Oh, October

Oh, October, where did you go? You have always been one of my favorite months of the year and this year you were no where to be found.

We waited patiently for you to come. Dreams of sunlight streaming through the trees, pumpkin farms, and Halloween night filled our heads. Instead you brought us temps in the 40s, dark, dreary days, howling winds, and torrential rains. We rarely saw the sun, and trips to the pumpkin farm were cancelled over and over again. Our annual leaf pile photos were impossible with the high winds that shook the leaves off the trees before they could turn their true brilliant colors. Not to mention the fact that any leaf piles we could muster were soaking wet.

But we tried. We tried to resume our normal activities though they were much later than we would have liked.

We did make it to the pumpkin farm. The day before Halloween. And all of the pumpkins they had left were rotten. And the pumpkin patch was muddy. And it was 40 degrees, windy, and dreary. But we got there. And somehow we still managed to have fun.

We took plenty of goofy pictures like this: And this:

We managed to get a decent family picture. Everyone was even looking at the camera!

Gracie got her very first pumpkin.

Ben saw some super cute bunnies.

And the boys got a big kick out of all the baby goats.

It was a short trip to the pumpkin farm, and we couldn't do half of the activities there that we normally enjoy, but we still had fun.

I was hoping that you, October, were saving the most beautiful day of the month for the very last day. Halloween. But, you didn't. We woke up to a rainy, cold morning, with 30 mile/hr wind gusts yet again. The boys were nervous that trick or treating would be cancelled, but I reassured them that we would have fun no matter what.

We got all decked out in our fabulous costumes, with 10 layers of clothes underneath.

Grace was a mouse for her very first Halloween. I think she liked it.

Ben was a dalmatian again this year because the costume still fit. And besides, he makes an adorable puppy.

Joey was a vampire. Secretly I wondered if my Twilight obsession was to blame.

And Tommy was once again saving the world as Spiderman.

They made a handsome crew.

It was very cold outside but running from door to door helped to keep us warm. That and the four layers of clothes we had on underneath our costumes. We meet some of our neighbors for the first time and discovered that this neighborhood is very generous at Halloween, which pleased the boys immensely.

After the first few blocks I decided Grace would be warmer next to me so I put her in the sling and hid her inside my jacket. Much better.

The kids were super troopers walking for two hours in the cold and Grace was very patient. But she was clearly relieved when we finally got back home and she was able to eat. She was a hungry and tired little mouse. Though she hid it well.

Yes, we managed to have some fun, no thanks to you, October. Next year I would greatly appreciate it if you could kindly remember that you are supposed to average 65 degrees with no more than 5 or 6 days of rain. I'm just sayin.

And if you could tell November to take it easy on us, that'd be great. Thanks.

The Rest of the Story--- The Reveal Part 2

Let's resume our tour, shall we? Follow me upstairs.

I know this first picture isn't a great picture but I wanted to show you the chandelier from upstairs and also the wall that was built in place of the old, rickety, low wrought iron railing that used to be there. I love this hallway now, and I don't have to worry about my children falling over the railing. Yeah!

Immediately at the top of the stairs in the master bedroom, but I'm saving that for last, cuz it is my fav. Walk around the hallway and the first room you come to is Grace's room. I probably should have taken new shots of the bedrooms because they now all have curtains and a few more homey touches, but you get the idea. Look! Isn't it pretty? It is a warm peach color that matches perfectly with her bedding set. I love this room. It feels so cozy even though it is pretty large. I still can't believe that I have a girly room in my house. :)

The next room is the kids' bathroom. We painted it a bright blue to look kind of tropical and then had a fishy theme going on. You probably can't see it but the shower curtain is adorable cartoon fish, and the toothbrush holder, kleenex box, soap dispenser, and tumbler is the same set. The boys LOVE IT. I even put their fake fish tank on the sink top and when they take baths we turn off the lights and turn the fish tank on so that they feel like they are "under the sea". Very fun!

Now we are moving on to Joey and Tommy's room. I just took one view of the kids' rooms but where I am standing there are also double closets, which will be a huge bonus as they get older. Looking at it in this picture the room looks kinda small, but it isn't. Lots of room for both boys to play. And the little farts have THE BEST view of the lake. They can wake up in the morning and watch the sun rise over the lake if they want to. Not that they appreciate it now, but maybe when they get bigger?

This is Ben's room. This color green is just gorgeous. I LOVE this room. It actually has so much room that I wasn't sure what to do with all the space. We took Todd's grandma's recliner that used to be in our basement and put it in his room and I think it looks great in there. His dresser went to Grace and I took the dresser from our downstairs bathroom at the old house and put it in his room. Surprisingly it matches really well.

Okay, let's head back around the hallway and go to MY ROOM! It is a really nice size so I took a couple views of it. This view is from the hallway.

This is the view standing in front of our bathroom door. I wanted you to see this view because they built the wall where my dresser is and added a huge walk in closet (I should have taken pics of our closets. They are awesome). I was worried it would make the room feel much smaller, but it really didn't. There used to be sliding doors where the windows are now, but we took them out (because we took away the catwalk that used to be on the outside).

This is the view standing by my dresser. My closet is on the right and the bathroom door is on the left.

Remember the old master bath? If not, please take a minute and check it out here. It was pretty freaking scary. This is the new master bath. We knocked down a few walls (took out a weird closet and a laundry room that was on the other side of the old master bath) and I can't believe how much room that gave us.

Look at my freaking bathtub!!! Not that I've gotten to use it yet.

Opposite the bathtub is the shower. Ooh-la-la! I love this shower. So good.

I never thought I would have a master suite. It is amazing. I can actually take a shower or go to the bathroom without worrying about waking the kids. It is crazy! And I can read in bed at night without thinking that my squeaky floor will disturb the sleeping munchkins. AND, with the awesome curtains I found (Joe and Tommy's room has navy blue, and the rest of the bedrooms have chocolate brown) everyone is sleeping later, which HELLO!, freaking rocks.

So anyway, that is the upstairs. I still could show you the basement which is set up like a movie room and also has the boys' playroom. And I could show you the first floor laundry too, if you like, cause I love my laundry and powder room. Oh, and I still haven't shown you our views of my much loved Lake Michigan. I could do that too! And of course the front and backyard. I'm sure you'll want to see those too. When we finally plant grass, that is. I guess I'll wait on that one.

Needless to say, the house is now feeling like home. Todd and I look at each other every once in a while and say, "Can you believe we live here?" It doesn't seem real. It really makes me smile to think of how we got here (we lost the bid on that first house and I was devastated, remember?), and how it all just fell into place. I guess that is just how life works sometimes.

Blessed

Today was your special day, angel. You got dressed up all pretty in your beautiful gown, your fancy shoes, and your sweet little bonnet and went to church. You slept all throughout mass, and woke up smiley and precious as ever. You looked right at Father and listened as he read the blessing to you. You squinted and shook your head as he poured the holy water on your head, but you never cried. You were all smiles.
I was so proud to hold you. So proud of my little girl. So proud to let everyone know that you are not only my child, but a child of God too.

All too soon your baptism was over. You handled it all perfectly. Even the car ride home.

I hung up your special dress and realized that this day, just like so many other days in your life, had come and gone too quickly. Yet another reminder to cherish every moment I have with you.

I am so proud of you, Grace. I love you more than words can say. Congratulations, and God Bless You.

Oh Brother

The boys love having Grace as their little sister. They are truly smitten with her. They fight over who gets to hold her and run to see her first thing in the morning. They tell us over and over again how they got the best baby in the whole world, that they never thought they would get such a wonderful baby, and that she is the prettiest thing they have ever seen. They are in love.

Just this morning Tommy got up and told me he had the best dream last night. He said that he dreamt he took Grace hunting in the woods up north. He was carrying her around and talking to her and when he had to set her down on the ground he put a blanket down first so that her pretty clothes wouldn't get dirty. Such a sweet boy even in his dreams.

Ben is constantly telling anyone who will listen that Grace is HIS baby. You'd better agree with him too, or watch out! That boy loves his little sister. Every time he is close to her he is gritting his teeth and clenching his fists to keep from squeezing her too hard.

And then of course there is Joey. Yesterday Joey was telling us how he was going to take Grace out for coffee and to the movies when she gets older. We smiled and told him how nice that was and Todd jokingly added, "You'll have to go with her when she has dates too."

Joey said, "What do you mean?"

I clarified, "Well, when a boy wants to take Grace out on a date you or Tommy or Ben will have to chaperon and make sure the boy is nice to her."

Joey was shocked and furious when he yelled, "Are you KIDDING me? I'm not gonna let some boy go out with Grace!"

I laughed so hard I could barely squeak out the "Good boy, Joe!"

Then I looked down at Grace who was sitting sweetly on my lap and I said, "Good luck, sweetheart!"

The Reveal- Part 1

Okay, I think you have all waited long enough. I finally have some pictures of our new house for you. Mind you, we don't have any pictures hung or any window treatments, but other than that I think it is pretty much done.

Before you view these pictures I suggest you go back and look at this post so you can fully appreciate how HIDEOUS the house was before. :)

This is the outside of the house. It used to be all white with white brick. We hated that. We also added gables over the front left windows and the garage to make it more visually appealing. We have our landscaping done except for the grass. I'm not sure we will be able to fit that in this year since it has gotten so cold so fast. Grrr. But at least the boys have this huge brand new driveway to play in (if it ever stops raining). Yeah!
You walk in the front door and this is the view. Remember the heinous crystal chandelier? Yeah, that wasn't our style. We took that down, painted the iron railing and tore off all the nasty wallpaper. It makes a huge difference. This chandelier is also on a dimmer switch and makes for such beautiful mood lighting when you walk in at night. Ooooo.

This is my kitchen. I LOVE IT. I am so happy about it I could cry. It is huge. And we have a kitchen table! That is so exciting for us I can't even tell you. It is so nice to eat dinner (and breakfast and lunch too) around the kitchen table every night. This view is from the living room looking into the kitchen. You can't see from this view but on the other side of the fridge there are three huge pantry doors. Oh how I love my storage. Also, the patio doors are just out of view on the right hand side.

Now we are looking at the living room from the kitchen. I realize now that I should have adjusted the light on this pic a bit because the light washes out the color of the room. It is a real mellow yellow throughout the kitchen and living room. It makes everything so warm and cozy. Remember the ugly wall of stone where the fireplace is? We riped that crazy stuff out and also knocked down a wall to the right of the room to make it all bigger. It worked great! It isn't the largest living room around (plus we have a massive family room down in the basement for the boys to spread out in) but I actually prefer the cozy feel. I love this room.

The door on the right side of the room takes you to my laundry room, a half bath (which I didn't get a picture of because while I love the tile we chose the rooms really aren't that exciting) and the garage.

This is our dining room. It is massive. I don't even have furniture to fill up the room. Eventually we will get a buffet table or something but for now this will do. The chandelier here matches the one in the hallway (which is where I was standing to take this pic).

Here is my beloved library. There is a lovely, large window to the right just out of frame with a lovely seat next to it. I couldn't get it all in the frame and didn't want to upload too many pics cause Blogger is so slow. I love this room!

That concludes the tour of the first floor. I will take you upstairs to the bedrooms (I have a PINK one now!) and bathrooms later this week.

So, what do you think so far? I am definitely loving it.

Talking It Out

Well. You are all just amazing. What seriously lovely, wonderful, supportive people you are. I honestly started feeling better shortly after posting on Sunday and reading your comments. I talked to Todd about my sorry state and of course he was very supportive. I'm sure this is just the baby blues, I've had it after each of my children were born, but it was compounded by everything else going on.

And, of course, you were all right. Talking about it made all the difference in the world. I feel so much more like myself again. Still a bit stressed, but definitely able to handle it, and certainly not alone. Whew.

I felt so good that this morning I took a bunch of pictures of the house to post for you all later this week. I know you have been waiting to see the results. The landscapers are still hard at work so our yard looks like a big mudball, and we still have a big dumpster in our front yard, but it is coming together. I think the fence in the backyard will even be finished this weekend. I guess I'll just save the outside pictures for another time, perhaps.

So anyway, what I really wanted to say was "THANK YOU" all for being so kind. I appreciate your advice and prayers so much. They really did make a difference. What a gift. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

And on that note, Grace just woke up. Gotta go!

The Dark Side

We are all moved in. Obviously. We were all moved in two Sundays ago and I had pretty much all the boxes unpacked in the first few days. We still have a garage full of things to be stored somewhere. We just aren't sure where as yet.

The house is gorgeous. A dream come true. And yet, it doesn't feel like home to me. I don't know why. It could just be my mood right now. I'm struggling. Which is why I haven't written for so long.

I feel a bit lost. I don't know if it has just been too much going on for too long without any breaks or what. But I'm feeling it. I'm afraid I'm a bit depressed. Just writing that down makes me want to cry because I feel so guilty even admitting that. What the hell do I have to be depressed about? Spoiled little brat.

I don't really have anyone to talk to. I'm kind of alone. Or at least that is how I feel. I am always the strong one. I can handle anything. I take care of everyone. But for some reason I feel I am in a hole. A big, dark hole. And no one really expects that of me. That is not who I am. Know what I mean?

Anyway.

I'm working to pull myself out of it. And until I feel a bit more like myself I am staying away from this blog. Hope you are all well.