I am not a pretty picture.
I look something like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. My hands are so swollen that they look like baseball gloves. My feet and toes look like sausages. My cankles feel like they are going to break every time I stand up. As a matter of fact something is poking out of my right ankle. I may have fractured a bone. I can't be sure.
My back is killing me. My vagina feels like it is dragging on the floor. My stomach is stretched as far as it will go (I hope). My pelvis may be separating at this very moment. I have to pee every half hour. I can't sleep at night. I get so winded just going up the stairs. I began crocheting little lady's pink blanket yesterday and could only do it for a few minutes before my massive mitts started cramping up and stopped working.
And yet, I love being pregnant.
The other day my mom said, "It won't be long now!" And I actually got mad. I don't want this pregnancy to be over with yet. I love being pregnant. I want to savor every sweet second of this pregnancy, and yet I feel like I have been distracted for the entire 9 months. It has been a completely hectic and emotional 9 months and I feel slightly jipped.
I want more time. I want more time to soak in this feeling of being pregnant. I want to remember the way my baby rolls and stretches in my belly. I want to remember all the magical parts of being pregnant and forget about the minor inconveniences.
I want more time. A month just is not enough to soak up this wonderful blessing.
And yet, I look forward to holding that little bundle in my arms. Smelling that warm, sweet smell. Feeling the soft peach fuzz head against my cheek. Watching the rise and fall of the little lump that will lie peacefully snuggled on my chest. It is all very exciting and overwhelming. And a month just doesn't seem like enough time to properly daydream, plan, and anticipate it. But I fully intend to soak in as much as I possibly can so that years from now I can recall exactly how it felt.
(If you like reading birth stories feel free to take a look at my previous post.)