I feel like I'm hung over even though I didn't drink last night. I think I'm hung over from this past week. This week has been full of the typical back to school craziness that I loathe but also some extra lunacy thrown in there for good measure.
My three boys are now going to two different schools. The two older boys are still going to our much loved parochial school, but Ben will be going to a new preschool since the 4K program at the parochial school had to be moved to the afternoon and that would have been too hard for us. So, we were able to get Ben into the preschool program that Joey was in for 3K (there was no 3K at the parochial school that year) at the John Michael Kohler Arts Center. While I am sad that all three boys won't be at our beloved school together and I am thrilled that Ben is getting the chance to be in the amazing program they have at the museum.
Anyway, all this to say that we have had two separate orientations this week. Another school preview. School shopping. A meeting with a couple from our church for their marriage preparation course. A couple trips to the doctor (for paperwork, twice, and a Lego, twice). And I was doing this all with four kids attached to me and without Todd because he has been working from 5 in the morning until about 8 at night every night for the past two weeks preparing for a week-long trial on a case he has had for 7 years. Big stuff.
And one more thing. I must have slept wrong or something but I've had a horribly stiff, painful neck for the entire week. Every time I move or breath I have pain. I haven't been sleeping either. It has given me a massive headache. So, even though the above might not sound that bad, because I feel so crappy, my workload seemed immense.
But. But! It is coming to a close. Todd's very large trial is over (jury finally reached a verdict, in Todd's client's favor, at 7:30 last night). Most of the rush for school supplies is done. I am starting to feel a little better. I can move my neck and my headache is better. This morning we just have to pick up the bedroom furniture for Gracie's room that I found on craigslist and then we are heading up north. Of course we have to come back slightly early for a birthday party on Sunday, but I'm hoping a couple days is just what we need to unwind.
I feel like our whole summer has been kind of hectic. We never made it to the zoo. We didn't take any trips. We never went camping. The couple of trips we had up north were not very good trips. As this summer is winding down and school is starting up I am really feeling like this summer was a bit of a failure. I'm feeling guilty. And letdown. Sad.
Maybe it is because we had planned all kinds of fun stuff and then were never able to do it because Todd's work schedule was so crazy. He hasn't really had any time to take off of work and instead has been working late (and weekends) most nights. I tried to take the kids here and there for some fun, but nothing like what we had envisioned. We even thought we might make our first trip to Disney this summer, but it just didn't work.
I don't know, maybe I'm just sad to see another school year starting. Seeing my Tommy try out his first big kid desk in his new first grade classroom last night just made me all misty. Life is in warp speed. And I feel like I had better do something to stop it and grab it and really see it and enjoy it before it all whizzes right by me. Maybe that is where I feel I failed this summer. Did I really embrace the moments? I don't know.
We have one week left before school starts. I'm feeling pressure to make this week a good one. And pressure usually does not equal fun. I think I just need to relax. I need to remember what we did get to do this summer. We did a lot of swimming. We went to the farmer's market a number of times. We went to the lake. We watched fireworks. We went fishing. We discovered a stream at a beautiful park. We ate popsicles. We ran through sprinklers. We played in the rain. We built lots of blanket forts. We rode bikes, spent time with family and friends, took walks, and played a bunch too.
Maybe this summer wasn't so bad.
Maybe I just don't want it to end.