Thursday, January 17, 2013

A Happy Wife

It took me long enough.  A seriously long time.  I didn't want to fall in love with him.  I didn't even want to like him.  But I just couldn't help myself.  

Since I was a little girl, maybe 7th grade, I had been praying for a good husband.  My dad always told me that he had prayed for a good wife and he was sure that God sent my mom to him.  I hung on to that and decided it was a pretty good idea.  I prayed and prayed that God would find a good man for me to marry someday.  And He did.  

That is how I found Todd.  He was sent to me.  God knew what kind of man I needed much better than I  did.  Todd was completely different than anyone else I had ever dated before.  My ex boyfriends were all nice guys and everything, but just not the type of man that I needed.  God knew better.

When I was younger I had one vision of my future husband and I. It wasn't of us on our wedding day.  It wasn't taking extravagant trips or going out to fancy dinners.  The image in my head was always the same.  I envisioned my future husband and I sitting in church together with our children sitting between us.  To me, that was marriage.  

As I became a young adult I let go of that vision a little bit.  I dated guys that were good people but none that shared my same faith.  I told myself that I didn't need that vision. I could go to church by myself.  I was willing to settle for less, apparently. But God wasn't.  

Todd came into my life at a time when I was done with men. I didn't want to be with anyone, much less  a cocky, suave, attorney from New York. Pu-lease!

But, the more I reluctantly got to know him the more I realized how he was made for me.  It was almost like he was hand picked just for me.  Slowly, slowly God revealed Todd to me and reminded me of the things I had wished for in a good man.  Little things that I thought were old fashioned and had died off generations before were innate to Todd.  Things like, opening doors for me, holding hands in public, being protective but not possessive, romance, singing together, being a gentleman, going for long walks in the woods, going to the theater, compassion and consideration, and treating me like I was precious to him.   And as the years have gone by I know in my heart he really was hand picked for me.  God answered years of my prayers and sent me a good husband.   And now when I am sitting at church I look over at Todd, our children sitting (climbing, crawling, talking, whining) between us, and I get such a lump in my throat thinking about how lucky I am.

Shortly after Todd and I started dating I gave him a long list that I had written of all the things I loved about him.  It has been a long time since I've done that and I think I'm overdue.

Reasons to love Todd:

- He really tries.  In all he does.  He tries to be a good father, a good husband, a good son and friend, a good man.

- He has been to every single play, concert, parent teacher conference, doctor's appointment, and prenatal doctor's appointment for every one of our kids.

- He makes me laugh even when I don't want to.  The other day I was so GRUMPY and he said, "That's it!  I'm pulling out the big guns!" and proceeded to do this crazy-awful, weird made-up tap dance type dancing that he knows makes him look absolutely ridiculous but would make me laugh.  And it did.  Very much.

- He holds our marriage in very high esteem.

- He is loyal.

- He often says "love is a verb".  And he believes and lives it.

- He is one of the smartest people I know.

- He is an emotional man.  He is filled with compassion and empathy for others.

- Because he has a job which requires him to read massive amounts of documents all day long Todd does not enjoy reading in his spare time.  However, he still read Breaking Dawn and The Hunger Games so that when he went to the movies with me I wouldn't have to explain everything.  That's love, baby.

- He is a hunter, an outdoorsmen, and a talented athlete, and yet he also loves singing and going to the theater.  That is not easy to find.

- He lives by the saying, "Happy wife, happy life."  I told you he is smart.

- He is the go-to guy.  Everyone who knows him calls him for advice.  And not just law related.  Life related.  He is a wise man and gives great advice.  And he always takes the time to help people.

- When I am angry he gives me time to cool down before he forces me to talk about it.  This does not come naturally to him as he wants to talk out any problems and fix them immediately.  However, he learned early in our marriage that I don't work that way and he gives me the space I need.

- He is very complimentary.  He lets me know that he appreciates me and loves me every chance he gets.

- He has a very quick, sarcastic humor and he's not afraid to use it.

- He always has a cup of coffee waiting for me when I get up in the morning.

- He is comfortable in any situation.  Something I very much admire.

- He has always been very popular but has never, ever used his popularity to make others feel small.  Just the opposite, actually.  He has always been the guy to befriend the picked-on kid and stand up for him.  Just like my dad.  Actually, it is freakish how similar he is to my dad.

- He is supportive. He wants me to be happy.

- He is a softy.

- He tries very hard to have a one on one relationship with each of our kids.  He does not expect them to like what he likes or be like him.  He wants to get to know who they are and what they like and always wants to be very close with them.

- He makes great pancakes and can marinate and grill the most perfect steak you will ever eat.

- While he is perfect for me he is definitely not a perfect person.  He has flaws.  Thank God!  I don't think I could live with a perfect person.  He can be a bit of a shyster, and I like that.  Keeps me on my toes.

- He doesn't hold grudges.

- He is an amazing son and son-in-law.  I really don't think a parent could ask for a better son and my parents will forever be grateful for all that he has done for them.

- If something is upsetting me he wants to know about it.  He will listen to my complaints (even, and especially, complaints about him) and earnestly try to right any wrongs.  When I am complaining to him about something he has done he does not immediately get defensive (ok, sometimes he does- he is human) and instead really thinks about what I have said and what he can do differently.

- He is a hard worker in all that he does.

- He is a great snuggler.

- He is a great example of a good man for our boys to model and for our little girl to look for someday.

- He is super hot.  Seriously.  Wow.

(He is gonna kick my butt for posting this pic, but LOOK AT HIM, PEOPLE!)

- He cried with me when it was the first day of school for all four of our littles.

- He is strong.  Both physically and emotionally.

- And most importantly to me, he is a faith filled man.  In today's society it can be difficult to find a man that wants God to lead his life.  Todd prays for guidance.  He prays often. We pray together as a couple.  We pray together as a family.  He teaches our children to pray and to trust God and listen to what God is telling them.  He lets our kids know that life is much better with God in it.  God leads his life.

I know that I could not have found this man on my own.  God sent Todd to me and showed me that he was everything I always knew I wanted in a husband.  And even on the days that are not so rosy I am always so thankful for my husband.

Why I Love My HusbandHappy Wives Club

I am a happy wife and I'm linking up over at Happy Wives Club to tell the world about my fabulous hubby and to share how great marriage can be. 

If you have never read the story of how Todd and I met, it is here.


Jeni said...

BEAUTIFUL! Simply beautiful tribute you have written here to Todd and were I in your shoes, it's all very understandable why you feel the way you do about him. (And, I think he pretty much feels the same as you too!)

dawn klinge said...

This brought happy tears to my eyes as I read it. You have written such a beautiful love letter to your husband. It has inspired me to let my own husband know how much I appreciate him.

Tabor said...

You are lucky...but lucky in knowing and understanding what you have in life. May you always be this smart and this happy.

ewe are here said...

Lovely piece. You're both very lucky to have found each other.

Anonymous said...

Reading this makes me so happy for you, Kat! What a great thing to love your spouse so passionately.

Mom24 said...

Really, REALLY beautiful Kat.

Bijoux said...

LOVE this! I read the other story, too. And yeah, I think attorneys are smart, funny and sexy........we have some stuff in common, Kat!

betty said...

What a wonderful tribute to your hubby! I like how your dad had said for you to pray for a good husband; (I hope you are praying for your children's spouses in years to come :)


Fawn said...

You know what's really cool about this blog post? The fact that you're simply picking up where you left off with this list of what you love most about Todd. Thanks for linking up, Kat! I truly enjoyed hopping over here and reading your post.

Karen Deborah said...

awh Kat I am so glad and touched. Thank you for giving God the glory. HE really does bless us with our dreams fulfilled. If only everyone we touch could believe it.
Did Todd see this?

Kat said...

Karen- The hubby read it this morning and said, "That doesn't sound like me." hehe! Funny guy.

Riahli said...

You've got yourself a good husband! Ryder and I wrote out 18 things that we loved about each other on our 18th anniversary, it's so nice to remind our partners {and ourselves} of the things we treasure about them. :)

lime said...

what a wonderful tribute to your husband. i am so glad to know the two of you share such a fulfilling relationship and hold each other as so esteemed and precious.

Cyndy Bush said...

I LOVE this post. I think you are both blessed to have one another and those gorgeous children!!

Unknown said...

Better keep him close ;)
Isn't it wonderful that God knows what we need even when we don't?
So happy for you guys!

Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? said...

Wow! I could always tell he was super awesome, but look at you putting him out there! Todd is an awesome husband and father! And, you are both so very lucky and blessed to have each other.

Unknown said...

Oh, I just adore this. You both are truly blessed. Wow.

And yeah, he's pretty hot! ;-)

imbeingheldhostage said...

Oh, such a beautiful post. I love that you're the kind of person that focuses on what's important in life and I'm so glad you found the person who completes you :)

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson