Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Just Write

I'm cold.  It's cold in here. 

I grab a blanket from our huge blanket pile, curl up on the chair, and encase myself in the big green comforter that used to cover our bed so long ago.  I hold my face over the beam of steam coming off my coffee.  After heating my coffee for far too long in the microwave it is way too hot to drink but I wrap my ice cold fingers around the mug and enjoy the burn anyway.  I'm so cold even my nose is icy.  I am chilled to the bone.  The kind of chilled to the bone that goes right along with tired to the bone. 

Lately it seems that no matter how much sleep I get, no matter how many vitamins I take, no matter how well I eat, and no matter how much exercise I get, I am still tired.  I am always tired.  I flash back to naptime today (and everyday) and what a struggle it is to get the kids in their beds through all their wailing and protests of naptime hatred.  Oh how I wish someone would insist I take a 2 hour nap every day. 

Just like clock work I hear Grace on the monitor.  She is singing, as usual.  The girl wakes up singing.  Clearly, she does not have her mother's grumpiness upon waking. 

My head feels foggy.  I think I'm coming down with something.  I push myself up from my chair and hear my knees crack.  Oh man.  If I'm this sore and stiff now imagine how I'll feel when I'm 80.   "I'm much too young to feel this damn old."

I glance out the window and see the boys walking towards our house.  They are swinging sticks, laughing and talking, and walking on the neighbor's grass again.  Good grief, how many times do I have to tell them not to do that? 

I hurry up the stairs to get Ben and Grace up so that I can rush back downstairs to get homework started before swim class.  T minus 30 minutes until we have to leave.  Oh crap.  And I have choir tonight too.  I don't know if I can make it through another 3 hour rehearsal. 

Back downstairs I settle Ben and Grace onto the couch with snacks and a movie.  I get Joey and Tommy going on their homework and begin to pack the swimming bag.  I quickly chug my now lukewarm coffee and wait to feel even a little boost of energy.  It doesn't happen. 

Only 6 more hours until I can go to bed. 


chrissy said...

I feel like that on way way too many days. Most days, actually. I hate the after-school rushing around and the late evenings and then the rushing to get everyone to bed. How long till summer? (Feel better!)

Tabor said...

Not knowing how tired you are...when was the last time you saw a doctor Could you have iron deficiency? Maybe you ARE just coming down with something, but be sure to take care of yourself before you take care of everyone else.

Kat said...

Tabor- I just gave blood and my iron is fine. I also had an annual exam with my OB/GYN and he ran tests for my thyroid and that was normal too. I think it is just life. Run, run, run. Ya know?
Thanks for asking though. I have been looking into it but I think it is just life with little kids. ;)

Hilary said...

Raising kidlets is exhausting. I can only imagine what four wee ones are like. You need a vacation.. sans kids.

Unknown said...

I was so exhausted today that I couldn't really even believe it. Maybe it was because I gave up caffeine again. Your coffee sounds SO good...

Your words sound familiar in so many ways.

Kathy said...

Well, you answered my question about your thyroid so I just want to say I hope you feel better soon.
Summer will be here before you know it & hopefully will bring its slower pace to your household.
It's been a cold Spring here, too, so I'm hanging all my hopes on May and wishing it would hurry up & get here.

Jeni said...

I can relate -totally -to the being tired syndrome as well as the joints cracking and taking forever to actually begin moving without major pain involved. But then too, I'm a good bit older than you and it's generally to be expected that I would feel this way -or so I think. (I know at least 2 women from our church women's group who are each 80 years old and they have more energy, get-up-and-go stuff than I had when I was 40! I don't usually have much choice about taking a nap though as, after supper, if I sit down in my recliner to watch the news, most of the time within 15 minutes, tops, I'm out like a light! Sometimes, like tonight, I just sit there and sleep for 2-3 hours and then, of course, wonder why I can't get a good night's sleep then when I do finally get to bed. Actually, I'm starting to yawn now, so maybe soon I'll be ready to fall asleep -in bed where I belong -fairly easily. At least I won't have to get up at 7:30 in the a.m. today to get the grandkids off to school since their Mom isn't working today! (So I can sleep in then!)

Anonymous said...

She wakes up singing! How cool.
Mr. D and i are hobbling more and more in the morning. We joke about how we'll move once we get REALLY old!

Riahli said...

Do you get that second wind though like I do? All day long I dream of sleeping and then bed time rolls around and I can't shut my brain off... so annoying. Or maybe it's just that I love the quiet so much I don't want it to end so I stay up way too late, ha ha!

Kat said...

Riahli- Yes! It takes me forever to fall asleep at night. At least 1-2 hours each night. It is awful! I just can't shut my brain off. So bad.

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson