Friday, August 29, 2008
I took him downstairs on the couch with me for a little while, gave him Tylenol, some water, and got him to calm down. When he became sleepy I put him back in his freshly cleaned bed and he actually went back to sleep. I was so proud of him.
A few hours later he woke up just as hot as he was before. I tried Ibuprofen this time and it worked for a while and then he was up again.
He has been miserable today. Just lying around like a hot, limp, little dishtowel. I can tell he is achy because he just can't get comfortable. He moves from my lap, to my chest, to the floor, to the couch, and back to my lap again, weepy and saggy. Poor little plum. The only word he has muttered all day is, "Mum. Muuuummm. Mum." over and over again.
This is not exactly how we pictured spending the last vacation days before school starts, but at least Todd was still able to get Joey and Tommy out to the sprinkler park for a few hours and then treated them to lunch. They came home all breathless and excited with tales of their good time. Ben had not been happy about staying home and I'm sure their enthusiasm didn't help. I felt so badly for him.
And I felt even worse when Todd got the older boys ready this evening to go to his dad's birthday dinner. As the boys grabbed their shoes and began putting them on Ben went and found his sandals and brought them to me. When I explained to him that he and I had to stay home he cried and cried. It is bad enough being sick but seeing your older brothers and daddy leave without you (for the second time) is just plain awful.
I am hoping that he feels better soon so that we can all go to the fair this weekend. Our most anticipated trip of the summer. Last year he was too small to join in on any rides or fun, but I was so looking forward to having him join in more this year. Now we may not even make it. We'll see how it goes.
For now I will just comfort and hold and snuggle him as much as he allows, and hope my pale, sweaty, little biscuit returns to normal soon.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Of course we have our problems too. Sometimes we are too much alike and in all the wrong places. We both have fierce tempers and are extremely stubborn. We both like to control situations and want things done our own way. We are both highly independent and need our space. All of these can cause trouble if we are both in the stubborn/controlling/temper tantrum mode at the same time.
Then there are times we couldn't be more different. He is an extrovert and I am an introvert impersonating an extrovert. He is a pessimist (he calls it being a realist) and I am an optimist. He would love to live in the country, and I need my city conveniences. He is constantly on the go, constantly moving, constantly fidgeting, and I could seriously hunker down in front of the TV for a whole day if left to my own devices. He wants to talk about a problem/fight/misunderstanding immediately and get it solved right now, and I want to ignore it like it never happened. The differences can get us into quite the pissing match every once in a while if we're not careful. Though I will say that we've learned to manage our way around our similarities and differences much better than when we were first married.
Luckily, we both have a sense of humor. The same quick witted, twisted, and sarcastic sense of humor at that. It has been our saving grace at times. Even when I really don't feel like laughing the man can crack me up. Sometimes his humor ticks me off even more (when I'm in the mood to be angry) and sometimes it works. Luckily it worked this time. I actually laughed out loud, which is saying something considering I was so annoyed to start with.
One morning Todd and I were on each other's case about something or other. Probably something trivial like me telling him how long to put the boys' oatmeal in the microwave, and him getting pissy and telling me to bugger off because he knows how to make oatmeal. We kept exchanging snarky quips back and forth long after the boys had eaten their oatmeal, the dishes were cleared, and the boys were off playing. Clearly we were having one of those days. It just kept going and going until utterly annoyed I'd said, "You are really pissing me off!"
"Whatever." Todd muttered under his breath.
"I really wish I could kick you in the balls right now." I quickly spouted.
And without missing a beat Todd said, "I wish you had balls so I could kick them!"
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Me: "I can't marry you because I'm your mommy, hon. And I'm already married to daddy. Someday you will find a smart, lovely, sweet, funny, beautiful girl to marry."
Joey: "I don't want to marry anyone else. I want to marry you!"
Tommy: "I want to marry you too, mom!"
Todd: "I'm married to mommy! You boys will find your own special girl to marry someday."
Joey and Tommy: "I don't want to! I want to marry mommy!"
Me: "Aww. You boys are so sweet to your mumma."
Joey: "Fine! Forget it! I don't wanna get married then."
Tommy: "Me either!"
Me: "Why not?"Joey: "I dunno."
Me: "Well, you don't have to worry about that for a long time."
Joey: "No. I don't want to! I want to live with you forever and ever."
Tommy: "Me too!"
Me: "You might change your mind when you get older sweetie."
Joey: "No! I don't want to get married! I want to stay here with you!"
Tommy: "Me too!"
Me: "Okay. You don't have to get married if you don't want to."
Joey: "Thanks, mumma."
Me: "Sure hon."
Joey: "I love you, mum."
Tommy: "I love you, mumma."
Me: "I love you too, you silly boys."
Monday, August 25, 2008
By the time we were driving home I'd had enough of my boys. All of them. Unfortunately I was trapped in the car with them for three hours. I swear I contemplated opening the car door and jumping out while we were going top speed on the highway. It was just never ending. Ugh.
It is times like these when I wonder if I should even be thinking of having a fourth child when I can barely muster the patience to handle the three I have. Add to that the fact that Todd basically told me he would agree to a fourth child mostly just to make me happy (even though he stresses that of course he would be thrilled to have another child) and I'm second guessing another child again. I know Todd is really enjoying the added freedoms that comes as the boys age. Throwing another child into the mix would "set us back" into the homebound mode for a little while again. And while it is nice of him to want to make me happy I can't go into planning a child with that as his reasoning.
And then there is the obvious. Do I want a fourth child simply to have a girl? Of course mothers of all boys hate to even bring this subject up. It is painful. It feels like a betrayal even thinking about wanting a girl. All the times I have been asked if we'll try for a girl, immediately becoming defensive of my wonderful boys, and denying any part of me that wishes for a girl so everyone knows how much I love my boys. It seems taboo to even bring it up. To even think about it.
Of course I love my boys. Of course I am grateful for each of them and would never want my children any other way than as they are. I am so blessed to have my three sweet, beautiful, smart, and loving boys. But would I also like to have a girl in this family? Well. If I'm honest the answer is "yes".
I think these feelings exploded when my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few years back. Suddenly having a daughter seemed imperative. I must continue this mother/daughter relationship I kept telling myself. It must be duplicated. It must live on. I know that having a daughter does not guarantee that bond just as I know that I will have a very close bond with each of my boys. But again, if I'm honest, it is just different. The mother/daughter bond.
But if this is the main reason that I want another child then I know that I should not be trying for another child. If I will not be equally happy with a boy as I would with a girl then it is not even fair to try.
And so I've been praying. I've been praying for acceptance of whatever God's will is for me and my family. Whether it be that I have 3 children, 4 children or 5 children. Whether they are all boys or not. And I know that even if I never have another child I have already been blessed beyond measure. Whatever God has planned for me is in my best interest. I know that. But I need to accept it as well.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek
As summer races to an end I am finding myself trying to cram as much summery fun in to a day/week/weekend as possible. Last weekend we went boating all day Saturday and Sunday. Every day this week has been filled with some kind of outdoor fun at a park or in the sprinkler. This weekend we will be going back up north to the in-laws' cabin and the week after that is the highly anticipated county fair. All of it is so fun and exciting that the boys are wiped out by the end of every day.
Yesterday was no exception. I decided to take the boys to one of our favorite spots on the beach to dig in the sand, throw some stones in the water, and soak in the sun. This spot is nearly always deserted and we love to pretend it is our own private beach. It is just a few short blocks from our house yet we don't go nearly as often as we should. Though after the fun we had yesterday I'm sure we will be spending much more time there in the future. Because the weather was just hovering around 74 degrees and Lake Michigan is known for being pretty chilly I decided not to put the kids in swim trunks. What I forgot to factor in was how oddly warm the lake water always gets in August and September. Add to that the big, lolling waves that were splashing up on the soft sand and I knew the boys would end up soaking wet.
They cautiously dipped their tootsies in. Tommy and Ben were amused by the water but a little taken aback by the strength of the waves. The loud continuous crash seemed to make their apprehension just strong enough to stick close to the shore.
Joey, on the other hand, couldn't resist. The last time we went in Lake Michigan the water was freezing so when Joey dipped his pigs in this time he was thrilled to find how warm the water was. After that there was no stopping him. The boy who last year screamed bloody murder if you tried to get him into the warm, calm inland lakes past his ankles was now plowing into the waves and body surfing. I was so proud.
We returned home from that glorious day at the beach tired, sandy, and hungry. The boys each had a jelly jar of their favorite stones to remind them of the good time they'd had and proudly showed their daddy when he came home from work. Oh, summer, how I'll miss you.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
1- We only have two and a half bedrooms in this house. I say a half because the "third" bedroom is only large enough for a crib/small bed, a dresser, and a chair. Not much else. If we have a fourth we may have to move sooner than later.
2- I don't want to move. I know we are already running out of room in this 1500 sq ft but I love my house. Although we always planned on this being our starter house it would be very difficult for me to move.
3- We could cram three boys into the 2nd bedroom for a while if we had to. Good Lord, help me. Bedtime would be nuts!
4- I think Todd is finally on board for four.
5- I do not like odd numbers. Four kids works so much better than three. With four no one will be left out. Everyone has a buddy.
6- I've always wanted a large family. Three just doesn't seem like a large family to me.
7- Joey has been praying (out loud) for a baby girl. "Dear God. I am asking for a baby girl in this family. If we have a baby girl I would take care of her and love her with all my heart. Amen." Ugh. My ovaries hurt just listening to him. I hope he is not disappointed when we have another boy. ;)
8- Can I really handle FOUR BOYS?
9- Four kids in six years. Ouch.
10- I love being pregnant.
11- Four kids in carseats/boosters. Yipes! That makes for a crowded minivan.
12- I'm already so blessed. Could I really ask for more? Isn't that just being greedy?
13- I would love to have another baby.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
1- I'm so ticked off at Todd! Why? For encouraging me to be a stripper, not letting me quit, bringing all of his friends to my strip club to watch me strip for his bachelor party, and then flirting with my nemesis stripper. Freaking guy. Sure, it was all just a dream I had last night but I'm still pretty mad about it. If he thinks he is getting a kiss goodbye when he leaves for work this morning he'd better think again!
2- I was watching the Olympics last night and discovered a woman who had held the previous record in a swimming event was called Misty Hyman. That's all I have to say about that.
3- I bought 4 gallons of milk on Monday morning and we are down to 1.
4- What is going to happen when these boys are teenagers? We are gonna go broke.
5- I am loving the 80's comeback. Look at those rolled jeans! So cute. I latched on to the trend twice this week already.
(photo courtesy of people.com)
6- I hope the weather is nice this weekend so we can go boating.
7- I think I would enjoy using our new boat much more if I didn't feel like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man in a swimsuit.
8- Two hundred posts! I missed it.
9- Perhaps if I didn't eat two Reese's Peanut Butter cups after going for my run I might actually loose some weight.
10- And maybe put a stop to my Bagelful obsession. That would help too. Thanks a lot!
11-I think I'll take the boys to the beach today. Oh wait. Crap. It's raining now.
12- I love this song.
13- I could really go for a Bagelful.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
What I would like y'all to do is go and check out these awesome posts.
The first one has been running through my mind for the past week. I just love it. It is such a wonderful reminder. Thank you, Lisa! Click on over there and check it out. Life With Our Little Ladies
This second one is great because I love a good rant. Especially when it is warranted. Not only that but Chrissy really "gets" it. I went from being really mad to having tears in my eyes. Smart lady. Love it. Tales From the Carpool Lane
The third one was written by Amy at The Brat Pack. She put the whole Favre/Packer debacle in layman's terms. It is entertaining and very funny, and I couldn't agree more. Well done!
The last one is from Nap Warden at The Chronicles of a SAHM because I am so into these Olympics. I am loving it. Well. And. Ahem. Just because, okay? Go check it out. :)
Thanks for making me laugh and for making me think, ladies!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Big Packer game tonight people. Big. Yes, I know it is just a preseason game but we Packer fans take our football seriously. Every year the Packers have a Family Night where you can buy tickets to come and watch a scrimmage for just a few bucks. The stadium is sold out every year. For a scrimmage! And this game? Well. I think we all know how important this game is. All eyes are on the Packers and on Aaron Rodgers.
You couldn't pay me enough to be Rodgers right now. The pressure must be insane. I just hope he does well, for his own sake. If anyone deserves success right now it is Rodgers. He has been level headed and gracious throughout this whole media circus and I hope it feeds his hunger for the game.
This morning when I told the boys that the first Packer game of the year is on tonight they both bolted up the stairs to their bedroom and dug through their draws to find their jerseys. They were so excited to be wearing them again. I think the excitement shows in the pick.
It has been a busy day today cleaning up the house, taking the boys to the lake, and then running to the grocery store. Of course at the store I got a whole bunch of "Look at ALL THOSE KIDS in their Packer shirts!" comments again. Even some, "You're crazy!" comments. And y'all know how much I love those. Like three kids is a huge family or something. Makes me want to have 5 or 6 more! HAHA! Then I could really freak people out.
At least the shopping trip ended well when I pulled into the checkout lane and the cashier and bagger were both telling me how well behaved my boys always are. So sweet, and funny, and polite. My heart just swelled in my chest. Of course I know these things but it is nice to hear it from other people once in a while too.
Now I just have to be careful of Big Head Syndrome. You know what that is, right? When you are feeling so proud about how perfect your kids are and what a fabulous mom you are, and then BAM! They go and do something completely nasty and awful. It always happens when I am feeling most smug. I must be careful to quickly deflate my head or something obnoxious will happen. It is the law of parenthood or something.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek
Remember how I was telling you I just had the carpets cleaned? I don't know where Ben got it but he found some lotion and began rubbing it all over his legs, arms, THE CARPET, his clothes. I just about crapped my pants. Why does this always happen after a major cleaning?
I swear I don't leave Ben unattended for long periods of time. I'm not taking showers while he has the rule of the roost. Heck I don't even go to the bathroom without dragging him along. It just seems that the one second I'm not looking he manages to cause complete mayhem.
There are so many stories of Ben pulling coffee grinds and potato peels out of the garbage that I won't even go in to detail. Suffice to say, the kid has become a handful.
Normally I am so freaked by the mess I obviously don't think about snapping a picture. But because this mess was somewhat contained I thought I would show you proof. And as I keep telling him, he is lucky he is so cute.
Lately it seems I can't take my eyes off of Ben for more than 30 seconds or something in the house will be destroyed. I used to brag about him being my laid back kid, but I don't really know if I can say that anymore. I've never had this much trouble with the other two boys destroying my house. But Ben? He is taking it to a whole new level.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
I awoke the next morning in a rush. The carpet cleaners were coming at 8:00 and I had to get all of the furniture out of the living room, myself and the boys dressed and fed, and all of us into the basement and out of the way. I rushed around the house in a whirlwind as the hubby tried to get ready for work. Why did I set this up for a Monday morning? Ugh.
The cleaners arrived and began their setup just as Todd was about to leave for work. I noticed Todd frantically searching for something and asked what he was looking for this time.
"My keys! Where the heck did I put my keys?" he said.
Oh good Lord. Here we go again. I thought the little hook I had installed in the kitchen would solve this dilemma, but it clearly did not. You see, you have to actually PUT the keys on the hook in order for it to work.
"Well, when did you last have them?" I asked him like I had a thousand times before.
"When we got back from the boat ride last night I opened the door for everyone. Did you take them after that?" he asked me.
"No. You opened the door and then went back outside to clean up the boat. Did you take them back out with you?" I asked him back.
"Um. I don't know." he admitted.
So the search began. Because all the furniture was moved out of the first floor it made the search all the more difficult. We looked on every surface. I looked in the door (he has been known to open the door and leave the keys in the door overnight), looked on my dresser, looked on his dresser, checked his pants pockets, checked the floor, looked in the fridge (yep, he can be a little scatter brained), checked the pantry, looked in the bathrooms, looked in the basement. The keys were no where to be found.
"Did you check the truck? Maybe you left them in the truck." I suggested.
"I already checked there." he said,
"Well, did you check the bumpers of the cars? Maybe you just set them there and forgot about them." I kept asking. Clearly he did not like this suggestion because there was no response.
After almost 20 minutes of searching Todd grabbed the spare key off my key chain and took off for work.
At lunch time he stopped home to ask me if I had found them (nope) and then continue the search. He had his truck key, his house key, his parent's house key, his parent's cabin key, the key to his office building, his dad's warehouse key, garage keys and a million other keys on that key chain. It needed to be found.
"Where is your phone? Do you have your phone?" I wanted to know.
"Um. No. I don't know where that is either." he said sheepishly.
"Well, they are probably together then. Try calling your phone." I suggested.
He called and no deal. Either it was on vibrate (it usually is) or it was too far away to hear. Now he was really starting to panic. That phone is his life line. It is one of those palm piloty type phones. You know, phone, computer, appointment book, whole LIFE type of things. He lives by that thing. I was shocked that he hadn't noticed it was gone until now.
As I began making the boys' lunches I heard Todd say, "No way! Oh no!" I heard the back door open and Todd run outside. I looked out the window and saw the phone in Todd's hand.
"Where was it?" I asked as I joined him outside.
"On top of the minivan! I just got a flash of me setting them up there yesterday. I had so much crap in my pockets I set it all up there when I went to clean out the boat. I came running outside to look and sure enough!" he said.
"But it was POURING last night! It's not gonna work anymore! And I drove to the grocery store today! And past the lake! How did it stay on top of the car! The keys aren't there. They must have fallen off." I said in one long breath.
"It works! The phone works! The leather case must have somehow protected it from the rain." he yelled.
Todd went inside to finish the boys' lunches as I jumped in the car and retraced my drive to the grocery store and down past the lake. I drove as slowly as I could, sweeping the street with my eyes. I kept jumping out of the car the minute I saw anything that looked like a possibility. Nothing.
"Alright, St. Anthony, the only way I will ever find these keys is with your help. This is gonna be like spotting a needle in a haystack. This might very well be impossible. Help a woman out, would ya?" I begged.
I stopped in the grocery store parking lot and asked the cart boy if anyone found a set of keys. He ran inside to check. Nothing. I continued on. I drove out of the parking lot back onto the busy street, my eyes becoming blurry now from looking so frantically while trying to watch where I was driving at the same time.
Every time there was a bumpy area or a sharp turn I paid particular attention. Surely the keys would not have stayed on through all of this. This is nuts! Still I kept searching. I drove past the lake (completely ignoring the beautiful water for the first time) looking and looking. I started up North Point hill. A massive hill that always scared me when I rode my bike down it as a kid. It is so steep that they keys had to have fallen off here. Still I got to the top of the hill and no keys.
I made the turn at the top of the hill and spotted something shiny in the middle of the road.
"No WAY!" I said slamming the car into park and jumping out.
It was Todd's keys! They must have slid to the back of the minivan up the hill and then lost it around the corner. I can't believe I found them! YES! I am awesome! Thank you, St. Anthony! So good!
I sped back to the house and showed Todd. We were both shocked they were found. AND, the electric door opener still worked. How is it possible to leave your phone and keys out in the pouring rain all night, drive them around town for about 8 miles, and still find them in working condition? Boy, did we luck out! This has got to be a first! And hopefully, a last!
My husband has many great qualities, but keeping track of his things is not one of them. That has become my job. At work he is amazingly organized. He has over a hundred clients and files and averages 50 phone calls a day, managing it all beautifully. But he comes home and his brain goes on vacation. I've learned to accept it.
The next day when he came home from work I said to him, "Uh, Honey? Do you remember where you put the spare key that you had taken off my key chain?"
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
This is what she has to say:
'The premise is simple. If you read blogs, then for the month of August, make the "pledge" to click through from your feed reader. No obligation to leave a hilarious comment or send a long stalkerish email (although both, within reason, are always lovely). Just click through to the blog (not on ads unless you are so led) and if you're feeling generous, click around to their older posts.
Just those extra page views can make a big difference for bloggers who could really use the help, or in my case, where page views don't matter so much, a big fat ego boost.'
Seeing as how I normally do this anyway I thought I would jump on the bandwagon for my fellow bloggers. I know, I really go out of my way, don't I? I'm so helpful like that.
I just want to add one little thing. CLICK ON THE ADS! DO IT, DAMMIT! You know you want to!!!! You're here anyway! They are RIGHT THERE! Right next to the post you are reading! They are just WAITING to be clicked on. Don't leave them out. Don't make them sad. Do you want to make them sad????
Ahem, I mean, if you do feel so inclined as to click on some of the ever so useful (SERIOUSLY! Have you seen some of the cool coupons and deals on these ads???) advertisements on my (or any other fabulous blogger's) sidebar I wouldn't be mad at ya.
Or if you don't want to that's fine too. I will say I am completely grateful that you even read my drivel. And not only do you read it but you comment too. I have about 100 visits every day (I am such an amateur compared to some of you) but out of those I get approximately 40 comments. That is incredible! Seriously! So (being completely genuine here) thank you all so much for all the support you have been giving me, even throughout a blogging recession. And keep those gorgeous comments coming!
Monday, August 4, 2008
You want to know the truth? I really don't care that much about dancing again. Really. I think what hit me most as I watched So You Think You Can Dance on Saturday night (over and over and over again) was the clarity of getting older. How back in the day being a dancer had always been a possibility. But now, at my age (can I really say that?), it isn't even in the realm of possible. I think that is what hit me. I'm old. Okay. Not really. But sometimes it surprises me how old I am already.
I never wanted to be a singer or dancer professionally. I think it is a tough life. But every once in a while I wonder how good I would have gotten if I had given myself the chance. In the end it doesn't really matter. Because if it didn't bring me back to exactly where I am today then I wouldn't want to do it anyway.
I have never been one of these women that Oprah has sobbing on her show lamenting how she lost herself, or that she didn't know who she was anymore. Those kind of statements always floor me. I don't understand how you can loose who you are simply because you are doing something different than you used to. I know exactly who I am. I know exactly what I like. What my interests are. What I'm good at. I spent 26 years finding all of that out. Taking time to do whatever I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. And that person is still there regardless of if I get to express those interests or not. Those interests are not dead, they are just on hold for a while.
I really do believe that there is a season for everything. This is the season of my family. I want to suck up as much of these moments with my young family as I can. Because these are the moments that matter. These are the moments that I want my life to be about. No matter how long I live, or what else I do, nothing will compare with raising my children.
And that is the truth.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Sure I never had the classical training. But maybe I was like Joshua. One of those freaks that just picks up a dance after only a few times introduction. Maybe if I had pushed myself more. Maybe if I had buckled down. I could have been on that stage.
And here I am. I'm 32 years old and thinking I should be a professional dancer. In a career that peaks long before the age I'd had my children. But still I'm thinking I'm one of them. Or at least I was one of them.
I'll sign myself up for classes! I'll put in the call tomorrow! Sure, I'll never make it a career. And that's fine! I really love my life! But I like dancing and it will get me back in shape. And won't I feel so much younger again? So much more the girl I was? I'll call tomorrow.
I walk my third drink to the kitchen sink and dump it out. I neatly stack the glass in the dishwasher, load it with soap, and turn it on. I turn off all the lights. Turn off the television, close the windows, lock the doors, and head upstairs.
And tomorrow, I forget to call the dance studio.
Perhaps I shouldn't write when I've had a few drinks.
Words To Live By
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson