Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Torn and Tattered

Hmmm.  Where to begin.  So much floating around in my head these days that it seems I've just been avoiding writing about it because I'm not sure just what to say.  Here it goes...

-  My uncle passed away last week and we went to his funeral on Memorial Day.  It was an outside service at his house where we had camped and fished and partied so many times before.  As we pulled up to the house I swore I saw Uncle Larry sitting at the picnic table before I remembered why I was there in the first place.  It hasn't really sunken in that he is gone.  This is going to take some gettin' used to. 

-  The construction on the addition is coming along.  There are always workers going in and out the house and there is always pounding and sawing throughout the day.  I can't wait until this project is done.  Just to have a peaceful afternoon (or morning) again would be bliss.  Not to mention being able to let the boys play in the backyard.  Or having GRASS in the backyard again.  Oh glory!  I can't wait.

The room will be amazing when it is done.  I always say that the one thing I miss about my old house is my sunroom, and the addition has that sunroom feel to it.  There are windows on all three walls and it soaks up the afternoon sun with all the southern and western exposure.  It will be great! 

(Not a great shot, I know, but I wanted to show how the addition opens up the space and how airy it is. And also the lovely piece of plastic that separates our living space from the workspace that the boys just LOVE the mess with)

-  My boys are driving me crazy.  Seriously crazy.  I don't know if it is just the end of school madness (seven days left) that has them so manic or if it is just a phase.  Either way I hope it passes quickly.  It seems that no matter how many times I ask them not to do something the minute I turn around they are doing the very thing I asked them not to do.  Every time I give them an inch of freedom they break something, or hurt someone, or act naughty.  I just don't get it!  In just the last week Joey kicked Ben in the face and split his lip, his tongue, and his gums.  A few days later Ben kneed Joey in the head and Joey got a concussion (he threw up from it and everything).  Then last night Joey yanked Tommy down to the floor so hard that we thought Tommy's shoulder was dislocated.  And this is all while they are PLAYING with each other.  It isn't malicious.  They think it is all in fun!  And then when I tell them to stop "wrestling" they look at me like I am the meanest mom in the world.  It is insanity.  The other day I let them go outside and ride bikes and play ball but when I glanced out the window I saw them digging massive holes in the front yard under the neighbor's trees.  WTH???  Then when I let them play down in the basement I came down and saw them splashing water all over the place from my fish tank.  WHY??   What is happening to my boys?  I just don't get it.  And these are really good kids.  Seriously.  I just don't know what has gotten into them lately.  I feel like I am scolding and yelling nonstop. This past week or two I have had serious doubts about whether I will make it to see them as adults.  I just don't think I'm gonna make it. 

-  Just this morning I was telling my mom about what the boys have done recently and she didn't know whether to laugh or cry for me.  She knows what it is like because she had three boys as well.  I know girls come with their own difficulties in raising them, but I tell ya, having three boys close in age is insanity.  And I don't think anyone can understand it unless you have it.  Craziness.  My sister has three girls close in age and she just watches my boys in disbelief.  And like I said, my boys really are good kids, it is just the energy level that wears you down.  They can't sit still.  They can't focus.  They can't play with any one toy for longer than a few minutes.  It seems like they are constantly bursting out of their skin. 

Anyway, my mom said she will say some prayers for me, so that made me feel better.  ;)

-  I went to church this morning for the childrens' school mass. It was the third graders' mass and they asked the Kindergartners if they would like to join in with them.  Tommy was assigned a reading part.  I couldn't believe it.  I was nervous for Joey when he had his first church reading in first grade and now Tommy was going to do a reading and he is only in Kindergarten.  Unbelievable. 

Tommy got up to the podium and read his petition slowly, carefully, and with feeling.  I was amazed.  He did so well, and he was so completely proud of himself.  It almost made me forget how rotten he was before school this morning.   I did have to laugh when I thought about the words he read:  "For all those who are struggling to decide between right and wrong, that God may guide them in the right direction. Let us pray to the Lord."  AMEN to that, Tommy.  That will definitely be my prayer for myself and my family this week.

Tell me, what are you praying for?

(By the way, there are certain blogs that I haven't been able to comment on this week.  For some reason I keep getting kicked back to my Google sign in page and then when I sign in my comment isn't accepted.  It just keeps kicking me back to the sign in.  It seems to only be the blogs that have the "Post As:" button after the comment box.  Anyway,  I am reading, and hopefully this computer glitch will be fixed soon.  Thanks!)


Elaine A. said...

Funny how God gives us the words sometimes, huh?

I have ONLY 2 boys and I know what you mean. My little guy just DOESN'T listen so he's my challenge right now. And then he gets his brother in trouble too. It's pretty peaceful here this week since Ben is staying with my MIL this week but things are gonna get interesting next week, I'm sure when it's our first full week out of school, etc.

I'm praying for you and your boys too Kat. xo

Tonya said...

I feel the same way these past few weeks. The kids are going NUTS. I think it is the nice weather and then all the rain that has them still cooped up inside that is making them stir crazy?!?! Not sure but that is my guess.

Mom24 said...

Oh wow, that reading is too funny! Hang in there. They are good kids, but that's definitely a lot to handle all at once. Early bedtime once in a while? Being a mom is definitely exhausting sometimes isn't it?

Jaysi said...

Wow, to say you have been going through a lot is an understatement. Here is the thing....we will all go through difficult times, but we get to go THROUGH them. We don't have to set up camp and stay there. God will bring you through all of this, Kat. I know it can feel overwhelming at times, but remember He is always with you and will carry you THROUGH this.

I am truly sorry about your uncle. Losing someone you love is a tough one.

I do here you on the boys know I have three of those myself. I often think my friends with girls just don't get it. Really it is totally not the same. I know you have amazing boys, and they will work through this. We struggle with the same thing around here. My only advice is...stand your ground. Moms of boys have it extra tough here, but we have to let them know we mean business. They will thank us for it later.

Hang in there buttercup!


Allison said...

Oh, girlfriend....I have soooo been there. However, my biggest troublemaker is the girl! She can literally make me want to pull my hair out with her sass and defiance! Hang in there.

It is special to see them do their readings at mass. Max did his first one this spring in 1st grade.

ewe are here said...

I am so glad you posted this about your boys ... because my boys are driving me insane as well. They are good boys. But they're not listening, doing things I specifically tell them not to, 'accidentally' hurting each other and my things, and generally rampaging around like little rabid monkeys. What is going on?!?

I'm cracking down this week, especially on the just-turned 6 year old, as we're on half-term break, and hopefully we will rediscover some semblance of orderly chaos.

Kelly said...

People used to tell me this when I would be pulling out my hair with my 3 boys and it's so true

"there is a special place in heaven for the mother of boys"

You'll get there I'm sure! Hang tough it does get better.

Jeni said...

When I read your words about telling your Mom about your troubles with the boys and her not knowing whether to laugh or cry, I have to confess that I chuckled there! (She's probably thinking that the old mother's curse -"I hope you have children someday who are as bad as you or worse" -has come true! I used to tell my kids that was what I wished would someday happen to them and for the most part, it has! I always said girls were more difficult to raise though than boys -because my two girls sometimes had the urge to be a bit of a bully, much more so than my son ever had. And today, with the grandkids who live with me, I still say that because Maya is much harder to contend with than her little brother -most of the time! But just revert back whenever you can to your positive attitude and before you know it, the boys will either run out of steam or get the idea you're trying to convey to them about how to behave ALL the time. Or, as my daughter Mandy often says here about her two kids -"Patience, Time, Love!" And a few prayers for your survival now and again don't do any harm either.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Oh Kat, I am sorry about your Uncle Larry :-( Is he from your Mom's or Dad's side?
And the kids thing. Thank you. I feel like the most horrible Mom in the world after this week-long school break they had, but you've just made me remember that we all have days (weeks, months) like this. So even though you;re suffering, thank you for telling us!

One prayer I've been saying for nearly 23 years: "Please, God, let their memories of the bad times be cloudy and the good times be clear... and help me not to warp them too badly".

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I'm so sorry about your uncle...

Ah, boys. This is why so many boys (IMHO) are diagnosed with attention issues. They are BOYS. They are designed to be digging up trees and throwing fish water. That's what they do. As a non-male human being, I can't always understand it, but I feel your pain. Why, just today, I called Patrick up to our staircase landing and had him look at the 2 story wall beside it. It has some sort of brownish liquid stain all over it, as though some young person (ahem. SON!) squirted brown water with a squirt gun in my house.


April said...

I'm having the SAME issue with posting comments. Ugh.

I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle. My thoughts are with you.

AND. I give you a lot of credit. If I had THREE of Hunter, I'd seriously wanna bang my head on the wall. Love the kid to pieces of course but DAMN is he tough some days wiht all the mischief he gets into...and he's only (almsot) two!!!

lime said...

boy: a noise with dirt on it.

i'm glad he mayhem between then is happy at least but yep, praying for patience and good choices.

me? for my girl to finish school strong and have no hindrances to graduation. also i am in desperate need of guidance in choosing a good doctor for my girl who has lyme disease. we cannot stay where we are. that doc is just too harsh and, truth be told, crazy when it comes to dealing with some of her anxiety over treatment.

Dysfunctional Mom said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your uncle.
As for the boys....
I know its hard to believe now, but one day you'll look back on this and laugh. I hope things get better soon, I say wear them out all day and then put them to bed early!

Riahli said...

Oh goodness do I feel your pain on the wild and crazy boys! I've got three really, really close in age and sometimes I feel like I spend the whole day going in circles, scolding and then yelling {yes yelling, I wish I didn't, but I do...} I feel so frustrated and upset sometimes by the end of the day, then I spend way too much precious should be sleeping time wondering how I can make the next day better. Just to have it go the exact same way. Rinse and repeat. Sigh. I have really well behaved boys too, and when I tell people the stuff that they do at times they don't even seem to believe me... I guess it's because they save most the crazy for at home {which proves that they do it just to drive me insane} I should be thankful for this, but it's oh so exhausting! I can't say that my girl is so much easier though... she's a wild one, and has learned all her tricks from her older brothers. :)

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson