Friday, August 26, 2011

Feeling It

I feel like I'm hung over even though I didn't drink last night.  I think I'm hung over from this past week.  This week has been full of the typical back to school craziness that I loathe but also some extra lunacy thrown in there for good measure. 

My three boys are now going to two different schools.  The two older boys are still going to our much loved parochial school, but Ben will be going to a new preschool since the 4K program at the parochial school had to be moved to the afternoon and that would have been too hard for us.  So, we were able to get Ben into the preschool program that Joey was in for 3K (there was no 3K at the parochial school that year) at the John Michael Kohler Arts Center.  While I am sad that all three boys won't be at our beloved school together and I am thrilled that Ben is getting the chance to be in the amazing program they have at the museum.

Anyway, all this to say that we have had two separate orientations this week.  Another school preview.  School shopping.  A meeting with a couple from our church for their marriage preparation course.  A couple trips to the doctor (for paperwork, twice, and a Lego, twice).  And I was doing this all with four kids attached to me and without Todd because he has been working from 5 in the morning until about 8 at night every night for the past two weeks preparing for a week-long trial on a case he has had for 7 years.  Big stuff.

And one more thing.  I must have slept wrong or something but I've had a horribly stiff, painful neck for the entire week.  Every time I move or breath I have pain.  I haven't been sleeping either.   It has given me a massive headache.  So, even though the above might not sound that bad, because I feel so crappy, my workload seemed immense.

*sigh*

But.  But!  It is coming to a close.  Todd's very large trial is over (jury finally reached a verdict, in Todd's client's favor, at 7:30 last night).  Most of the rush for school supplies is done.  I am starting to feel a little better.  I can move my neck and my headache is better.  This morning we just have to pick up the bedroom furniture for Gracie's room that I found on craigslist and then we are heading up north.  Of course we have to come back slightly early for a birthday party on Sunday, but I'm hoping a couple days is just what we need to unwind. 

I feel like our whole summer has been kind of hectic.  We never made it to the zoo.  We didn't take any trips.  We never went camping.  The couple of trips we had up north were not very good trips.  As this summer is winding down and school is starting up I am really feeling like this summer was a bit of a failure.  I'm feeling guilty.  And letdown.  Sad.

Maybe it is because we had planned all kinds of fun stuff and then were never able to do it because Todd's work schedule was so crazy.  He hasn't really had any time to take off of work and instead has been working late (and weekends) most nights.  I tried to take the kids here and there for some fun, but nothing like what we had envisioned.  We even thought we might make our first trip to Disney this summer, but it just didn't work. 

I don't know, maybe I'm just sad to see another school year starting.  Seeing my Tommy try out his first big kid desk in his new first grade classroom last night just made me all misty.  Life is in warp speed.  And I feel like I had better do something to stop it and grab it and really see it and enjoy it before it all whizzes right by me.  Maybe that is where I feel I failed this summer.  Did I really embrace the moments?  I don't know. 

We have one week left before school starts.  I'm feeling pressure to make this week a good one.  And pressure usually does not equal fun.  I think I just need to relax.  I need to remember what we did get to do this summer.  We did a lot of swimming.  We went to the farmer's market a number of times.  We went to the lake.  We watched fireworks.  We went fishing.  We discovered a stream at a beautiful park.  We ate popsicles.  We ran through sprinklers.  We played in the rain.  We built lots of blanket forts. We rode bikes, spent time with family and friends, took walks, and played a bunch too.

Maybe this summer wasn't so bad. 

Maybe I just don't want it to end.   

13 comments:

Mom24 said...

I always feel like this is what real, grown-up life is, the stuff that no one can really explain, make you understand. The stuff people are talking about when they talk about how hard marriage, parenthood and life are.

You're surviving! Please don't feel like your summer was a failure. I know your kids and your family don't see it that way, it's your expectations that weren't met, and that stinks, but don't forget they had a great time. Your list certainly sounds like a lot of fun to me!

I'm glad for the things that are getting better. Congrats to Todd on the case. I hope good, easy, things come your way soon.

Jessa said...

I felt like our summer was a failure myself because we honestly did nothing. Then I remembered that my kids really only thrive in a group of kids and since we couldn't afford summer camp, it just wasn't going to be the summer I wanted them to have. Now that school is started I feel like we do more because there isn't a 'we can just do it tomorrow' feeling. Then again, we are moving back to WI in 3.5 months and now I have a lot of regret because we haven't seen anything here in NM or the surrounding states. I had huge plans to make it to the Grand Canyon. I'm so disappointed I won't be able to do that with my kids while they'd still think it was cool to hang out with mom. *sigh*

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I think you tried hard to make it a good summer. I bet your kids would say it was a good one! I'm tired just reading about how busy you've been. I hope things settle down & you get to feeling better. xo

Elaine A. said...

I have a bit of a hard time with school starting too because I want to continue to be lazy in the morning and do whatever. But routine is good too.

I understand what you mean about just not wanting it to end...

Glad your neck is feeling better!!

And yes, looks like you did have a pretty good Summer to me! :D

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

How about focusing on a fun Fall, instead? You can't change what already happened but you can affect what is to come...

Karen Deborah said...

Oh man can't a stiff neck get to ya? They really hurt!
Sounds like the summer was pretty good. I think the best days are the ones at home in the back yard spitting watermelon seeds at the skeeters.

Sounds like you miss your man. All work and no home will make everybody feel sad. I'm glad he's finished.

You know I remember when Ben was the baby. Time is flying by fast. But ain't life good?

April said...

Your summer sounded Waaaaaaaaay better than mine. We didn't really do ANYTHING fun, just a few parties. So I'm jealous of all the cool stuff you guys did! :-)

Tonya said...

I feel like I could of written this post myself. We didn't go anywhere or do anything fun and when I had planned on a fun outing we get lice and have to be cooped up for the duration. I wanted to go camping but I don't think that will happen either :( So sad but I know that the kids probably won't remember that!

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Frank Baron said...

Life with young ones about is always a blur. Don't beat yourself up over what wasn't accomplished. I'm quite certain your kids don't feel shortchanged by the summer you've had. You spent time with them. That's what counts.

Riahli said...

Time really does fly by and it seems I'm constantly wishing I'd got done all the things I planned to do as well. For the day, or the week, or the summer, or the year. Never seem to get it all in there. Sounds to me like you all did some great stuff though, and it doesn't really take a lot to build memories for the kids. I think they like less structured activities {free play} sometimes, and simplistic plans like playing at the park or going on a hike, a picnic, stuff like that. I hope so anyways because that's about all we did this summer! :)

Krystyn said...

I know it doesn't seem like it, but from your last post, it seems like you are starting to get to the other side (just keep Grace away from the Legos).

I'm dreading next year when Iz is at another school, so I'll be looking to you for encouragement.

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Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson