Spring Has Sprung

The temperatures rise

Slowly, slowly the snow melts

The sun has returned

Soon, April showers

Will be bringing May flowers

Green grasses and leaves

I'm planning away

A new raised garden for me

and the kiddos too

Peas, lettuce, peppers,

Tomatoes, basil, carrots,

A pumpkin or two

A seed catalog

Keeps me busy for hours

Dreaming of summer

Sponsered by LouCeeL

Stupid March

Sponsered by LouCeeL

Gray clouds block the sun

Snow continues to cover

Dumb, cold, gloomy March

Tease us with promise

of lovely, warm springtimes past

still fresh in my mind

But this is just mean

Twenty degrees below norm

Not what I hoped for

It's snowing again

No hope of sunshine or grass

How much can I take?

I have nightmares of

Gads of dog poo piles thawing

from beneath the snow

Blanketing the yard

When spring finally does come

Horror awaits me

Stupid, stupid March

You may be on your way now.

I like you no more.

The Return of Haiku Friday

Sponsered by LouCeeL

The ick is coming

Runny nose, sore throat, fever

There is no escape

One member gets it

Then we all have to get it

A house of sickies

Two calls home from school

"Pick me up mom.  I feel sick."

Where's the Sudafed?

Oh spring won't you come?

Replace our winter sickies

With flowers in bloom

Boy or Girl?

Soon we will find out

Is baby a boy or girl?

Care to make a guess?

Our ultrasound is now a little over a week away. Of course, I've already mentioned that we will be attempting to find out the gender of our little munchkin, and I thought I'd give you all the option to make a guess on what you think baby is.

Before you go ahead and cast your vote in the poll on my sidebar you should read through this whole post so that you can make an "informed" decision.

Here is what I know:

- I've been told that I have approximately a 17% chance of having a girl. I don't know where that number came from, but it sounds about right.

- My grandma had five boys and Todd's grandma had four boys.

- I ALREADY have 3 boys, in case you forgot.

- This pregnancy has been different from my other pregnancies in that I have been much more nauseous. Super nauseous, actually. But I have also noticed that my pregnancies have gotten a bit rougher with each one.

- Baby's heartbeat at the last two appointments was 157 and 151.

- All my boys' heartbeats were in the 140 and 150 range.

- My sister is psychic and is right 99% of the time when guessing people's baby's gender (she was an OB nurse in the navy and was always right with her patients too). When I was pregnant with Joey she told me right away that he was a boy and that she saw me having 3 boys. She SWEARS this baby is a girl.

- Todd has a $100 bet going with her that she is wrong.

- Joey has been praying for a baby sister for the past year and he told me that God told him "yes".

- My biggest craving right now is fruit. Strawberries in particular.

- The Chinese Gender Predictor says that baby is a girl.

- Said predictor was right for Joey and Tommy but was wrong with Ben.

- I am carrying and showing the same way I did with all the boys.

- I have zero maternal instincts when it comes to predicting my baby's gender. Zero. I think I've thought each of my boys were going to be girls, so definitely don't ask me. I have no clue.

- I felt baby moving super early. Probably around 11 or 12 weeks. With my boys it was always around 19 or 20 weeks.

- When I did the wedding ring on a string held over my belly it didn't move at all. It was still. Same thing with the pencil over the arm. I think those tests are a load of crap. If your hand is really still the ring and pencil won't move at all. So there!

- I've much more irritable this pregnancy and my skin and hair don't look as nice either.

Okay. I think that covers it. If I missed anything ask me in the comments and I'll answer it right away. Now scoot on over and place your bets!
------------------------------------------------------------------

** Joey's teacher always tells her students, "You get what you get and you don't mind a bit" (but she says "git" so it rhymes with "bit") when she is handing out snacks and drinks. It has become a popular phrase around here, as it miraculously seems to curtail some whining.
On a recent trip to the doctor Joey was telling me that he changed his mind and wants the baby to be a boy instead of a girl now. I told him that decision is all up to God. Joey immediately said to me, "Well, I guess you get what you get and you don't mind a bit!" Haha!
Exactly, Joe!

Apparently, I Am A Masochist

What was I thinking?

I must be a masochist

Or just plain stupid

Yesterday I decided that since my nausea has finally slowed down and my neck and shoulders were feeling slightly better it might be a good idea to start an exercise routine again. You know, to make up for all the extra calories I've been eating.

When I was pregnant with Ben I continued running up until my 8th month. I would have run longer but I developed spider veins and the stinking things were actually pretty painful so I had to stop. And, if I'm being honest, I was pretty ready to stop at that point anyway. It really wasn't comfortable to run anymore and I kept picturing poor Ben bouncing around in my belly and maybe even getting tangled up in his umbilical cord.

Even so, I've really missed running these last four months. As soon as the first trimester was over, and the danger of migraines was gone, I was going to pick it up again. Well, the nausea held on longer than I thought so here I am going into the fourth month and still not running. Still, I was determined to give it a try.

You know how all the experts tell you to take it slow when you are exercising during pregnancy? Yeah. You should listen to them. Unfortunately, I didn't. I jumped on the treadmill and though I started off much slower than I have ever gone, I worked my way up to a decent speed and kept it up for a half an hour. I was so proud of myself being able to muscle through a half hour run after not having run for over 4 months.

Then later that night my muscles started to tense up. I started walking more slowly and by the time Todd came home I was sitting in the living room, not moving. He immediately said, "Now what did you do?"

It only got worse as the night went on. My whole pelvic region down to my thighs and on through my calves were so sore I could barely walk. By bedtime I was seriously considering having Todd carry me up to bed or even just sleeping on the couch. I did manage to get to bed but even rolling over to switch positions was terribly painful.

I'm an idiot.

Note to self: You are pregnant. Your muscles are more relaxed than they normally are. They are not used to running three miles anymore. Don't do this again.

I was pretty sore this morning when I got out of bed but it has gotten a little better as the day has worn on. I did some pretty good (and painful) stretches which seemed to help a bit.

Here is the funny thing. I don't even really believe the experts who say that working out during pregnancy keeps you fit or makes labor easier. Or even that it makes getting back into shape easier after you have the baby. I think that is all a load of crap. I didn't work out AT ALL when I was pregnant with Joey and I only gained 23 pounds and bounced right back into shape afterwards. I worked out all the time with Ben and gained about 40 pounds and had the longest labor of all three of my boys.

So why am I attempting to work out now? I guess I just really miss running. Every time I hear one of my running songs on the radio I can't wait to run again. I love getting my blood pumping and feeling strong and stress free after a workout. When I felt okay yesterday I thought it would be a good opportunity to try it out again. My problem is that I get so excited about running that I can't hold myself back. I need to learn my limitations. So I probably will run again, but MUCH SLOWER and for MUCH LESS time and only for a couple months. I don't feel like dealing with those spider veins again.

Then again. Maybe this was all a sign. I mean, this is my last pregnancy. Maybe I should just consider chasing after my boys exercise enough. That and maybe a lame workout DVD when the mood strikes. There will be plenty of reasons to run after the baby comes, right? Perhaps I should just ease up on myself and enjoy this slothfulness while I can. Hmm. That does sound infinitely more appealing. Yes, it does make sense. It's all coming together now...

Hoping For The Best

Oh peace come to me

On the rushing, crashing wind

Of a crisp fall day

*****

All too soon it's gone

Rich colors turning to white

Winter upon us

*****

We are making the trek up north to the in-law's cabin again this weekend. It should be interesting. The boys have been in rare form lately. Lots of fighting, whining, crying, and sassing going on. Add to that the fact that Todd and his dad will be going out scouting the woods for deer sign sans boys and you can see this could possibly be disastrous.

*

I'll try and keep them outside as much as possible but the weather is supposed to be very cold with possibilities of snow. Which I know the boys will love but probably will not be able to handle for long periods of time. We'll see.

*

Just in case, I am taking along their favorite toys, books, and movies. And despite all that may be stacked against me I am planning on having a wonderful weekend. I am even bringing some new library books up for myself to read next to the fire as the boys nap (PLEASE!).

*

Either way, you'll hear of the lovely or disastrous weekend when we get back on Sunday! Hope you all have a wonderful one!

Haiku Friday

Thanks everyone!
Your wise words and advice helped
I am less stressed now.

Feeling much better
Very calm and reassured
Home's where the heart is

So, we decided
Put in a low-ball offer
We'll see where it goes

Happy 4th of July!

The 4th of July

is one of my favorite

days of the whole year.

****

Our town goes all out.

Parades, festivals, live bands,

and huge fireworks.

****

Love showing my boys

things they haven't seen before

and fun things to try.

****

The whole day is fun

from beginning to the end.

I can't wait to start!

****

Hope everyone has

a wonderful holiday

filled with friends and fun.

Feeling Grateful

What a week it's been

Being able to enjoy

My life without pain

*****

It was like magic

Saw the chiro on Monday

Not a migraine since

*****

So much done this week

Visits with dad, errands, runs,

And of course the park

*****

Life is fun again

I finally feel like me

The weight has lifted

*****

Off to the cabin

For a weekend of play time

And family bonding

*****************************

It seems that these days
I am so melancholy
Thinking of time gone

They're growing so fast
I study their every move
Their eyes, lips, and cheeks

Funny things they say

Their tricks, their play, their laughter

Make me spill with love

These precious people
Are mine for such a short time
I must make it count
*****

Hairku

Hair, hair, everywhere

Haircuts, hairstyles, and hair-do's

So much talk of hair

*****

My hair has been blond

Black, brown, and even red too

I just can't decide

*****

Since having babies

It has gotten so curly

Straight one day, then curls

*****
I'm gonna be brave

And show you pics of hair-don'ts

Please, don't laugh too hard.

(5th grade-crazy mushroom head)

(7th grade-just call me "slick"-one of my worst pics ever-wow)

(9th grade- holy bangs!)

(10th grade- my last perm EVER! It takes up the WHOLE frame!)

*****

I like my hair long

That is when I feel my best

But then I get bored(Black)(Light Brown)

(nice bangs-again)
*****
Then, just on a whim

I'll have all my hair chopped off

At first I'll love it

(Dark Brown- short and straight)(Light brown- short and curly) (Bright Red)(Auburn-SUPER short)
*****

But it never lasts

And I'll be sick of short hair

Wishing it were long

*****

I'll start to grow it

It always takes forever

The in-between phase

(Medium Brown-no bangs!)

(Blond- scary!)

So there you have it

Me and my crazy hairstyles

What was I thinking?

*****

Okay. I think I have posted enough photos (embarrassing ones at that!) of me to last the rest of the year. Sheesh. I'm gonna have nightmares tonight. I hope you have enjoyed yourselves, laughing at my expense. If you would like to play along with the hair themed haikus go to Playgroups Are No Place For Children.

The Ups And Downs

That's the way life goes.

You have your ups and your downs.

I'll take more ups, please!

The Downs-

-After enjoying yesterday's thunderstorm I suddenly got a massive migraine. I don't know if it was the air pressure from the storm, or what, but it was a doosie. It is NO FUN taking care of 3 boys while my brains are spilling out onto the floor and I'm trying not to vomit from the pain. I went from being fun, sweet, loving mommy to psycho, don't talk to, look at, or breath in her direction, mommy. Poor boys. They had to put up with that all day. I actually told Tommy, "Tommy, if you don't shut your yipper I'm gonna karate chop your head!" Luckily he thought it was funny. Can we say, "psycho mom"?

-I have a fro. It is not pretty. I haven't cut my hair in over three months because I am growing it out but, seriously, something needs to be done. I'm beginning to look like a crazy person.

-I only ran once this week. My K-Lo bootie is getting bigger by the second. I can feel it.

The Ups

- Dad has been adjusting to the nursing home amazingly well. The beginning of the week was a bit rough. Dad was just really out of it. Barely able to walk. Didn't really know who anyone was. Now, these last few days he has been completely different. Much more lucid and cheerful. I walked into his room and he was sitting in his recliner (we brought his favorite chair from home) drinking tea and listening to music with mom. We laughed and talked and he even called me by my name. Something I haven't heard in a long time. Mom has been taking him out on car rides and trips to their favorite ice cream shops, and when they get back to the nursing home dad says, "Yep. We're home now." I think dad thinks that mom lives at the nursing home with him because she is there so much of the time. The last few days have been nothing short of a blessing. I realize he will go back and forth between horrible days, okay days, and wonderful days, but I'm willing to take them as they come. It has been so good to see him smile again.

-I have a haircut appointment for Saturday. At least I'm doing something about one of the downs!

- Yesterday's thunderstorm. Loved it! So good!


So there you have it. Not too up and not too down. Pretty even keel. And for someone like me who has recently been a freaking weeping, sobbing, emotional mess that is pretty good.

Schmoozing

Pucker up, baby!

Come on and knock me a kiss.

How can you resist?

*****

Kiss me, lil' mama!
You know you can't stay angry.
I am just too cute!

*****

Smooch me, sweetie pie!

Can't hold this pose forever.

Now is your last chance.

Getting Ready For Summer

Memorial Day
And it's time to plant flowers
Cuz here comes summer!

****

And now it begins

All the thatching and seeding

And yard work to do

****

Starting them off young

So they get used to helping

For now they love it

****

Joey always says,

"When I'm big I'LL cut the grass"

Damn skippy, lil man!

****

Then Tommy argues,

"But I get to plow the snow!"

Damn skippy, lil man!

****

For now they all rake

Which is really more like play

But cute nonetheless

****

They love to be out

Just hanging with their daddy

Soaking up the sun

****

They'll get plenty sun

At the cabin this weekend

At least 'til Sunday.

****

I hope you all have

A long relaxing weekend

Filled with warm sunshine

****

God bless you, dear Vets

And thank you for your service

This day and every

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm sharing this poem

That goes to the heart of me

Happy Mother's Day!

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e e cummings

Getting Through

the storm continues

tumultuous waters roll

so loud I can't feel

****

it fogs up my head

can't think of anything else

it is always there

****

i'm grabbing onton tight

to the lifeline that was thrown

and praying for peace

A Time To Cry

This week has been harsh
My dad is quickly slipping
Further from himself

Mom admitted it's time
She can't do it anymore
It is just too much

A home was picked out
It's the best in the county
Daddy will live there

The tears are running
One right after another
My poor dear parents

Almost 50 years
They lived and loved together
Always as best friends

My heart is breaking
This is just so difficult
To see them suffer

Some of you know that my dad has been suffering from Alzheimer's for many years now. This past week my mom finally admitted that it is time for him to go into a nursing home. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for her to form those words and let them escape her lips. She has put it off for so long. She has done more than anyone ever could especially considering she is fighting her own terminal illness. It is time.

Dad has gone missing many times. This last time he was only wearing one slipper and no jacket on a horribly cold day. His hallucinations are so frequent now that keeping him in the house is a constant battle. Even with the GPS tracking device we have attached to his pants it is difficult to keep tabs on him. My mom has to help him with all the basics. He really can not do anything on his own anymore. And just the other day he actually pushed my mom down to the floor. This is something that would literally kill him if he knew he had done it. And something tells me that this was not the first time it happened. Either way, he is not safe, mom is not safe, and it is time.

The last few days have been a flurry of phone calls, tests, signing paperwork, assessments, and heartbreak. We have found a wonderful nursing home that specializes in Alzheimer's care. We have talked with many family members of residents past and present, and all had encouraging positive comments. Still, to me, it is little comfort.

My mom has been amazingly (though not surprisingly) strong through the whole process. I think once she made the decision, and saw that all of her children were in full support of her, a weight was lifted. She put her head down and her hands together and prayed and plowed through. As always.

The night the decision was made my dad woke up at 3 A.M. (as he does each night) and told my mom she was his angel. He told her how beautiful she is and how lucky he is to have her. My mom is so used to his sweetness that she was only half listening, until he said, "You know I can't always be with you. And I want to take care of you. You need to go somewhere you can be safe even if I'm not with you." My mom couldn't believe her ears. Dad had no idea any decisions were being made about him, and yet his words were so prophetic. She was immediately comforted.

I know there will be many more difficult days ahead. It is to be expected. But I also pray that mom and dad can enjoy the time they still have together. I pray that God gives them peace, and that they can feel His presence. I pray that He has mercy on two people who have always been so faithful to Him. I pray. I pray...

Weary

Nighttime thunderstorms
Rumble through my weary mind
Keeping me awake

Thoughts wash in and out
I can't focus long enough
to clear out my head

My brain is too full
A dryer of tumbling rocks
Banging and shifting

I can't shut if off
They tumble out of my ears
Onto my pillow

Rain taps at the glass
And lulls me to sleep at last
Oh but not for long

Time Away For Good Behavior

The ladies time off,

All day and overnight too.

A gift from Todd's mom.

*****

A day of shopping,

dinner, and comedy show,

even a few drinks.

*****

Then to posh hotel,

Sleeping in and long showers.

Can't wait to relax.

*****

Todd stays with the boys,

And I'm sure they'll have fun too.

Time with just daddy.

*****

Tomorrow morning I will be heading out with my mother-in-law and my two sisters-in-law for an awesome day of shopping, restaurant hopping, a comedy show, and some relaxation at a posh hotel. It was a gift from Todd's mom to all of us girls for Christmas, and I have been looking forward to it ever since. I can't wait to go shopping where there are some decent stores. We have so few trendy clothing stores in the small town I live in, so going to a couple quality malls will be very exciting. After a day of shopping we will head back to the hotel and relax a bit, head out to dinner, eat, have some drinks, and then mosey on over to the comedy club that I used to hang out at back in my young, hip, and carefree days. Then it is back to the fabulous suite in the swanky hotel to sleep, uninterrupted, for AT LEAST eight hours. It is just so exciting!

Do I have the coolest mother-in-law, or what?

Spring, Is That You?

Shall I dare to dream?

7 to 10 predicted-

Not one snowflake fell

****

Hooray and Yippee

Maybe Spring really is here

Crossing my fingers

****

The signs are all here

Melting snow piles and blue skies

A morning dove, too

****

Can't wait to go out

The boys dressed in spring jackets

No mittens or scarves

****

Happiness awaits

With promise of warm weather

I'll share it with you.

Birthday Boy

Little Goldenbear,

So full of sweetness and love.

Today you are three!

******

My dear, sweetest golden bear, Tommy. Today is your 3rd birthday, and I am so excited for you. Excited that you get to have a day that is all about you. A day for everyone to lavish you with the attention and praise you deserve. To celebrate your entrance into this world as the blessed, glorious gift that it was and is. But I am also excited for you because I think your 3rd year will bring many special gifts to you. Soon you will start preschool and you will begin to see you are a wonderful, amazing boy all on your own. You will begin to discover all the things I already know and love about you. You will make friends that are all your own. You will discover talents that are all your own.

Perhaps you will find out what a humorous little man you are. How you can make people laugh with little effort. Maybe you will discover what an athletic boy you are. Quick and agile and very competitive. Or you might even see what a tender heart you are. How quick you are to comfort someone and offer encouraging words and your fabulous hugs. You’ll see how kind you are by how quickly you will make friends. You will discover what a wonderful person you are, and I can’t wait to watch.

You are a precious gift to me, Thomas. You walk into the room and light up every corner. You smile at me and no matter what kind of mood I am in I can’t help but smile back. You fit perfectly on my lap and wrap your little fingers around my hand. You lean your face toward me, blue eyes shining, and you melt me with your smile and fill me with love. I lock that image of us in my heart as one of my most precious. You are goodness personified. You are the realization of a dream I never even knew I had. You are my compassionate buddy. My snuggler. My nature and animal lover. My energetic, rough and tumbler sports fan. My dramatic and emotional boy. You are the child after my own heart.

I love you, Thomas. I am so proud of the boy you are. Always remember that no matter how big you get you will always be my Goldenbear, my baby.

Happy Birthday, Thomas!