Friday, February 13, 2009

Golden

I'm sure this is not what you imagined when you pictured your golden anniversary. Maybe you saw a big party with all of your closest friends and family. Maybe you thought of a wonderful, relaxing trip that you'd always dreamed of taking. Or maybe a romantic dinner for just the two of you.

Certainly you didn't imagine this. Your 50th wedding anniversary going by without so much of a card exchanged. You having to explain that the flowers he can't focus on were brought by his daughter he may not remember because it is your anniversary. He can not tell you he loves you on your anniversary, though maybe tomorrow he might be able to.

But he still lights up when you walk in the room. Though his mind might not always know who you are his heart certainly does. You can see it in his smile. You are still his world. And though he may not be able to form the words you want to hear we all know he is thinking them. He loves you best of all. And the words you have told me before still ring true, "No one could ever love me like he loves me." Yes, he still loves you like that.

I know that if he could Daddy would be smothering you with hugs and kisses. Dancing with you in the living room. Taking long walks with you through the woods. Packing up the car for another adventurous trip to anywhere. Buying you sentimental cards and boxes of chocolates. Singing you love songs. Making this day special for you the way he made everyday special.

And this anniversary is still special. It is not just fifty years that you put up with each other. It is fifty years you cherished each other. Respected each other. Stood by each other. Loved each other. Held each other up. Your marriage strengthened you and helped you through the death of a child, the passing of your parents, and the struggles of everyday life. Your marriage transcends Alzheimer's and cancer. And your marriage is more of a testiment to the sacrament of marriage than any other I've ever known. Your marriage has been appointed by God. Your marriage is an example to be followed. A marriage to strive for.

Though this may not be the anniversary you dreamed of this is an anniversary to be celebrated. A marriage to be celebrated. I am blessed just to have been a witness.

Happy 50th Anniversary, Mom and Dad.
I love you so much.

82 comments:

ewe are here said...

Wow. 50 years is amazing... definitely something to strive for.

A truly lovely post.

Hilary said...

Golden words, Kat. What a lovely gift to your parents. Somewhere, somehow, your Dad knows.

Happy 50th to them.

(You look so much like your Mom.)

Tonya said...

That is such a sweet post. I hope I can make it to 50!!!

Cecily R said...

I'm with Hilary. Somehow he knows.

Beautiful, beautiful post.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

They are so beautiful. What a touching post. I'm just in tears right now.

Krystyn said...

50 years is so wonderful!

Congrats to them

What a beautiful post. I hope you print it off and/or read it to them.

Honey Mommy said...

What a great tribute to your parents and their marriage!

Happy Anniversary and Happy Valentine's Day!

Emily said...

That's beautiful. Wow, 50 years. I pray my marriage will be as strong.

Michelle said...

Wow, still together after 50 years. That is amazing. :) Congratulations to your parents.

Bren said...

Beautiful heartfelt words, Kat!

His mind may not remember; but in his heart, he knows.

Kristin said...

Wow Kat! That was a fabulous post. I felt my heart aching while I read it. You could be a writer. What a special daughter you are. A true blessing to your parents:) Happy 50th Anniversary to them both.

Kristin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristin said...

My last comment I deleted, because it was a duplicate! Sorry!

Beth said...

Beautiful tribute, Kat.

Chris said...

I loved that.

Your beautiful post reminds me that when all else is stripped away, there is still love.

Indy said...

Just beautiful Kat. Happy Anniversary to your parents.

A Crafty Mom said...

Beautiful post, and gorgeous photo. How amazing - 50 years!

Karen Deborah said...

Such a beautiful post. Thank you for giving your Daddy words that he can't articulate for himself. Thank you for affirming the infirm, and placing high value on those who are not what they always have been. We need to keep this perspective in the future when the rules and regs of health care begin to be scrutinized by government. There is value and beauty in each human being and you have written a lovely portrait of enduring love, and I believe it is true.

Kelley said...

That was beautiful, and they are beautiful. What a blessing to have grown up in such a loving home. I hope I can give the same to my children. Thank you.

Sheila said...

Wow! Great tribte to your parents. It is a wonderful post.
This was my first visit. And it was a pleasure.

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

Congrats to your parents! They are truly living what they vowed to do- love each other unconditionally ever day in sickness and health. A few years ago I was a nurse practitioner who rounded on patients in nursing homes. I cannot tell you how many times I have witnessed what you described- patients who seemingly know nothing, but when you mention their husband or wife, their faces light up, they speak sweet words, remember wonderful moments. It is amazing what love transcends. Even medicine can't do that.

The Magic Onions said...

Wow, what a beautiful story... thank you for sharing their love and proving that true love does exist and can last forever.

CissaLynn said...

Awww! That was precious!!! Soooo touching!!!
Happy 50th to Kat's Mom & Dad!!!!

:))
Have a good weekend, girl!!!!

Jeni said...

I've read many posts that you have written about your Dad and his struggle with Altzheimer's, about your Mom -and her devotion to him too. But Honey, this one is the best piece I've read of yours, hands down. Not only is it a wonderful tribute to your Dad and Mom on the occasion of their anniversary, but it is also very telling as to the glue that true love is in keeping people together. And the title? Just superb! Golden may equal fifty years but golden is also something that shines brightly like the sun. And those are the images this post brings.

scrappysue said...

what a wonderful tribute. they look like amazing role models

Brittany said...

Great tribute! Happy Anniversary, to your parents!

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

simply beautiful

painted maypole said...

you are blessed to have that example, and are clearly following in their footsteps

Aly @ Lip Zip said...

Kat, your words are so heartfelt and simply beautiful. I'm really touched by your post.

imbeingheldhostage said...

There you are, Kat. These stories of your Mom and Dad are what endeared me to your blog (you). I have grown so fond of both of them because you give me the chance to look at them through your eyes.
Beautiful post. I miss your touch of music...

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Oh, Kat. This is beautiful and heartbreaking. As hard as I imagine this was to write, you did it so, so well. Thank you for sharing that with us, and Happy Anniversary to them.
xoxo

RiverPoet said...

What an amazingly sweet post, very touching. Just look at their wedding photo...all that hope for the future, all that potential. We just never know what life will hand us. It's the grace with which we handle it that defines us.

Peace and happy anniversary to your folks - D

Kathryn said...

tears are falling as I read this beautiful post!
Your parents wedding photo is priceless, aren't that gorgeous! Happy Anniversary, not to go find some tissues!

Splaneyo said...

You are a wonderful daughter - your parents are lucky to have you celebrating and supporting them.
Heather

Kelly said...

You have me in tears!!

Happy Anniversary to your parents!

Tammy said...

Happy Anniversary to your parents. That was a wonderful post. It sure does make you think and appreciate the love you have for someone.

Riahli said...

Oh goodness you got me blubbering here, so beautifully written.

Riahli said...

Oh goodness you got me blubbering here, so beautifully written.

Andrea said...

God bless them (and you)!

Tracey said...

Oh, Kat, this made me cry.

Happy Anniversary to your parents! May today be a good day for your father as your mother walks into the room...

Carol said...

Oh, Kat. This touches me to the very core. How proud your parents must be to have you for a daughter.....and how lucky you are to recognize what your mom (and dad) are going through. Many many blessings to you.

LaskiGal said...

What an absolutely lovely couple, with a beautiful history . . .

Happy Anniversary.

April said...

Aw crap, after an insanely emotional morning on my part, I read your totally beautiful, tender and sweet blog about your parents 50th! Cue waterworks. AGAIN.

You are such a great daughter and I really hope you share this post with your Mom. It is beautiful. And like other posters' have mentioned, in some way, your father "knows".

Maureen @ Wisconsin Mommy said...

Beautifully written, as always.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Happy anniversary--this was a lovely tribute. I hope you shared it with them.

CC said...

WOW!! What a great tribute to your parents. And I love their wedding picture too!

Elaine A. said...

They are such a beautiful couple. Congratulations your parents on their 50th anniversary!

I am sorry that it's not the ideal situation for them both but they are lucky to still have each other and their wonderful famiy surrounding them.

Mel said...

Kat...I don't possess the words to tell you how beautiful this is...thank you so much for writing it...and sharing it with your readers.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Kat - That was so beautiful. I wish we all could be lucky enough to have a marriage like that.

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

I love that your mother can look beyond the hard parts to remember how much your dad loves her. It really show how each word of for better or for worse, in sickness & in health rings true for her. And, you? Look so much like your dad. I'm glad he told you how special you were. Those miracles must make the dark times seem less troublesome.

Lisa said...

what a beautiful note. I pray your mom reads that, as it is bursting with love and adoration. The love your Mom is showing your Dad during these tough times is beyond amazing. I hope her day is full of happy memories....

Midwest Mom said...

That brought tears to my eyes. What comes through most when you talk about their love is your love.

I wish them a very Happy Anniversary.

- Julia

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

What a beautiful post! Happy 50th to your parents.

Jill said...

Hi Kat I came over from Shauna's blog. I must say I am tearing over here over this post. It is beautiful. I am sorry about your dad, it's got to be so hard. 50 years is a long time and how wonderful that it's on Valentines weekend. More to celebrate.

I love you blog! I signed your followers list. Feel free to come by and check me out and do the same. :)

adlibby said...

So bittersweet. I have a girlfriend in much the same situation as you. The stress on the caregivers is so great. God bless your mom & dad. I hope that their 50 years together have brought your mom many happy memories to cling to. Peace to all of you!

Mom24 said...

{{{hugs}}} Kat. Beautifully written. I'm so sorry for everything you've all lost.

Momisodes said...

So beautiful. They truly are a testament of a wonderful marriage. Certainly for you, and to so many of us who follow along here.

Wishing them a happy anniversary.

bernthis said...

my parents will be together 52 years in ten days and they are each other's lives. I cried reading this. I can't imagine one of my parents having to watch the other go through what your mom is going through right now. Please wish them both a happy anniversary from this total stranger.

Cyndi said...

What a beautiful couple! Such an example to live by! Happy Anniversary, Kat's mom and dad.

Beck said...

Oh, that picture of them makes me cry. This is so lovely and bittersweet....

maggie's mind said...

I've been catching up while reading on my phone where I couldn't easily comment, and this one made me cry. So beautifully written and so very sad. Your words have such power.

I'm also so glad to hear that you are cherishing every moment of your pregnancy and loved the Q&A recap of what's been going on in your world.

tweetey30 said...

Wow I have been out of the loop the last few days havent I. happy anniversary to your parents.. That is a long time to be together. My husband I have been together for 13years in June..

Karen MEG said...

What a lovely post, Kat. Happy anniversary to your parents... that photograph is just beautiful.

This made me cry; it's amazing to see that your parents love each other so much after so many years, but dealing with ageing and illness is so very, very difficult.

Love does transcend all that though...I'm with you on that one...

coastrat said...

What a wonderful tribute, Kat. Your deep love for your parents certainly does shine through. God Bless!

Hollie said...

wow, 50 years! that was such a sweet post. loved the pic at the end!


and that muffin tin is the only muffin tin that I own...it was given to me as a wedding gift! it's by Wilton, so you can probably find it at Target!

david mcmahon said...

You made our day with this post, Ket.

melissa said...

what a beautiful post! a wonderful tribute to what sounds like a beautiful marriage.
it's been a while since i've stopped by!! hi honey!! hope you are feeling better!!
xo

abritdifferent said...

I stopped my husband walking past and made him read this too. What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful couple. You write so beautifully from your heart, it was all I could do not to cry. I'm sue it was emotional writing it all out. Will you shae this with your mom?

Chaotic Joy said...

This was absolutely beautiful. What a gift you have been given to grow up with such a model for marriage. Happy Anniversary to your parents.

Nap Warden said...

What a great picture! Happy Anniversary!

Laura said...

A lovely post. Sending well wishes, and prayers and hugs.

Designher Momma said...

this post is an absolute work of art Kat! You have to make sure that your mom reads it. very, very, well written.

lime said...

and thank you for sharing this with us. so many of us lack this sort of example. it is a reassurance to see it in others. bless your parents and i hope that somehow the day held moments of joy for both of them.

ann said...

Bless you. Bless your loving heart for articulating what he can't, and for seeing the love on this side.

Wendy said...

That was so sweet; I know it's got to be hard for your mom. God bless all of y'all.

Cath said...

Beautiful golden words.
Making the tears prick. Over from authorblog - congrats on a well deserved POTD.

A perfect piece.

Cath said...

Oh - and Happy anniversary to your Mom and Dad!

Cassie said...

I was crying before I even got halfway through. Thank you for sharing some of their story with us.

Stephanie said...

Oh Kat, I have tears running down my face now. At work! That's so beautifully spoken. Happy Anniversary to your wonderful parents my friend...

RJTrue said...

Wow ... I love this. I love love. I know I've been away for quite some time but I'm glad to have come back now and to have read this.

Hope you've been more than well.

Maryeliz said...

Aww. What a beautiful post. I do love that photo. My thoughts and prayers are with your sweet mother and father and all your family.

kirsty815 said...

What a gorgeous couple! 50 years is something we should all strive for. Amazing!

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson