The Big Day

Five years...

go by so quickly when you're having fun. And Tommy, you make life FUN!

Oh my dear boy. What a treasure you are. What joy you bring to everyone who knows you. You are thoughtful and sweet. Strong and determined. Kind hearted and gentle. Competitive and fun. Silly and dramatic. Handsome and snuggly.

Thank you for being my sweet, goldensbear. I am so proud of you. I love you, Tommy!

Happy 5th Birthday!

There He Goes!

Hosted by Cecily

Thanks to the unusually warm weather we've had this week we were able to get out of the house and get some fresh air. The boys were so thankful to finally be outside again. We still don't have any grass around our house, and since the mudhole of a backyard was off limits, the boys were designated to the front driveway. The driveway was a lot of fun, but after watching Joey have a blast speeding up and down the cul-de-sac Tommy decided that he was going to learn to ride his bike before his 5th birthday. And once he sets his mind to doing something it is as good as done.

Tommy talked his daddy into taking the training wheels off his bike and sawing part of his bicycle seat off so that he could finally touch the ground with his tippy toes while on his bike. After the bike was ready it was sheer determination that got him to his goal.

No matter how many times Tommy tumbled off that bike he would pick it up, get back on, and tell us, "I'm just gonna keep on trying! Just keep trying! Just keep trying!" He remained so positive and so focused. I was incredibly proud.

It really didn't take long and he was off on his own.

Way to go, Tommy! I am so proud of you!!!

One Year Ago Today

It was one year ago today.

It wasn't how I pictured it. I was nervous. I was nervous and excited. I held my breath as my eyes traced up your perfect spine to your beautiful little head. You were moving and jumping all over. You never sat still long enough for me to count your miniature fingers and toes. It looked like you were practicing your yoga moves and I tried to stifle my laughs as the sonographer moved her magic wand over my belly. She was quick to tell me that all your parts and pieces were working perfectly, and you looked as healthy as can be. I was flooded with relief and could finally exhale.

Then she told me what I thought I would never hear. "It's a girl!"

I always thought those words would cause a strong reaction on my part. I'd thought about hearing those words for so long that I was sure I would break down in tears if I ever actually heard them spoken. But I didn't. Part of me thought the tears would betray my undying, undeniable, unbelieveable love for my boys. And part of me didn't actually believe "It's a girl!"

I spent the next 6 months trying to make myself believe those words. Trust those words. Yet every time I bought a sweet pink outfit I kept the receipt. And everytime I would tell someone, "It's a girl", I always followed it up with, "But I'll believe it when I see it."

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This morning I held you on my lap. We were both drenched in the sunlight that was pouring in through the patio doors. I bounced you up and down on my knees and you laughed and threw yourself to me. Your sweaty, little hands grabbed at my face and you nuzzled your head into my neck, smothering me with kisses. Over and over again we repeated this scene. Both of us hungry for more hugs, more raspberries, more tickles, and more kisses.

When we finished our silly routine we snuggled on the couch, you nestled in the crook of my arm. You reached your arm up and grabbed my chin. I looked down at you and smiled and you smiled right back. Happy to know I was happy too.

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It has been a year since I first heard those magical words. A whole year of wanting to believe, learning to believe, and believing. "It's a girl."

Mommy And Me Mondays

Hosted by Krystyn

Ben: "I like you, mommy."

Me: "I like you too, Ben."

Ben: "I wanna buy mo' mommies."

Me: "You want to BUY more mommies? Why?"

Ben: "Cuz I like my mommy. I want mo' mommies."

Me: "Where would you buy more mommies from?"

Ben: "Da gwosee stowa."

Hmm. I am at the grocery store a lot. I guess that makes sense.

Feeling Funky

I'm in a funk. I feel all funked up. I'm just funky.

Just when I was really starting to get back into running again I went and injured my knee. It really bums me out. This is an injury I've had before and there is no telling when I'll get to run again. Bum-mer. *sigh*

I tried on swimsuits yesterday. It made me sick to my stomach. I took 6 or 7 suits in the dressing room with me and freaked out every time I put one on. I looked like I was made of out Pillsbury pizza dough. Eww. I walked out of the dressing room and saw an older woman sitting on a chair waiting for her daughters. Clearly she had heard my guffaws so I said to her, "Well, that was awful." She laughed so hard I thought she was going to choke. I guess every woman knows how bad the whole trying on swim suits thing is. Boo.

The thing that gets me is that I have given up all sweets and junk food since the beginning of Lent almost three weeks ago, AND I have been running 3-4 miles 4 times a week and I have only lost a few pounds. What the hell? That just doesn't make sense. Guess Todd will just have to wrap me in a big plastic tarp when we take the kids to the indoor water park for spring break.

The funny thing (funny=sucky, not funny=haha) is Todd is in the BEST shape of his life. He looks HOT. Hotter than he normally does. Which was pretty hot anyway. But now he is even HOTTER. It is insane. Freaking guy. So not only is he super smart, funny, compassionate, everybody loves him guy, he is SUPER HOT too. He just keeps getting better with age, and I just keep getting older. And doughier. AHHHHHH!!!!

Okay. I'll just have to let it go for now. I keep telling myself what I know I would say to someone else. You just had your 4th child! You just started working out a few weeks ago! You are still breastfeeding! It has only been 7 months! But ya know what? That doesn't necessarily make me feel any better. Grrr.

Hmm. What else is bothering me?

I haven't picked up my camera in a long time. I don't know what my problem is. I just haven't felt like doing much. I feel blah. Blaaaaaaahhhh.

I think I have a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I usually get it in January, so I guess late March isn't too bad. At least I know spring in coming soon. It is just that this last week has been dark and dreary and rainy and it makes me a bit depressed. I love all the snow melting but we still don't have grass anywhere around our house so it just looks like a big mudball. Yuck.

So. There ya have it. I am a big whiner. See why I haven't posted all week? Aren't you glad I posted today? Don't you feel all warm and cozy on the inside? No? Oh...

Sorry.

Mommy & Me Mondays

Hosted by Krystyn

When Krystyn started Mommy and Me Mondays I thought it was genius. Most of the time us mommies are the ones taking the pics, and we hardly ever actually get in the shot. Mommy and Me Mondays challenges you to get in front of the camera with your kiddos and share a cute story too. Genius, I tell you!

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Okay, so here is my story. You know that beautiful header pic I have up at the top of my blog? Go ahead, scroll up and take a look if you like. Yeah, that one. I can't seem to part with it. I love it. I don't want to take it down. But, as you can see, Grace is not in that picture. I feel very badly about that. I figure that come spring I can take another picture like it with all of my kiddos, but until I do I can not bear to part with this one. I have to leave it up there. So, because Grace is not in the header picture, I decided to take this picture

and save it as my profile pic. That way all of my kiddos are displayed prominently on my blog. Is that fair, or what? I think so. And this mama is all about fair. Whew! Problem solved. For now.

Playing Catch Up

I am so random today. I have a million and one thoughts floating in my head and no way to put them in order. In the past two weeks I've had so many blog posts written in my head but they never made it to my blog. Instead I filled up the screen with my kiddos birthday posts and utter cuteness. So is the life of a mama, I guess. No matter what is going on in our own lives it seems to take a backseat to our children. And that is okay.

Unfortunately, I don't know when all of my brilliant posts will make it to my blog. I am having major computer problems. Stinking computer. Have I mentioned how much I loathe this freaking ancient computer? Well, I do. Especially now since I have so much to share and very few opportunities to do so.

First off, I wanted to tell you all that I finally got fed up with my sloth-like attitude, and my binge eating, and decided to take charge. I began running again and have been shocked with how quickly I bounced back into my running routine. The eating part is a bit more of a challenge for me, but I have a little bit of help with it being Lent right now. I have given up all sweets (yes, ALL sweets) and junk food. Completely crazy, I know. But I convinced myself that eating an entire box of mini cream puffs a couple times a week is NOT OKAY. Apparently it doesn't help get off extra baby weight. Bummer.

I've only lost a few pounds so far, but I'm hopeful the rest will come off when Grace weans herself from breastfeeding. I never loose all my weight until the breastfeeding is done. Most people tell you that breastfeeding helps you loose the post baby weight but I've found that I always hang on to at least 10 pounds until weaning. I'm okay with that. But not this extra 20 I have right now. Hopefully I can get down to a more comfortable weight soon.

I also wanted to let you know that my house is covered in snot. Good to know, right? All my kiddos have been sick for the past two and a half weeks. It has been seriously crazy. Horribly running/stuffy noses and an awful barking cough. Poor Gracie still has it. It is so hard for her to eat. I just feel so badly. And she is such a trooper. We had her 6 month check up and I was happy to hear that even though she hasn't been eating as well as she normally does she is still growing like a weed. She is in the 90th percentile for height, 60th percentile for weight, and 25th percentile for her head. Tall girl with an itty bitty head. Ha! Anyway, the kiddos have been super troopers dealing with their colds, but I am ready for this nasty cold/flu season to be over with. It is so hard to be cooped up in the house with sick babies for so long. Ack!

Which bring me to my last bit I wanted to share with you. As I said, I had been feeling kinda crazy with all the sick kids stuck in the house for the past few weeks. It has been draining and aggravating. The boys have been wild despite their colds and I just didn't feel like I had it in me to handle their craziness. I was moody and snippy and so, so tired. Basically, I was feeling like a pretty rotten mom.

It must have been kismet because I was reading Catherine Newman's blog and in her post she asked her readers what was the best parenting advice they ever received. I read through the 110 plus comments and MAN! Some of the advice just clicked with me. They really made me think. One of the readers, Sara , said that the best advice came from her father regarding her daughter when he would say, "Remember, she won't pass this way again." That struck me to the core. How true it is. My kids will never be this age again. I will never have this day back. Another reader, ELN5, wrote about a woman who told her, "Oh, when you have young children the days can be so long, but the years are so short". So, so true. I could keep quoting comment after comment, but really, you should just go over there and check it out for yourself.

I am telling you, it completely changed my week around. I almost feel like saying it has changed me as a parent. I have not raised my voice ONCE this week. I feel like a new person. Every time I feel frustrated, or annoyed, or tired, or angry, or bothered, I hear, "Remember, he won't pass this way again." And it is like magic. It immediately snaps me out of my funk and helps me focus. And I am so grateful.

So, my dear readers, now I will ask you. I want all the great advice you've got. You'd think that with four children I'd have this stuff figured out already, but I'll take whatever help I can get. So tell me, what is the best parenting advice you've ever received?

(This post has taken me FOREVER to write because my computer keeps shutting down on me. I will try my best to get around to your blogs, but please be patient with me. Thanks!)