Thursday, December 11, 2008

Christmas Warped

Yes, yes. I know I don't do memes. But I was forced! I was muscled into it! She made me do it! And trust me, you do not want to mess with her. She is one tough cookie. Why do you think she calls herself Imbeingheldhostage? She is referring to ME! Okay, fine, maybe she is talking about being held hostage by her five children, but you get the idea. Plus, she lives In The Gutter! Don't mess with J!

So here ya go, J, you asked for it. This one is for you.

Does Santa wrap presents or set them under the tree? I don't know how lazy "Santa" is at your house but the "Santa" here wraps the gifts AND sets them under the tree. Oh yeah. You heard dat right!

Colored lights or white lights on the tree? WHAT???? Who even says something like that? That's not very politically correct.

When do you put your decorations up? When the last group of geese take vee-shaped flight to the sky. When I can see my breath in the car on the way to school in the morning. When I begin wearing socks to bed. Or, the first weekend in December. Which ever comes first.

What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Are you saying that you eat food OTHER than dessert for holiday dinner? That's weird.

Favorite Holiday memory as a child: It was Christmas Eve, and I was about 5 or 6 years old. My mom and dad were just finishing up reading Twas The Night Before Christmas to get me to sleep when all of a sudden I heard sleigh bells. I jumped up from my bed and ran to my bedroom window. When I looked outside I saw a big, golden sleigh filled with presents and 8 reindeer too! Just then I heard a thump downstairs and though my parents told me to slow down I sprinted down the stairs where I saw SANTA putting presents beneath our tree! He quickly turned to see me, smiled, and motioned for me to come to him. I cautiously walked over, my legs shaking with excitement. He told me that little girls are supposed to be in bed by now so that he could do his job. I apologized immediately, and he chuckled his bowl full of jelly laugh. He reached into his enormous sack and pulled out the most beautiful dolly I'd ever seen. I thanked Santa a thousand times and he sent me back to bed. I hugged that dolly tight all night long, and I still have her to this day.
Oh wait. Nope. That doesn't sound right. Yep. Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. That was a dream. Never happened. But it would have been pretty cool, right?

When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? You mean about him being Satan? I think I heard that from a lady handing out fliers in front of a strip club one night.

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Only if I can stay awake longer than everyone else.

How do you decorate your Christmas tree? With my toes. I told you I have very long toes. It's impressive, really. And the lovely scent of the Frasier Fir covers up the toe-jam stentch quite nicely.

Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it. Until I start to dread it.

Can you ice skate? They don't call me Brilliant Blades for nothing!

Do you remember your favorite gift? Nope.

What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Eating as much food as I can without throwing up.

What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? The biggest one.

What is your favorite tradition? Winning the food eating contest.

Which do you prefer, Giving or Receiving? Giving. The business.

What is your favorite Christmas Song? The Christmas Song

Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? It depends. Does my breath stink?

Ever recycled a Christmas present? Aren't we all supposed to be going green?


Lisa said...

you are a cheese. a completely crazy and very silly cheese!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Kat: You handled this very well. VERY funny, you are.

And? Forced? Muscled into a meme? Tough cookie?

Please don't tell this J person about Blog This Mom! I'm a little afraid of J. ;-)

Mom24 said...

You are awesome. Too funny! Great meme.

I hope you'll still be able to win the eating contest this year. ;-)

Wendy said...

Okay, your answers were a lot funnier than the ones I wrote on this meme. Have a good weekend Brilliant Blades!

Elaine A. said...

Loving your answers! Thanks for the laughs! : )

Riahli said...

Oh my that made me laugh! Super funny. Great answers.

I just read one were they answered all the questions very seriously, so it made yours all the funnier.

I have the same feelings about snow, love it until I start to dread it. We haven't had any around here yet, so I'm still looking forward to seeing some.

Riahli said...

Oh my that made me laugh! Super funny. Great answers.

I just read one were they answered all the questions very seriously, so it made yours all the funnier.

I have the same feelings about snow, love it until I start to dread it. We haven't had any around here yet, so I'm still looking forward to seeing some.

Brittany said...

oh man! I am cracking up over here. You were on the ball today, missy!

wright said...

You're cracking me up! Too funny!

AFF said...

I love your fear of the Grockle. hahahah She got you to do a meme!

Karen Deborah said...

funny and this is a cute meme

lime said...

bwahahahaha, love your crack about the lights.

CissaLynn said...

You are hilarious, girl!!! Thank you soooo much for the laugh!! It has been crazy busy here and it was nice to sit down and have a good laugh!!! :)
Have a good weekend! :)
P.S. Will you find out what you are having or will you wait??!! :)) I can't stand it, I just HAVE to know!!!! hee hee hee!!!

historygirlie said...

so very funny! It's gotten to the point where I needed a holiday giggle....thanks for that!

OHmommy said...

White lights, yes?

Kristin said...


Cyndi said...

You are so funny. My favorite dessert is whatever is on my plate. and the snow comment was priceless.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Buah ha ha! You handled the forced meme very well. You're such a pro!

tweetey30 said...

Loved your answers.. I might come back and steal this one tomorrow if I have time. I have to pack for next week going to my parents in MN..

Laura said...

You crack me up!!!!

kimmy said...

This was fun to read! Thanks for sharing!

Kimmy :-)

Stephanie said...

I am still in shock you did a meme. And I'm a bit more in shock that you can talk about desserts and toe jam in the same post! Haha!

Kathryn said...

I can't stop cracking up and I think we need pics of you decorating the tree with your toes!

Krystyn said...

Kat-I'm cracking up here!

I want to see you using your toes! And, then stuffing your face with desserts!

RiverPoet said...

Well, someone's in a good mood these days! Practically glowing I'd say.

Hilarious meme! Thanks for the laugh - D

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

You crack me up.

Musings of a Homeschooling Mom said...

Awesome answers! I needed those laughs today!

Kirst said...

I had a good chuckle at your answers to this Meme while stuck at work today. Might have to steal the meme. Cute!

imbeingheldhostage said...

I am SO glad you took this in the spirit of soberness and reverence. That's what I love most about you, how you can buckle down and and answer complex questions seriously.

You had me laughing out loud by answer number two you silly thing-- politically correct, that's hilarious.

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson