Monday, February 24, 2014

Tween

Tween: in between.

Eleven.

In between.

That is exactly what Joey is feeling lately.

Today Joey turns 11 years old. Just yesterday he told me that he doesn't want to get any older. When I prodded him he confessed that he liked where he is right now in this moment. He worries that when he gets even a few years older he will no longer like the things he does now. When he is 14 will he still want to be a fighter pilot or a LEGO engineer? He likes playing with his brothers and sister, building LEGOS, making snow forts, watching cartoons, snuggling with his mum. He doesn't want to get older and feel like he has to leave that behind.

It kind of floored me.

I can remember being a kid and constantly wanting to be older. I felt like the older I got the better life would be. Maybe that is the curse of being the youngest. Constantly wanting to jump to the next phase of life.

But not Joey. He wants to stay here. Right now. In this time. And hearing him say that made my heart explode. He is happy. Right now. In this time. I couldn't ask for more.

Yet even as I am explaining to Joey that he can do all the same things at 15 that he does now my heart aches a bit knowing that he probably won't. My 15 year old Joey will probably not pile onto the recliner with me for a snuggle. Things will change. He will grow up and grow through phases. As he should.

But for now. We will enjoy Joey at 11 years old. There is so much to enjoy.
What a year you've had, Joseph. An amazing year. Such growth. You are becoming a man right before my eyes. Suddenly, you are becoming responsible, taking pride in your work, working hard, keeping a positive attitude, trying your absolute best in everything you do.

I can see it. I can see how hard you are trying to be a good boy. To do the right thing. It is a visible, tangible thing. This sudden maturity. This strength. This care. It is impressive. I know I've told you many, many times this year, but I will say it again. Your dad and I see how much you are trying. We see it. We appreciate it. And we are so proud of you.

My heart is full with thoughts of you. My big/little man. My first born. My 11 year old. My son. My Joey.

Happy Birthday, Joseph. I love you more than you'll ever know.

16 comments:

Anita said...

Such a sweet story! I don't have boys, but I love seeing those who love their mamas enough to share their feelings. :) I hope that part of him will always remain.

Happy Birthday Joey! Wishing you many blessings.

(My brother's middle name is Joseph and we call him Joey, too.)

Don't forget to change Joey's age your About Me section. :)

Kat said...

Anita- Gah! Thank you for the reminder! I still haven't changed Ben's age on there either and his bday was two weeks ago! I'm on it now! ;)

Lindsay Y. said...

Awww, what a sweet boy with a sweet heart. Happy Birthday!

Cyndy @ Back in the Bush said...

I'm like you, I always wanted to be older. I am the baby too. He seems like such a sweet kid!
Happy Belated Birthday to him!

Bijoux said...

I know he had a fantastic birthday already, but wishing him a lifetime of great years so that he never wants to get older.

Tabor said...

I think you need to encourage him to believe that life is all about doing what you love no matter your age and not worrying about what others think! If you try to mold yourself into something that you think others think you should be or do you will end up with your ladder against the wrong wall at the end of life's climb.

Kat said...

Tabor- Yes. That is exactly what I did. But, it is mostly about him worrying that he won't like the same things when he gets older. He sees his older cousins growing up. He is pretty smart. He knows that you grow out of certain things. I think he is just really happy right now. He wasn't being overly worried or melancholy. He still looks forward to getting older but he knows things change.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Happy birthday to him!
My oldest is the same way--hates growing up and giving up what he loves. But I cherish having a 14 year old who will play with his younger brothers and ignores Facebook. Funny thing is when his friends come over, they are just FINE playing "war" in the woods or ball tag, too.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Happy birthday to him!
My oldest is the same way--hates growing up and giving up what he loves. But I cherish having a 14 year old who will play with his younger brothers and ignores Facebook. Funny thing is when his friends come over, they are just FINE playing "war" in the woods or ball tag, too.

Kat said...

GG- Well that certainly is good to hear. I think our boys would get along well. :)

Mimsie said...

You can see it in his eyes that he is a really nice kid. You can take credit for at least part of that!!!

nbrsspot.blogspot.com said...

happy b-day joey. sorry i missed the actual day to say it. I know what he is feeling. I have a 9 year old an a 13 year old already. its hard watching them grow up. hope he had a good day.

Hilary said...

My cousin's daughter was just about the same age when she sobbed her heart out about the same thing. She did not want to grow up and have to stop playing. My cousin tried to explain that she still can but would probably just not care to anymore. She sobbed harder. She didn't sleep well for days with this worry on her young mind. She's 30 now and "playing" with two kids of her own. She's still a worrier but she's also one of the sweetest, most compassionate people I know. She and Joey are thinkers. That's a good thing. Happy Birthday to your sweet boy.

betty said...

Happy belated birthday to Joey! What a special young man you are raising!

betty

Dawn Klinge said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet Joey. I hope that he enjoys eleven, it's such a great age. My son wants to be a Lego engineer too. Maybe they'll work together some day. : )

Elaine Alguire said...

I am freaking out a bit about double digits for my oldest next month! It is just so bittersweet.

Happy (belated) Birthday to Joey!!

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson