Golden

I'm sure this is not what you imagined when you pictured your golden anniversary. Maybe you saw a big party with all of your closest friends and family. Maybe you thought of a wonderful, relaxing trip that you'd always dreamed of taking. Or maybe a romantic dinner for just the two of you.

Certainly you didn't imagine this. Your 50th wedding anniversary going by without so much of a card exchanged. You having to explain that the flowers he can't focus on were brought by his daughter he may not remember because it is your anniversary. He can not tell you he loves you on your anniversary, though maybe tomorrow he might be able to.

But he still lights up when you walk in the room. Though his mind might not always know who you are his heart certainly does. You can see it in his smile. You are still his world. And though he may not be able to form the words you want to hear we all know he is thinking them. He loves you best of all. And the words you have told me before still ring true, "No one could ever love me like he loves me." Yes, he still loves you like that.

I know that if he could Daddy would be smothering you with hugs and kisses. Dancing with you in the living room. Taking long walks with you through the woods. Packing up the car for another adventurous trip to anywhere. Buying you sentimental cards and boxes of chocolates. Singing you love songs. Making this day special for you the way he made everyday special.

And this anniversary is still special. It is not just fifty years that you put up with each other. It is fifty years you cherished each other. Respected each other. Stood by each other. Loved each other. Held each other up. Your marriage strengthened you and helped you through the death of a child, the passing of your parents, and the struggles of everyday life. Your marriage transcends Alzheimer's and cancer. And your marriage is more of a testiment to the sacrament of marriage than any other I've ever known. Your marriage has been appointed by God. Your marriage is an example to be followed. A marriage to strive for.

Though this may not be the anniversary you dreamed of this is an anniversary to be celebrated. A marriage to be celebrated. I am blessed just to have been a witness.

Happy 50th Anniversary, Mom and Dad.
I love you so much.

Birthday Blessings

Today is my mom's 69th birthday. It has been almost three years now since she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I never imagined I would be lucky enough to still have her here with me today. It was estimated that she only had a few months to live and yet she is living an active and healthy life today. I can't express how grateful I am.

I am so grateful that my boys continue to have the opportunity to get to know their grandma the way I know her. To see what a beautiful example she is of not only motherly love but of God's love for us. She lives her life by example and continues to amaze me. She handles every situation with grace including her cancer, her daughter's death, her husband's Alzheimer's, her children's struggles, and what ever else life throws at her. Her faith and trust in God is something I strive for every day. She shows us that our suffering makes us stronger and prepares our souls for heaven's reward. She is a shining example of Christianity.

Mom is a positive light in this sometimes dark world. She is supportive, kind, generous, giving, and loving. Though I have been an adult for quite some time I feel I will always need my mom. She is a strength to me. And a best friend. I will continue throughout my life to try and be the kind of mother to my boys that she is to me.

I can not say enough about this amazing woman. And I am so blessed to have had her in my life as long as I have. I pray that today is a special day for her and that she will have many, many more special birthdays to celebrate here with us.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

A Time To Cry

This week has been harsh
My dad is quickly slipping
Further from himself

Mom admitted it's time
She can't do it anymore
It is just too much

A home was picked out
It's the best in the county
Daddy will live there

The tears are running
One right after another
My poor dear parents

Almost 50 years
They lived and loved together
Always as best friends

My heart is breaking
This is just so difficult
To see them suffer

Some of you know that my dad has been suffering from Alzheimer's for many years now. This past week my mom finally admitted that it is time for him to go into a nursing home. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for her to form those words and let them escape her lips. She has put it off for so long. She has done more than anyone ever could especially considering she is fighting her own terminal illness. It is time.

Dad has gone missing many times. This last time he was only wearing one slipper and no jacket on a horribly cold day. His hallucinations are so frequent now that keeping him in the house is a constant battle. Even with the GPS tracking device we have attached to his pants it is difficult to keep tabs on him. My mom has to help him with all the basics. He really can not do anything on his own anymore. And just the other day he actually pushed my mom down to the floor. This is something that would literally kill him if he knew he had done it. And something tells me that this was not the first time it happened. Either way, he is not safe, mom is not safe, and it is time.

The last few days have been a flurry of phone calls, tests, signing paperwork, assessments, and heartbreak. We have found a wonderful nursing home that specializes in Alzheimer's care. We have talked with many family members of residents past and present, and all had encouraging positive comments. Still, to me, it is little comfort.

My mom has been amazingly (though not surprisingly) strong through the whole process. I think once she made the decision, and saw that all of her children were in full support of her, a weight was lifted. She put her head down and her hands together and prayed and plowed through. As always.

The night the decision was made my dad woke up at 3 A.M. (as he does each night) and told my mom she was his angel. He told her how beautiful she is and how lucky he is to have her. My mom is so used to his sweetness that she was only half listening, until he said, "You know I can't always be with you. And I want to take care of you. You need to go somewhere you can be safe even if I'm not with you." My mom couldn't believe her ears. Dad had no idea any decisions were being made about him, and yet his words were so prophetic. She was immediately comforted.

I know there will be many more difficult days ahead. It is to be expected. But I also pray that mom and dad can enjoy the time they still have together. I pray that God gives them peace, and that they can feel His presence. I pray that He has mercy on two people who have always been so faithful to Him. I pray. I pray...

A Marriage Made In Heaven

They met in beauty school. She, an adorable, out-going, 17 year old girl fresh out of high school looking for a job while her boyfriend finished up his stint in the Army. When the woman she worked for suggested beauty school, she thought she would give it a try.

He was a 25 year old semi-professional football player just released from the Army. His girlfriend had convinced him that men make much more money than women do as hairdressers, so off he went to make some cash.

He walked in the door on the first day and stuck out like a sore thumb. There were a few other men in the beauty school, but none that looked like him. He was tall, well over six feet, with a muscular build, and thick, wavy, auburn hair. He was wearing a letter jacket and a Hollywood smile. All of the women in the room immediately melted and fell victim to his wit, his charm, and his flirtatious nature.

Except for her. She was not impressed. As the days went on the other girls in class continued to ooh and aah over him as she rolled her eyes. The girls crowded around to giggle and swoon when one of them said to her, “Oh Gloria, wouldn’t you just love to marry Johnny?”  To which she replied, “I feel sorry for the girl that marries him!”  She thought he was too arrogant and too flirtatious. Just not what she would want in a man.
Time went on and they began to warm to each other. He thought she was cute as a button, though much too young for him. His charm and easy-going nature began to win her over allowing her to realize all they had in common. They shared a passion for their religion, theater, singing, nature, and sports. They laughed constantly and had an obvious chemistry together. They began to enjoy each other’s company and became good friends. She realized she had misjudged him when he told her, “I may be flirtatious, but when I find the right girl, that’s it! She is the only one for me and I will treat her like a Queen.”

It was silly to ignore it anymore. She broke up with her boyfriend and he broke up with his girlfriend as they spent more and more time together. Soon they were inseparable, exploring their new city together, going on long walks, to the movies, and dancing. It all just seemed so natural.

On February 7th, 1959 they were married in her childhood church. Just one week shy of Valentine’s Day they pledged to love, honor and cherish one another until death parted them.

They spent their years taking long walks, going on motorcycle rides, going to church, starring in musicals together, raising 6 children, going camping, traveling, laughing, singing, dancing, working hard, and praying harder. They have been by each other’s side through the death of their first child, the deaths of their parents, cancer, and more recently, Alzheimer’s. And throughout their 49 years of marriage they remained best friends. They hold hands in church. Go on walks through the woods. She helps him get dressed in the morning. He carries the groceries for her.

Their marriage is an example of God’s great love for us and why marriage should be treated as the holy sacrament it is. I feel so blessed to have witnessed such an amazing, committed, faithful marriage. I’ve learned that there are fights, but you forgive. I’ve learned that no one is perfect, and acceptance is imperative. I’ve learned that you live for the good times and put your head down, your hands together, and pray through the hard times.

Thank you for a lifetime of immeasurable lessons.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

This man and this woman
Vowed to be true.
In good times and bad
They would see each other through.
Hand in hand to the floor
They sealed their love with a dance,
And with God on their side
They gave love a chance.
Through the years they take turns
Leading the way,
And though life does get rough
They never do stray.
No matter the song,
No matter the pace,
They always make it through
Dancing with ease and with grace.
All the others admire
Their strength and devotion,
And learn by example
How to keep love in motion.
So it brings me great pleasure
To wish them today
Happy 49th Anniversary,
And God bless them I pray.

Inspirational Woman

How do you put into words the love you feel for the most inspirational person in your life? How can you possibly describe someone who has changed your life, shown you who you want to be, and been an incredible source of strength, wisdom, faith, love and devotion? It seems an impossible task to me, but to honor my mother, I will try.

To know her is to love her. She moves through life like a soft, and yet bright, golden light. She is warm, and kind. She laughs easily and often, making strangers immediately feel comfortable around her. She is fun and vivacious and would still describe herself as a tomboy even though she looks beautiful, feminine, and put together. She is uber dramatic and animated with large expressive eyes and grand, sweeping gestures. She is a nature and animal lover. She has even been called "the doggy whisperer" because she has such a kinship with them. She sings like an angel (with perfect pitch, too) and has been in the church choir for 35 years and countless musicals. Her hands are strong and gentle and have been well used over her 68 years. Whether cooking a delicious meal for her husband and six children, working in the garden, changing babies and grandbabies diapers, doing laundry, rubbing a child's back, feeling a feverish forehead, or serving a warm meal to the homeless, you can feel the love in everything that she does. She is always there. Ever available. Willing to listen, comfort, and help.

She has not had the easiest life, but you would never guess it by talking with her. My oldest sister died when she was nine years old from complications of Turner Syndrome. Even though I was not yet alive, my mother talked about her often and made sure that we all knew about her, and never forgot her. I remember asking mom if in her grief she ever became angry with God. She responded, "Oh no. I always knew that she didn't belong to me. None of you kids do. You all belong to God. I am just grateful I was able to have her for 9 years." She has amazing faith. It is her faith that truly defines her.

Two years ago on New Year's Eve she was diagnosed with end stage Multiple Myeloma. She was not expected to make it more than 6 months. She, however, knew something the doctors did not. While she was unconscious in the hospital she talked with Jesus. Jesus told mom that she had more work to do, He needed her, and asked if she would come back. She, of course, said yes.

She is doing miraculously well now (and is famous for saying, "I am really healthy! Well, except for the terminal disease, Hahaha!"), and doing God's work as she takes care of my dad who has Alzheimer's. Moreover, this past year she invited my 40 year old brother to come and live with them when he was depressed and out of work. She really is an angel here on earth.

You see, she has a theory. Life is not easy. It is not supposed to be easy. She believes we are given challenges that are intended to help us strengthen our weaknesses in order to be worthy of heaven when we die. She figures she has been given the task of taking care of my dad with Alzheimer's because she always felt her biggest weakness was impatience. This is her ultimate test of patience. And I can be the first to attest she is passing with flying colors.

Mom can be described as warm, kind, loving, humble, generous, beautiful, smart, emotional, fun, thoughtful, and caring. Some even call her Saint Gloria, but it makes her incredibly uncomfortable. She will be the first to point out her failings and weaknesses, which to me, makes her an even more perfect and relateable mother.
Still, I feel that I am not describing her accurately just yet. How do I convey the fun, silly, tomboy side of her personality? What if I told you that she drives around on a Spree scooter in summer with her dog propped in between her legs? How about I tell you about the time she and her granddaughters were zipping up and down the sidewalk on their push scooters, laughing and screaming even when mom flipped over onto her head? Hmmm. Perhaps if I tell you the story of my mom and dad canoeing down a river 10 years ago, then carrying the canoe over their heads up a muddy bank, and falling, sliding all the way back down the bank into the water, laughing the whole time? Maybe if I tell you that as a kid she would challenged the neighbor boy to a "peeing in the snow" contest and got really angry when he could pee his name and she couldn't? Or maybe that she would climb the trees, hike the trails, swim in the lake, camp in the tent, sled down the hill, and jump in the leaves right along with us? Would that do it? Hmmph.

I have heard people say, "Oh no! I'm turning into my mother!"  If only I could be so lucky. She lives her life as an example. She doesn't tell you how to live, she shows you. She doesn't tell you how to love people, she shows you. She doesn't tell you how to have faith. She shows you.

She is the most amazing, and influential person in my life. She is my mom.

This post was in participation with Hump Day Hmm.

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My Mom in Wordless Wednesday