Birthday message Kathryn to your beautiful, precious little boy. Happy Birthday to your sweet boy! Those eyes!! Great pictures. He is so sweet. Take care - Kellan
the Santa Hat!
I'm 3 months away. I can't even believe it.
Happy Birthday to your little guy!
My sweet angel was one last week so I could totally relate to your post. Beautifully written.
It's all SO sweet that I can hardly take it. Your words, and your son's sweet face. Happy Birthday to him!
hi Kathryn;
Beautiful pictures of your lovely kids..loved your pictures and posts.
Happy blogging
prema
Ahhh... beautiful haiku, beautiful boy! Thanks for the nice comment on my blog about the kids in the snow haiku ... at my other blog I posted pictures of the kids skiing feel free to come see:
http://blessedw4.blogspot.com/
Hi Kathryn,
Beautiful Post!
Happy Birthday to your cutie!
love
bindhiya
Doesn't he have the most gorgeous blue eyes?!! And, how dare he go & turn one on you!
he is so cute!!!
Happy Birthday little man!!
What a cutie! (I love the photo where he's sticking his tongue out.)
Happy Birthday Ben! I had no idea
when his Birthday was!? The big
BLUE eyes! He's going to be a
major charmer, just like your dad
from your previous post!
hey honey!!! we are NOT sick here!! just a constant runny nose...due to crappy weather and dry house!!
so...what time shall i expect you?
xoxo
He is adorable... Happy Birthday. It does go my so fast. My baby boy will be 15 yo in a few months. It seems like yesterday he was this little.
Hi Kathryn,
Thanks for stopping by at my place...
am going to link you...hope you don't mind..
love
bindhiya
Great haiku. I love the pictures! What a photogenic little one! I think the Halloween pix are my favorite. Get out the scrapbooking materials!
Perfect haiku! It's amazing how those birthdays sneak up so quickly... weren't those babies just born a little while ago? Beautiful pictures, too. Thank you so much for sharing them!
And thank you for stopping by my blog... coffee is like the elixir of the gods, isn't it? :)
Happy Birthday, such a bitter sweet milestone . He really is to cute for words
Darling Kathryn, be assured you will remember
hugs (and tearful eyes)
Sandi
What an eloquent tribute, Kathryn
Well, you made me all teary, thanks... He's SO beautiful. Happy Birthday to your baby boy, and I hope that the memories are always fresh in your mind...
What a wonderful, love filled tribute, to your son. happy birthday. i loved the powm as well - Jennifer
Love the Halloween costume!
Happy Bday little guy!
Hi Kathryn - I hope Ben had a wonderful birthday - a wonderful weekend. See you soon. Kellan
Awww.. I hope he had a wonderful first birthday. I love those big blue eyes!
David McMahaon recommended coming here -glad he did too! Hope you all enjoyed the birthday boy's day! Today, Feb 11th is my "baby's" birthday too and I did a post in honor of it. But she's long past the stage of your little guy as she has two little ones of her own now. Amazing how fast the years fly by and how the things we often want to tell those children often don't come forward during their really formative years. I'm trying to break that cycle now with her children, my two younger and so beautiful little grandchildren.
He is so beautiful! Those big blue eyes...
My little one is eight months old. I think I'm going to lose it on his first birthday.
What a gorgeous little boy. Picture #20 just melted my heart into a sloppy mess. Wow. Please tell me three is okay. I worry I'll go insane. Okay, going by your blog name, don't answer that.
You warned me and I still came and read this wonderful entry and now I am weepy. I also now want a little boy all my own. And I now want my Mr. Yummy to read your entry here so that he will too want a little boy.
And the pictures! How could you? As if the words weren't enough??? I love the pictures. You could have just posted them without the words and had the same effect. How absolutely beautiful he is. Awwww...
It's so heartbreaking watching them grow isn't it? Love the photos!
Okay now Im crying..see I think I have the S.A.D. thing and well I have one turning 18 in less than a month... I almost want to fall into a coma and not come out till its loong gone .I dont know how I will handle it. He is still my sweet little baby boy..It is too sad .Gotta go... Im bawling..Thanks Katherine .. ;)
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