Monday, September 7, 2015

The Weekend

I sit in the same spot on the porch where he used to sit. I can understand his fondness for this spot now. The sun's warmth pools in this exact location and it is a clear view straight down to the water's edge. 
I watch as the kids swim and splash and play around in the water. I think of how spoiled these kids of mine are. How spoiled I am. Spoiled by this little bit of heaven we get to enjoy whenever out schedules allow. 
Here it is, Labor Day weekend, and it is one of the only weekends we will be able to enjoy the cabin until football season is over and we are able to make our escape up north again. It is hot and humid but there is a strong wind that keeps it comfortably hot instead of stifling. It is the perfect weekend and once again I am so grateful I have the opportunity to be here. This eden.

Sitting in his spot on the porch I can't help but remember a conversation I'd had with him. It was a special conversation because the Alzheimer's had progressed and already had Jerry in it's grasp. Real conversations were hard to come by. 

We had all decided to go up to the cabin together, maybe for the last time with Jerry since he had become increasingly uncomfortable outside of his everyday environment. Even his pride and joy, his cabin, was no longer familiar to him. We stopped for dinner at The Long Bar and Jerry and I were sitting at the bar waiting for our Friday fish fry to be served at our table. Todd was talking to LaVerne at the table and the kids were preoccupied by the music in the jukebox. Jerry and I were the only ones at the bar. And in a moment of clarity Jerry told me how proud he was of Todd. How he couldn't have asked for more in a son. How he thought Todd and I were a good match and made such a nice couple. A good team. I sat stunned. Speechless. Afraid to say anything and break his train of thought. Jerry went on to tell me how he loved his cabin up north and always hoped his kids and grandkids would someday enjoy it as well. He told me how happy it made him to see us all up here making memories and having fun. It was what he had always envisioned and dreamed of. 

I think we made him proud this weekend. Early morning fishing, swimming and tubing in the afternoon, hunting and hiking, and bonfires at night. We did it all. I know he is smiling down on us as he watches his dream fulfilled.

My kids often talk about how they will take care of the cabin when we are older. They love it there. They know how good they have it. And so do I. Thank you, Jerry and LaVerne, for allowing us to experience this life.


Bijoux said...

That is both sad and beautiful. XO

betty said...

It is a beautiful place to spend time at. I'm truly convinced, even though we might not realize it at the time, but God gives us experiences like this with those we love as they are nearing their final days this side of eternity. You had the wisdom to be quiet and to listen as your dad expressed how much he loved that place as well as you all and now you carry that wonderful memory with you.


Tabor said...

What a wonderful heritage.

Mom24 said...

I cried when I read this. Beautifully said.

Riahli said...

Awwww, this got me all teary eyed. So sweet. What a wonderful thing to enjoy such a beautiful place with your children and have all those memories attached to it. said...

Oh, Kat. I have missed you and your beautiful words of wisdom. What a sad, soulful post. I promise to not stay away again! xoxoxoxox

Unknown said...

Your cabin always makes me think of my cousin's cabin up in Canada. I wish I lived closer to I could enjoy it more. It's so beautiful. You are blessed to have such a wonderful retreat! :)

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson