I'm grumpy. I've been like this for a while now. Too long. It is kind of a grumpy rut.
I'm feeling lonely. Strange how you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. All of these people all over me all the time (literally, climbing on me, sitting on me, hanging on me, squeezing under me on the couch) and I still feel lonely.
I have a headache. I thought I'd try this Skinny Girl Cosmo and it tasted like garbage and ended up giving me a massive headache for a couple of days. And I only had two small glasses. I know, I know. If it tasted like garbage why did I continue to drink it? Because I spent money on it and, dammit, I don't waste liquor.
Strange how you can till some soil, plant grass seed, cover it with dirt, water it, hug it, love it, sing to it and it will refuse to grow. Then you walk down the driveway and see grass growing out of areas you have previously done everything in your power to prevent it from growing like cracks in the cement and in the garden. Go figure.
I wish I could combine exercise with eating healthy. It seems I can only do one or the other. Never both at the same time.
Speaking of running, funny story. This morning I went for a run without Molly (Which makes me feel incredibly guilty but the last few runs she has gone on with me I've had to drag her. Literally. Try running for 4 miles while dragging a 50 lb dog behind you. Not fun. Or stress relieving. I don't know what is wrong with her lately. Maybe she is grumpy too.) and I was really looking forward to it since my last few runs have been torture (see parenthesis above). I was doing fairly well considering the 30 mph winds, rain, and 45 degrees until a freaking bug flew in my eye. It was a smaller gnat, but I could feel it. And it hurt. And I started trying to fish it out of my eye with my finger (while still running- because if I stop it will be twice as hard to start again) and ended up making it worse. The bug went in back of my eye and then my contact came out. Now I have a headache from running with one contact in my eye. So much for a stress relieving, rejuvenating run. Ah well.
The weather was lovely last week. I sat on my back patio reading my book with the kids' running and laughing as background music. Sometimes my life seems too good to be true. And sometimes it just seems too true.
Summer is almost here. School will be out in a few weeks. This is good news. However, this will not be a lazy, relaxing summer like I always strive for. The boys are all signed up for baseball this year and golf lessons too (a first on both sports). Grace felt left out and wanted to try dance class and gymnastics. Since I didn't want the boys to have to sit around and wait while she was in class I signed them up for gymnastics too. We'll see how long that lasts. Either way, looks like we'll be doing a ton of running from here to there this summer.
I have had the same awesome strappy black heels for the past 20 years or so and they finally broke. Beyond repair. It ticks me off. I've been looking at shoes for a while now because I knew they would soon need replacing and I've found nothing that comes even close to their awesomeness.
I wish I made money. Not like with a printing machine or anything. I wish I had a job that paid. It gets really old the way I keep feeling guilty when I need to buy myself a new pair of shoes or something. Even if I made just a small amount of money at least I would feel less like such a freaking leech.
In case I had any doubts, I was reminded why I should never pursue a career in television. This past weekend I volunteered at a fundraiser where there were two celebrities from Dancing With the Stars (Max Chmerkovskiy and Chelsea Hightower) and I never would have guessed either of them to be so thin. I mean, they were both very thin and I never thought that when I was watching them on tv. They were also better looking in real life too. Just a really good reminder for me to stay away from television. I don't need any help looking bigger or less attractive.
It has been raining for days now. It is raining right now. And cold. It's only 45 degrees. That makes me not so happy.
The fact that I'm so grumpy for no really good reason makes me really grumpy too. Could I be more spoiled or self involved? Cripes! Snap out of it! You'd think that with all these terrible things that keep happening in the world I would realize how fortunate I am and be grateful and happy for what I have every second of the day. Instead, I am just a grump. I've got issues.
I'm hopeful that writing about my grumpiness will help me get it all out. So far, not so much.
Sorry for taking a grump dump on all of you. I hope it's not contagious.