It is always a crap shoot to predict how the boys will act in church on any given Sunday. For the most part they are pretty good. An hour is a long time to expect a small child to behave so we try not to be too strict. As long as they are fairly quiet, not climbing on people, and not fighting with each other we consider that pretty good.
This day the boys were all being very well behaved. It was a pleasant surprise because I knew they were tired from getting to bed later than usual the night before. The people in the pews surrounding us nodded and smiled in approval of the boys' good behavior. I nodded my head and beamed back at them as my head swelled. Then, halfway through the mass Tommy began whining that he had to go potty.
"No you don't. You went potty right before we came to church." I reminded him.
"I have to go poop, ma!" Tommy whispered back.
"No you don't." I tested him.
"Yes I do!" Tommy insisted.
Seeing that he wasn't giving up as he usually does when he is faking a potty break I asked Todd to take him to the restroom. A few minutes later Todd and Tommy returned from the bathroom and during one of the most solemn parts of the mass Tommy announced in his NONchurch voice, "Mom! I had a honking huge trucker turd! You should have seen it!"
I blushed a few shades of red, patted Tommy's back as I told him to hush, and listened to the ripple of laughter that spread through the surrounding pews. Head swelling remedied.