Monday, November 14, 2011

Jumbled

My head is crowded.  To much floating around in here to actually string together coherent sentences. 

So many of the thoughts are frivolous. 

What should I make for dinner? 
Did the boys dress warm enough today or too warm?
Dad.
How big of a turkey should I get?
I should probably get it soon.
Should I make the cranberries again or just stick with the applesauce?
Should I do the 10K the morning of Thanksgiving like I did last year, or is that just too rushed?
Dad.
How am I going to get the boys to their Boy Scout Boat Regatta on Monday and then get to my choir practice?
Who is gonna watch the kiddos?
Can I skip choir practice even though we have a concert coming up?
Should Todd really drive three hours back home to take the boys to the boat regatta and then another three hours back up to deer camp like he wants to, or is that just craziness?
WHY would they even schedule a boat regatta for Boy Scouts during DEER SEASON in the first place?  This is Wisconsin, after all.
Don't forget to wish Jeff a happy birthday.  I bet he is missing dad today.
Dad.
When am I going to have time to make all the food for deer camp?
Did I sign the kids up for swim classes yet?  I can't remember.  I think I did.
Don't forget to tell Todd what the pest guy said about the garage.
Dad.
Why am I sweating again?  It's not my thyroid.  What is my problem lately?   
What snack should I make for the boy scout meeting we are hosting tomorrow?
Man, I dispise boy scouts. 
Dad. 
Don't forget to sign up to bring a snack for Ben's class. It's our turn. 
I'm so tired.
Am I supposed to be somewhere right now?  I feel like I"m missing something.
Dad would be 80 today.



After that last thought there isn't much else.  I've been thinking about my dad so much today.  He is taking up most of my thoughts. 

Today is his 80th birthday.  I wish he were still here.  I wish I could at least still feel him here.  I don't.  I haven't.  It is strange for him to just be gone.  I thought for sure he would visit, somehow.  Sounds silly, I know, but it still surprises me. 

I miss him. 
Happy 80th Birthday, Daddy!  I hope there is lots of carrot cake in heaven! 

Miss you and love you very much.

17 comments:

Kat said...

Oh my gosh. I just posted this at 11:14. If that isn't a sign...

Kat said...

And the comment too??? How is that possible?

Tonya said...

thinking of you today. I noticed the 11:14 thing too.

Kat said...

Tonya- The thing is today is my brother's birthday too. After my dad died my brother kept seeing 11-14 everywhere he looked. He kept telling me it was dad's sign. So weird how on a post where I am talking about wanting to feel him near I actually hit publish at 11:14 without knowing it. Crazy.

Burgh Baby said...

That's just him saying "hi" back. :-)

Mom24 said...

I'm so sorry Kat. I think of you so much. I think you've made me better at consciously making time for my dad. Thank you.

Hang in there.

Rima said...

My heart goes out to you today, Kat. And I hope that your Dad can visit you one day soon, in a dream. I keep wishing my grandmother would do the same!

Rima said...

Okay, I just read all the other comments and the 11:14 is definitely a sign. DEFINITELY!

Elaine A. said...

I love that your sweet Dad is intermixed with all of life's everyday thoughts. I'm so sorry you're missing him on his birthday.

And that is so WILD about 11:14!!

Hope you had a good day my friend. xo

Hilary said...

Hugs to you, Kat. I do believe in signs. I'm sure your Dad is smiling.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Which is why I said no to scouting until T was old enough for Webelos. Ugh, the time commitment!
You are so busy.
Keep talking about your dad--keep his memory alive for your kids!

Krystyn said...

Here's hoping for the best carrot cake with cream cheese icing heaven has to offer! And, hopefully, you guys had some too in his honor.

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

Awwww...hugs! I like the carrot cake idea too. Maybe you and the kids could make one together. :)

Karen Deborah said...

awh Kat some days are just so hard.
big hug

Karen Deborah said...

awh Kat some days are just so hard.
big hug

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Sorry, Kat. I hope the season is full of happy memories for you...

lime said...

doesn't sound silly at all. hugs...even though i am late.

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson