Sunday, March 28, 2010

Did I Say That?

Long story short, we took ourselves out of the running for the puppy. After having our whole family meet the puppy and finding out some unexpected things about him we really started to think hard. The hubby had many concerns and really seemed stressed out at the idea of getting a pup and adding more craziness to our craziness. His stress stressed me out. And not only that, but the whole time we were meeting with the pup the boys kept asking when they could go look at the turtles. Egad. It just didn't seem as perfect as I had imagined it.

When we left all we did was rack our brains to try and figure out if we should get this dog (the lady had already told us that we were her first choice). I really wanted the dog, but I wanted everyone to be excited about it. Not stressed. And the more we talked about it the more I saw I was being unreasonable.

Here is a short list of our negatives:

- Yes, we have a large yard but right now it doesn't even have any grass. It is a huge ball of mud. And I think it will be at least 4 months or so before we have a solid lawn. Not good for puppies.

- Technically we do not have a fenced in yard. There are two smaller sections that can not be done until the lawn is in (because the landscapers have to get their big equipment back there) so we could never just let the dog out in the backyard. That is not great.

- The boys were only mildly interested. And we came to the conclusion that they are probably still too young to form a real emotional attachment to a dog right now. Maybe in a couple of years.

- The dog had a real scary medical history. He was not healthy, but we don't know details. That made us nervous.

- He wasn't really potty trained all the way. ?? The lady said she thinks he is but he is always with about 10 other dogs (another negative to us) so she never knows who has the accident.

- The dog was adopted out last week and returned because he was resistant to crate training. Uh-oh.

- Coming into the new year the only thing I wanted out of 2010 was to live less chaotically. Last year was so crazy. We have been through SO MANY big events in the last 8 months that I just wanted calm. I think that it really would be nice to live less chaotically for a while. No puppy. When I think about it I'm surprised that the words "let's get a puppy" even came out of my mouth.

Still, I'm kinda sad about it. I really love the idea of having a dog. And he seemed like such a sweetie. Part of me feels like I missed out on a really special dog. It makes me think of one of my favorite sayings, "The right love at the wrong time is still the wrong love." I guess that is true for dogs too.

*sigh*

29 comments:

Not Your Aunt B said...

Even though we're in slightly different situations, I would love to have a dog right now, but...for all the same reasons (minus the fenced-in grassy yard) we can't. It's too stressful. Maybe one day in the future we'll both be posting about pups, but for now I am in that bittersweet hole with ya.

Linda said...

Ah, well, that is life. If there were health concerns, it would be better for someone else to adopt him. The time will come, maybe, that a dog will be a welcome member of the family.

We had pyrenees, but they were never house dogs. We haven't had a house dog since the kids left, and I ran over her. That was a STRESSFUL day! We now have feral cats that we feed, and once in awhile we get to pet them.

You have plenty of excitement in your life right now! You made the right decision.

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chrissy said...

I'm relieved for you, although I know it is sad to fall out of puppy love. I think you made a wise choice.

Kelly said...

In my experience doubt means don't. There's always your future puppy. You had me at the muddy no grass situation actually.

Riahli said...

Ummm...life is such an up and down isn't it and you just never know what's over the next hill or around the next bend. I really do think you made a wish choice and it seems you really thought it through which is so much better then jumping in and then regretting it. I would be a little sad too though.

Mom24 said...

I think you did the right thing. The idea of a rescue dog is admirable, but I would really hesitate with young children. We had to give up a dog because it bit Jacob when he was 2 and we later found out the group was not being completely honest about the fact that she had bitten a child. I would never get a dog with young children that I had not personally raised from a puppy. I know lots of people do, but for me, it's just too risky.

I'm so sorry though. I know you're disappointed. Hopefully another opportunity will work out further down the road when things are more "right".

Hilary said...

Sounds like you probably made the right decision to hold off - at least for this particular pup. I'm glad they were honest with you about things you needed to know before making a decision. No doubt he'll go to a good family and one day your own good family will feel more ready. That's when the PERFECT pup will be born.

Rima said...

I'm with Hilary - I think it sounds like you made the right decision. The dog with your family's name on him is still out there somewhere, and he'll be waiting when you are ready!

Tam said...

Girl you were more braver than me for even going to take your kids to meet a dog. One day your family will find a match that everyone is head over heals in love with! Probably when the kiddos are older!

HUGS!

Robyn said...

Better now than after you got the dog home.

Dawn said...

It sounds like it has been quite an emotional roller coaster for you. That must have been a tough decision. It sounds like you made a loving choice.

Elaine A. said...

It may seem a little heart breaking right now but it really sounds like you made the right decision. You'll know when it's right to add a doggie to your family! :)

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I like that saying. It fits! I'm sad for you but I firmly believe that if you wait for the right time, everything will fall into place.

Wendy said...

I think you made the right choice. There are ALWAYS dogs who need homes; when the kids are older and things are more settled I'm sure you can find the perfect dog for your family. Maybe you'll be ready for the chaos of a puppy in a year or whenever. :)

Rebecca Ramsey said...

You're very wise. It's hard to say no to puppy dog eyes, but you had a handful of good reasons. I bet there will be a sweet doggy in your future, at the perfect time. :)

ewe are here said...

You clearly made the right call. You did.


We decided long ago we are not a dog family. I grew up with cats and dogs, so I know absolutely that I don't want dogs no matter how much I like dogs. They're expensive (food, vet care, stuff). I just don't have the desire to walk them multiple times daily, no matter the weather, or clean up after them. Yick. Plus there's the 'what do we do with them when we go on vacation' issues... it would really be a problem, an expensive problem. So no dogs in our future. Not even a cat right now...

Kelly said...

From what you wrote it sounds like you made the right choice, even if it was a hard one. The right one will come along at the right time

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

The right family for that dog will come along. I often wonder about "perfect dogs" back in the adoption loop. D came home convinced of one we should get a few years ago. I kept asking "If this dog is sooooo great, then why at 18 months old did the breeder get it back?" And if your kids aren't on board 100%, it will be a lot of extra work. You're wise to take a step back and to really do your homework--it would've been way easier to forge ahead and end up over your head. Get the turtle.

imbeingheldhostage said...

I think you made a wise choice-- only because if it was the right choice/time/puppy whatever, you would've have had so much conflict going through your mind. Live 2010 less chaotically and then come back to this idea later.

tweetey30 said...

Sad but give yourself time to find the right dog for everyone.. Even if it means waiting the 5 years you had made the pact to do..

Cassie said...

Aw I so wanted you guys to get a dog! Maybe you guys will find a dog that is a better fit for you soon.

I left you a virtual Easter basket and some awards on my blog today! Please come check it out.

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

Phew! I think you made the right choice. My kids have been begging for a dog forever, but I can't even imagine taking that on right now. I told Abby that when she is 7 and Noah is 5 and they can help me take care of it (yeah, right), then we can get a dog. Abby is counting down - only 13 more months. :P

Karen Deborah said...

You did very well with this decision. Those were enough important negatives to make adding a dog to your family a very stressful adoption. What you might do is start researching breeds. You can take personality matching tests on line. Identifying your expectations before hand is a very good idea, like inside or outside? crate or no crate? who does poop patrol? who feeds? who washes muddy paws? who trains? Does everyone in the family want the dog? who will do grooming? The list is a lot longer to once you start asking those questions.
I think when Grace is bigger and you have the baby blues again would be a great time for a baby puppy. Having your yard done is a big factor too. You showed wisdom in this because puppies are cute and hard to resist. Better to be smart about it than emotional and then have to find the dog another home or the shelter.

Dianna said...

Gotta go with your gut. The perfect time will present itself...you'll be so happy you waited!

Stephanie said...

I think for right now, you made the right decision. And now you guys have something to look forward to. And as a dog owner who had a mud backyard when we moved in? It was VERY stressful. Wait for grass. And a fence. Your life will be much easier.

Krystyn said...

I'm sorry you had to make this decision, but I'm sure you made the right one right now.

Lisa said...

wasn't meant to be. and knowing you & life with FOUR kiddos, you will end up missing the dog, but will be happy that life isn't quite so chaotic :)

Jill said...

As someone who has a LARGE black ball of fur here - our 1st baby so to speak - the entire family really has to be invested in the decision. It's a lot of work - and not always fun. At all. At the beginning there were more than our fair share of fights over the dog.

Almost 9 years later I can't imagine life without her... but I really could have done w/out the first 2 years.

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson