Sunday, August 3, 2008

Reminiscing

We're back from our weekend up north. The clothes are neatly put away, the boys are in their beds, and the hubby has long since been asleep. And here I am in front of the t.v. watching my DVR of So You Think You Can Dance. I'm watching Joshua and Katee thinking, 'I could have done that.' The more I watch the more I'm involved. Mark and Courtney begin and my pulse quickens. I remember how it felt. Moving my body like that. I start my third Captain and Coke thinking about the dancer I was. Way back when.

Sure I never had the classical training. But maybe I was like Joshua. One of those freaks that just picks up a dance after only a few times introduction. Maybe if I had pushed myself more. Maybe if I had buckled down. I could have been on that stage.

And here I am. I'm 32 years old and thinking I should be a professional dancer. In a career that peaks long before the age I'd had my children. But still I'm thinking I'm one of them. Or at least I was one of them.

I'll sign myself up for classes! I'll put in the call tomorrow! Sure, I'll never make it a career. And that's fine! I really love my life! But I like dancing and it will get me back in shape. And won't I feel so much younger again? So much more the girl I was? I'll call tomorrow.

I walk my third drink to the kitchen sink and dump it out. I neatly stack the glass in the dishwasher, load it with soap, and turn it on. I turn off all the lights. Turn off the television, close the windows, lock the doors, and head upstairs.

And tomorrow, I forget to call the dance studio.

Perhaps I shouldn't write when I've had a few drinks.

33 comments:

david mcmahon said...

Trust me, Kathryn - a talent never dies or withers. Sometimes it just gets shelved for a while.

Do you know why? Because sometimes other events overtake that talent. What events? Life. Responsibility.

You pour yourself into your family life, as we all do ... and God bless you for it.

But sometimes we neglect to make time for the things that we are talented at.

You will find the time one day.

And your husband and your children will back you to the hilt.

Tiffany said...

Seize the moment Kathryn! This is why you wrote about this - you have friends to comment and tell you to go for it! Call the studio, NOW! You deserve to do this for yourself... This would be a great way to honor yourself and do something that would feed your soul, so go, pick up the phone and do it.

This may partially be the beverage talking, but I like to believe that our true, "unabashed" souls come out when we, shall I say, loosen up a bit... GO DO IT, NOW!

And know that you are worth it - worth doing this for yourself!

Mom24 said...

(((hugs))) It's hard to be a mom sometimes. I think there's a certain type of mom who gives way more than most people ever realize. I think, it's worth it. I hope so. I know it's a good feeling to look back on my kids and not have that particular regret (not giving more of myself). If you can figure out how to make it work, go for the lessons, they might be just the refreshment your life yearns for right now. If it's just going to make things too bonkers, don't forget forever, just for a little while. It is so trite, but it really does slip by so quickly.

Cassie said...

It's okay. I was just thinking the other day how I never should have quit dancing. I did ballet for ten years and then quit because I was "bored" and I didn't think it was "cool" because none of my friends were doing it anymore. *sigh* I may not have become a professional dancer either, but at least I would probably be in better shape!

But I definitely say if you want to do it--go sign up for some classes! I bet it would be so much fun!

Laura said...

You should take lessons again. There are tons of adult classes available out there. A few of my friends have returned to ballet, tap, modern and even started hip hop dance!

I too remember the day when I made it all look easy...a long, long time ago!

Dawn said...

Most dance classes seem to start in September...you still have time! ;)

Kelly said...

Reminiscing can be good and bad can't it?? I think you should definitely look into classes. It would keep you in shape like you said, give you some quality time for yourself, and let you find that passion for dance that you've missed out on for awhile! Go for it!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I have about 1,000,000 So You Think You Can Dance episodes on the DVR. I love the show, but summer is flying by!

Dance classes! What an interesting notion . . .

Julie Pippert said...

I love SYTYCD. it makes me remember. Less and less though my body thinks it can do that. Once I danced a lot. Not very well but I enjoyed it.

In my late 20s/early 30s I took an adult class, and I realized I liked the stretching and toning best of all. I really enjoyed it. Then I just like freeform so we goof around the house and I bike for aerobic. :)

Go, do. Enjoy. :)

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

Aw, come on! Live a little, make that call!

Kristen said...

I agree. MAKE THE CALL!!

Do something that is just for you. Your hubby got a boat to remember a little of who he was, you at the very least do the dancing lessons to hold on to who you were/are.

We are all behind you, cheering you on!!

Kellan said...

You should call - I'll bet you were a beautiful dancer!

Take care - Kellan

maggie's mind said...

I hope you take the classes just for fun and just because you want to. No harm in that at all, right?

scrap chair potato said...

Dance lessons? How fun! I would love to do that. I have never danced before, but when I watch SYTYCD it makes me feel like I could dance like that. Maybe you should TEACH people like me to dance. :)

QUASAR9 said...

So what is it going to be - Salsa classes?

Krystyn said...

You should totally do it! I bet it would be a lot of fun.

Karen Deborah said...

one boom box, a pile of favorite CD's and a smooth kitchen floor. Boogie down!

Robyn said...

I hope you sign up for something. I don't watch the show, but every now and then I get the urge to kick it like the white girl I am.

MamaGeek said...

I think you should - an outlet is a wonderful thing. But I know how you feel. Time (or lack thereof) is of the essence with kids.

Dude. Can you believe Favre's back? I'm gonna go run over to practice tomorrow - if I never blog again I was trampled.

Karen of Sillymonkeez said...

We all have at least one "what if" to nag at us for the rest of our lives. It's totally normal.

Karen of the MomDot Street Team
www.MomDot.com

krissy said...

You and I are going out dancing sometime and we will put those dancers to shame.

I have the ass for "Baby Got Back" so we will be cool as hell.

Glad you had a good weekend. Sorry for my absence....busy, busy!!!

What's your thoughts on Farve anyway?

EatPlayLove said...

You should have enrolled online, then you would have a harder time backing out. I say go for it!

imbeingheldhostage said...

When I whinge about my art that has been lost, I'm always reminded "To every thing there is a season" and my season now is children. I think those helpful people are missing something though. When we give up our dreams, we're teaching our children to give up on theirs. Dance, Kat. It's a new world, peaks aren't when they used to be anymore.


This Monday lecture brought to you by....

Roxy Wishum said...

If you take classes and then TEACH dance, wouldn't that make you a professional dancer? We look forward to the pictures and stories.

Beck said...

If I'm having a drink, my posts are always pretty interesting... so ARE you going to sign up for a dance class? It sounds like you'd REALLY enjoy it.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

I think you should totally make that call, girl!

Steph

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Make the call. Do it!!!

Maryeliz said...

I've read your next post, and I very much relate to the desire to be in the hear and now with the "season of your children." It's a season that's too fleeting to be missed.... But, then again, your hubby gets to have his boat to recapture some of his passions of old. Why shouldn't you get to take a dance lesson or two? Justify it this way: It's exercise! And you know the saying about not hiding your talents under a bushel basket... Who knows where a little dance could lead you and your family? Maybe your boys have the same talent lurking in them too? (I'm NOT saying become a stage mother. Am just saying that they might love dancing as much as you do.)

just jamie said...

I love what David said about talent.

And drink or not, good for you for remembering your strengths. As a fellow 32 year old, we've still got it!

Elaine A. said...

I feel the same way sometimes about American Idol, although I don't know if I could ever sing in front of MILLIONS of people!

My daddy always says it's never too late though, so go dance if you've gotta girl! ; )

Golightly said...

Make the call! Remember the friend that I mentioned you remind me of, she was a dancer and had shelved it too. After her 4th child and a move to the East Coast, she started dancing again and was soon leading a dance group at her church that performed quite a bit around the area. I was so proud of her for taking back her passion for dance AND using it for God!

I loved dancing, but I was too insecure about my bow legs. True story. I can't even wear knee-high boots without making a V!

PS THANK YOU for your kind words and nominating my post at authorblog. (You've made me tear up enough - pay back is fair play! Just kidding. well, not about the water-works.)

Candy said...

don't feel silly for writing this- I think it's awesome that you're so honest about it! I think EVERY mom goes through the "shoulda coulda woulda" frame of mind a LOT more than we realize.

LaskiGal said...

Last week I had the phone book out looking for a ballroom dancing center . . . and you probably can guess that I was inspired by SYTYCD.

I was right where you were. It hits me every so often.

The closest center is over an hour away. Will I sign up? I don't know.

But, I will do something . . .

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson