My Shadow

It doesn't take long before it begins.  

I am on my early morning run.  It is hovering just over 80 degrees, heavy on the humidity.  My legs feel strong.  My shoulders are loose.  I take deep, even breaths. As I take off down my street I almost feel like I do in my reoccurring dream, lightening fast, strong, ready to fly.  

I settle into my music and the clutter filling up my day falls away.  I watch two squirrels running across the road, fighting as they go.  A cardinal dashes by me and I dodge a wasp heading right for my leg. I watch the construction crew working on the house down the street, and the man watering his lawn, and the dog who watches me.

I check my pace at the mile marker and I'm impressed.  Faster than I normally go.  And in this heat. Nice.

Then it begins.  "You're running much faster. You are going to tire sooner. You are probably getting tired already. You are not built for speed. You're going to have to walk soon. See how hard you are puffing now?" My brain is working overtime to get my body to stop.  

I spot my negative trend and try to turn it around. I even out my breathing again and make sure to keep the same pace I had on the first mile. I tune back into my music and run on. 

"Brave" comes on my iPod and I feel my pace quicken even more. I think about how I want my children be brave. Attack life head on with wild abandon. Live without fears holding them back. Put everything they've got into what they want. I want that for them. And for me.

"The wind is really picking up now. That always wears you out. This is a big hill coming up, maybe after that you'll have to walk.  You haven't had enough water for this heat and you don't want to get a migraine." My brain warns.

I physically shake my head to snap these negatives loose. Why is it that I can be everyone else's cheerleader but my own?

I feel myself begin to tire.  I feel sluggish.  Knowing my brain is winning this battle I run through my checklist.  

My legs still feel strong. My shoulders are loose. My breathing is even. My back feels good. I'm okay. I can do this. 

"You're not tired. You're doing great! You are getting stronger. You can do this!" I chant to myself.

Before my brain can interrupt I catch my shadow out of the corner of my eye. 

"Is that me?" my brain asks. "Is that what I look like?" 

My shadow doesn't look tired. My shadow looks strong. My shadow looks powerful. My shadow looks brave. My shadow looks fast and free. My shadow looks like me.  

I put my head down and barrel through. I can do it. Faster and longer than I have before.

I get out of my head, turn off my brain, and just go.

I can be brave too.

Finding Me

On this very day last year I was unpacking all of our belongings into our new house.  It was windy, cold, and rainy outside and empty, bare, and too new on the inside.  I was feeling pretty sad despite the fact that we had just moved into our dream home.

Today the weather has been hovering around 70 degrees with plenty of sunshine and a beautiful, warm wind.  There are curtains on my windows.  Artwork on my walls.  The house has been better than I could have ever dreamed.  The kiddos are happy.  The husband is doing well.  And yet I feel like a zombie these past few weeks just going through life, but not really enjoying. 

I love fall.  Not quite as much as summer, but very close.  The warm golden, rusty colors of the leaves.  The musty smells in the air.  Cool crisp nights.  Baking cookies and making soups.  Decorating the house with massive amounts of scarecrows and ghosts.  I love it all.  So why aren't I able to enjoy it this year?

I get why last year was tough.  I was really missing my dad.  The move was rough.  Life with a newborn is never easy.  The weather was lousy.  What's my excuse this time?

It's not like I haven't been trying.

Perhaps it is the constant motion.  Running from one thing to the next to the next.  Never really being able to enjoy the moment.  It has been crazy busy.  But is that really the reason?

I think I've just been feeling lost.  Lost in the shuffle.  I've been so busy trying to get everything done for everyone else I forgot about myself.  I haven't been reading.  Who has time for that?  I haven't been running.  When could I fit that in?  The only time I have been getting for myself is an hour or so at night when I sit down with a cocktail and watch some pointless tv.  And that can't be it.  While I do enjoy it, that can not be all I give to myself.  I need a little more.  Perhaps something that makes me feel a little less like a slug and maybe even makes me feel good about myself. 

I know what the answer is.  It's just making myself do it.

When Todd came home for lunch today and told me that he didn't have to be back at the office right away I saw an opportunity.  I threw on my running clothes and took off out of the house.  I haven't run in months so I knew it wasn't going to be easy.  Add to that the fact that the wind was gusting 30-40 mph and it was an uphill battle.  My legs felt strong but I struggled for breath almost the entire way.  A few times I thought I was going to vomit.  But I didn't stop.  I kept going.  Watching The Biggest Loser last night gave me the push I needed to push myself.  And you know what?  I didn't vomit.  Or pass out.  Or get a migraine.  I made it.  And after the run I felt better.  Better than I have in weeks. 

I only went two miles but it was still an accomplishment.  It was a start.  It is not so much about shedding these last 10 pounds I've been hanging onto.  It is more about knowing what I need to feel like me again.    Knowing what makes me happy and actually making time to do it.  I never thought I really needed something like this, but I guess we all do. 

I think it is going to be a beautiful fall.  

Apparently, I Am A Masochist

What was I thinking?

I must be a masochist

Or just plain stupid

Yesterday I decided that since my nausea has finally slowed down and my neck and shoulders were feeling slightly better it might be a good idea to start an exercise routine again. You know, to make up for all the extra calories I've been eating.

When I was pregnant with Ben I continued running up until my 8th month. I would have run longer but I developed spider veins and the stinking things were actually pretty painful so I had to stop. And, if I'm being honest, I was pretty ready to stop at that point anyway. It really wasn't comfortable to run anymore and I kept picturing poor Ben bouncing around in my belly and maybe even getting tangled up in his umbilical cord.

Even so, I've really missed running these last four months. As soon as the first trimester was over, and the danger of migraines was gone, I was going to pick it up again. Well, the nausea held on longer than I thought so here I am going into the fourth month and still not running. Still, I was determined to give it a try.

You know how all the experts tell you to take it slow when you are exercising during pregnancy? Yeah. You should listen to them. Unfortunately, I didn't. I jumped on the treadmill and though I started off much slower than I have ever gone, I worked my way up to a decent speed and kept it up for a half an hour. I was so proud of myself being able to muscle through a half hour run after not having run for over 4 months.

Then later that night my muscles started to tense up. I started walking more slowly and by the time Todd came home I was sitting in the living room, not moving. He immediately said, "Now what did you do?"

It only got worse as the night went on. My whole pelvic region down to my thighs and on through my calves were so sore I could barely walk. By bedtime I was seriously considering having Todd carry me up to bed or even just sleeping on the couch. I did manage to get to bed but even rolling over to switch positions was terribly painful.

I'm an idiot.

Note to self: You are pregnant. Your muscles are more relaxed than they normally are. They are not used to running three miles anymore. Don't do this again.

I was pretty sore this morning when I got out of bed but it has gotten a little better as the day has worn on. I did some pretty good (and painful) stretches which seemed to help a bit.

Here is the funny thing. I don't even really believe the experts who say that working out during pregnancy keeps you fit or makes labor easier. Or even that it makes getting back into shape easier after you have the baby. I think that is all a load of crap. I didn't work out AT ALL when I was pregnant with Joey and I only gained 23 pounds and bounced right back into shape afterwards. I worked out all the time with Ben and gained about 40 pounds and had the longest labor of all three of my boys.

So why am I attempting to work out now? I guess I just really miss running. Every time I hear one of my running songs on the radio I can't wait to run again. I love getting my blood pumping and feeling strong and stress free after a workout. When I felt okay yesterday I thought it would be a good opportunity to try it out again. My problem is that I get so excited about running that I can't hold myself back. I need to learn my limitations. So I probably will run again, but MUCH SLOWER and for MUCH LESS time and only for a couple months. I don't feel like dealing with those spider veins again.

Then again. Maybe this was all a sign. I mean, this is my last pregnancy. Maybe I should just consider chasing after my boys exercise enough. That and maybe a lame workout DVD when the mood strikes. There will be plenty of reasons to run after the baby comes, right? Perhaps I should just ease up on myself and enjoy this slothfulness while I can. Hmm. That does sound infinitely more appealing. Yes, it does make sense. It's all coming together now...

Down For The Count

I hurt my knee again. AGAIN! One week before I'm supposed to run my 10K. WHY??? I have no idea how I injured it this time. I suppose it could have still been touchy since the last time I injured it. I don't know, but it really hurts.

I know it isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it pisses me off. I don't often get to compete in 10K races because I am always pregnant or nursing, so when I finally do get in shape again and all the cards fall in to place I want to take advantage when I can. This just sucks. I am really pissed. The last time I hurt my knee I had to stop running for a month before it healed. Did I mention that I am a little pissed about this? Suckity, suck, suck, suckage.

I know I haven't been around to your blogs much lately. I beg you to be patient with me. It has been craziness around here. And now on top of everything else I have to keep my knee iced and elevated so that there is a snowball's chance in hell I might be able to run next week. Unfortunately, my friggin granny knee hurts just sitting at this desk (WHY don't I have a LAPTOP???????) so I have to get back to my couch. I promise I will be around to see you all soon. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon- and for the rest of your life."* Oh wait, what?

In the meantime, keep your fingers crossed that I'm just down and not out.

-I think I'm done whining now.
-Sorry.



*Casablanca, people! Sheesh.

TT- Running Tips for Beginners

I was so excited by the response from my running post last week, and all of the emails I received asking questions, that I decided I had a bit more to say on the subject. Things that I found to be helpful to me that would maybe help you out on your attempt to love running. And please, if you have any more questions feel free to leave it in the comments or send me an email.

1- Shoes- Having shoes that fit well and give you proper support is very important. I know there are stores that actually help fit you into the right shoe for running, but being the cheapskate that I am I usually just go to Kohl's when they have huge sales. I got my last pair of Nike's on sale for $40 down from $70. Very exciting. Adidas and Asics also have some great running shoes. If you feel you need outside help from a salesperson that is probably the best way to ensure a proper fit, but I just try on the shoes (both of them) and see how they feel. I walk around the store for a while and make sure my arch (I have a very big arch) is supported, that they are snug but not too snug, and that nothing is rubbing on my toes, ankles or heels. I can always tell when it is time to buy a knew pair of running shoes because my shins and ankles get sore after every run.

2- Clothes- It takes a while to find clothes that you are comfortable running in. When I first started running I went out and bought these running shorts that were made out of a windbreaker type material. I was so excited to try them out and when I did I hated them. As I ran my thighs rubbed together (there! you caught me! my thighs touch. dammit) and the material gathered and inched upward leaving an upside down V at the hem of my shorts in between my legs. I felt like an idiot AND the material chaffed my legs. I kept pulling at them the whole run and it was so distracting. After that I switched to spandex (I know, I know) and there was no slippage. I wore an extra long tee shirt to cover my K-Lo caboose and have been happier ever since. Each person is different and you have to find the clothes that make you comfortable. Even your socks can make a difference as I've found thinner socks work much better than thicker socks for me.

3- Sports Bras- Speaking of clothing, let's talk about sports bras. I've been asked by quite a few people what is recommended for big breasted women who want to try running. Not like I'd know personally (double dammit). I definitely do not have to worry about that. But a few of my friends are very well endowed and when they run they wear two or three sports bras at a time and found it works great. I actually wore two sports bras when I ran while I was still breastfeeding and it truly did help. If that doesn't work, um, try duct tape?

4- Water & Food- Drinking enough water is crucial. If I don't drink enough water I get really itchy legs and sometimes even migraines. On a day you know you will be running try drinking water regularly throughout the day. When you get closer to the run slow down on the water. Every time I try to make up a water deficit right before I run I get a major gut ache.
It is very important to eat well when you are running. Some people want to cut out carbs while they are running but I always find I don't have any energy if I don't have some carbs before a run. Go for the healthy carbs. Whole wheat toast with peanut butter is a good one but the best food for running is a banana. It is said that a banana can sustain you through a one hour workout or run. Try not to eat too close to the time you are going to run. I eat an hour or two before I run.

5- Posture- Try not to lean your upper body over your knees as you run. You want to keep a fairly straight posture. Running up a steep hill is the only time I allow myself to lean a bit. Too much leaning forward not only indicates that you are super tired, but it can give you a backache too. If your nose could cross a finish line before the rest of your body it means you either have a huge nose, like me, or you are leaning way too far forward. Think straight.
Also, when you plant your foot on the ground you want to set it down heel to toe. Heel toe, heel toe. Your foot should not make slapping or stomping noises when you run. It should be fairly quiet. Placing your foot heel to toe puts the least amount of strain on your knees and joints.

6- Clock Watching- We've all heard about the watched pot. And it is true. When I am on the treadmill I always cover up the faceplate with a towel so I am not constantly watching the clock. I learned pretty quickly that watching the clock makes the run feel like forever. Ten seconds feels like a minute. The same is true when I run outside. I wear a watch to time myself but I don't look at it until I get to my mile markers. If I am on the treadmill I have the TV on to pass the time. If I am outside I look at the houses, the cars, the lake, the trees, and the people to distract myself. Much better than watching the clock.

7- Weather- I love running outside. The time seems to pass so much more quickly when I'm outside then when I'm on the treadmill. I used to feel the opposite because when you run outside you are contending with the weather. And here in Wisconsin we get all kinds. Hot, humid, cold, rainy, snow, sun, windy. You name it. Running outside always added another level of difficulty for me but once I really gave it a good try it really was much more enjoyable for me. The one thing that I can't live without when I am running outside is a baseball hat. It not only keeps my hair out of my face and off my neck but it shields my eyes from the sun and rain and soaks up the sweat that otherwise runs into my eyes. I can never keep my sunglasses on when I run and tire of pushing them up my nose every 5 seconds so the baseball hat is a lifesaver.

8- Warm up & Cool downs - Many of you have asked me if I have warm up exercises that I do before I run. I really don't. I was taught to warm up into the run. Meaning, you start out jogging slowly and then work up to a decent paced run. Jogging is a sort of warm up in itself so I have never really stretched much before a run. It may not be what a trainer would recommend, but it works for me.
I have found that the cool down is an absolute must for me. Never finish a run and plop yourself down in the grass to catch your breath. Todd warned me of this many times and told me of the importance of a 5 minute cool down but I didn't listen. I would run for 30-40 minutes and then just walk in the house and sit down. Every time I did that the same night I would feel like I was getting the flu. My muscles ached and I was chilled to the bone. Todd kept telling me that my muscles didn't have a good cool down and that is why I felt so crappy. Finally I decided to listen and after every run I would walk for 5 minutes. I've never had that same cold achy feeling after a run again. I HIGHLY recommend walking at a decent pace for at least 4-5 minutes after each run.

9- Traffic- When you are running outside you have to be very aware of the cars on the road. Some drivers seem to be completely oblivious of runners. You need to watch out for them because they may not be watching out for you. And just because a car has it's turning signal on doesn't mean they will turn. I have almost been hit crossing the street a number of times. If you must run in the road run on the side of the oncoming traffic. That way you will see the cars that are closest to you much sooner than if they were coming from behind you.

10- Dogs- I love dogs. But when I'm running, not so much. It seems that when dogs see someone running their natural instinct is to chase. Even the friendly dogs. But it is a distraction whether the dog is friendly or not. I have been nipped at by three or four small dogs (they seem to be the sassiest) and have learned to cross the street (even though one dog followed me across the street) every time I see a dog to hopefully avoid any kind of interaction. It usually works.

-Quick story. Todd was running down the street (he always runs in the road) one morning when out of the corner of his eye he saw a pit bull come tearing out of a yard and begin chasing him down the middle of the road. Without thinking Todd turned around and began running top speed at the pit bull, growling and barking. Luckily, Todd was scarier than the pit bull and the dog skidded backwards and took off down the road in the opposite direction. I think if it would have been me I would have peed my pants and probably been a goner. A teenager and her mom were coming out of the church across the street and saw the whole thing. The teenager said to Todd, "That was the coolest thing I've ever seen!"

11- Pain- If you are going to be a runner you need to learn to think past the pain. There will be pain. There will be cramps, gut aches, feelings of heaviness, shoulder tightness, and all kinds of pain. Running is a sport of mental toughness. It is all about pushing yourself. I didn't become a runner until I learned that. Instead I would always give up and start walking the minute I felt pain. If I got a gut ache I would stop running and walk. Once I learned to push myself I found out that the gut ache goes away if you run just a few more minutes. If you get a gut ache after 4 minutes of running and always stop running to walk you will ALWAYS get a gut ache 4 minutes into the run because your body has never been pushed further. Try running through the gut ache and next time you may not get it at the 4 minute mark. Maybe you'll get it at 10 minutes. Or maybe not at all. Push, push, push yourself. That is also why it is important to start slowly. You can't go from not running at all to expecting yourself to run 3 miles. That is not only unrealistic, it is dangerous. If you work up to it slowly your body will be able to adjust better and have less recoup time. Be smart about the pain. You know the difference between pushing yourself through manageable pain and pushing yourself through pain that could cause damage (a pulled muscle or something).

12- Music- I honestly can not run as well without music. Listening to music gets me pumped up and gives me so much more energy when I am struggling through the last mile of a run. I have an iPod shuffle that clips on to my waistband and the earplugs actually stay in really well while I run. I am so grateful for that iPod. It is my running lifesaver.
I am very choosy about the music I listen to when I'm running. Nothing slow or relaxing. I listen to fast-paced music that makes me feel excited, angry, or scared. I know that sounds funny but I run really well when I am ticked off or freaked out. I also listen to music that maybe I normally wouldn't listen too. For instance, Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson. That song scares the crap out of me and it makes me run super fast just to get the song over with. It makes me feel like I'm being chased. Or Still of the Night by Whitesnake (although I do actually like Whitesnake). The drum beats and his voice just sound angry to me. It pumps me up. Then there are the songs that I love listening to no matter where I am. Even if I hear them in the car they get me excited and make me feel like running. Stronger by Kayne West, Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm, Intergalactic by Beastie Boys, Loose Control by Missy Elliot, The Way I Are by Timbaland, Survivor by Destiny's Child, Let's Go Crazy by Prince, are all on my iPod in the first 40 minutes. Anything with a good fast drum beat or a quick rhythms really help me run. The only thing I have to worry about is keeping myself from dancing while I'm running. I've been known to throw a few head nods here and there and swing my arms around to a good song. I probably look pretty crazy sometimes. It reminds me of how Phoebe ran through Central Park in that one Friends episode.

13- Inspiration- There will always be times when you don't feel like running. Whether it is while your are running or when you are trying to get up the gumption to get out and go for your run that day. It can be tough to keep going sometimes. You need inspiration. It can be anything that makes you feel strong enough to get up and go instead of taking a nap on the couch. I have many different things I think about to motivate me. Yesterday during my run on the treadmill I was just so bored and so not into it but I thought about my dad. I thought about what a great runner he was and how much he loved sports and being active. He would give anything to be able to run again. It was enough to push me through the rest of the run and I went much farther than I thought could.
Todd remembers being inspired during a marathon when around mile 18 he looked over to the side of the street where people were standing cheering the runners on. He saw a little boy with severe disabilities sitting in a wheelchair smiling and clapping for the runners. He was so choked up but it gave him the extra boost to finish the marathon with gusto.
Or how about this story? This is so amazing and inspiring it takes my breath away. It makes me think that if someone can do something like that then I certainly can finish up a measly little 4 mile run.
But I'll admit sometimes my thoughts are much shallower than that. Sometimes picturing me looking good (or even acceptable) in a swimsuit for an upcoming vacation is enough to make me continue on during a painful run. Shallow? Yes. But, hey, sometimes it works.
Whatever your inspiration you need to use it to help you push through those difficult times. The times when you just want to skip running for the day. Use that inspiration to push yourself to the next level.


(So there you have it. Again, these are all very basic things that have helped me. I am by no means a professional runner, or a nutritionist, or a trainer. I am just a regular person who used to hate running and who now loves it and uses it for stress relief, exercise, and my overall health. This may not work for everyone, but it has helped me. Of course you should always check with your doctor before you begin a new workout routine.)

Running For Beginners

You asked. And now you're getting it. This is the post I tell you how I went from hating running to loving running. It wasn't easy. It was a long road. But I am so glad I finally gave in.

I am an athletic person to begin with. I have played so many sports in my life. Namely basketball for 8 years, softball for a few years, and was on swim team, and dance team. I love competing. It is actually one of my faults. I can be way too competitive.

Running for pleasure always seemed pointless to me. In my early twenties I hadn't yet gotten to the point in my life where I had to exercise in order to stay thin (oh youth! come back!), nor did I take any pleasure in running. I tried it a number of times and always gave up. If it wasn't for competition I just didn't see the appeal.

Then I had Tommy. The baby weight just wasn't coming off as easily as it had with Joey. The weight stubbornly stayed put. I was at a loss. I was eating well and chasing after two boys and still the weight held on. I was feeling so uncomfortable in my body that I was willing to try just about anything.

Todd has been a runner since the summer before his senior year in high school when he became fed up with being overweight and decided to do something about it. When he saw how quickly the weight came off with running he was hooked for life. He loves running and does it everyday. He has run a few marathons and always crosses the finish line looking like he just took a jog around the block.

He had tried before to get me to run with him and I would give it a lame attempt and then give up. When he heard me wailing about my stuck on baby weight he thought he would broach the subject again. Todd told me that it takes most people three to four weeks to really begin to enjoy running and that if I could stick it out that long not only would I begin to see the weight come off but I would start enjoying it as well. He stressed how important it was for me to begin slowly. This was crucial for me to hear because not only was I breastfeeding at the time but Todd also knows that I always feel I need to be perfect at everything right away. If I was going to run I wanted to go far and fast right away. He kept telling me over and over again that I COULDN'T start out that way because of the possibility of injury and stress on my body. That was important for me to hear because it took some of the pressure off to be good right away.

I started out slowly. Very slowly. The first day I ran for a block and walked for a block, ran for a block and walked for a block, the whole 20 minutes. When I came back home I felt like such a wimp. Todd told me what a great job I did and that in football they did interval training like that. He was smart to call it interval training and not catching my breath like it really was. It made me feel less like a wimp.

The next run I did the same thing. Only this time I would try to run for a block and a half and walk for a half a block. Sometimes I could do it and other times I had to walk for a whole block. But I knew for sure that I had run more than I did the first day.

Every time I ran I tried to increase my running and decrease my walking. By the end of two weeks I was walking once during a 20 minute run. By the end of the month I could run for a full 20 minutes and I had already lost 5 pounds. And you know what? I was hooked. Running had become enjoyable. Especially after I found I could fit into my prepregnancy jeans.

Winter came and we bought a treadmill. I would run while the boys were napping. I would have the television on and push myself to get to the commercials. Then when the commercials came on I would push myself to get through the commercials. If I had made it through the commercials without passing out I would see if I could make it to the next set of commercials. It was all about pushing myself to do more. A few more months and I was running for 35 to 40 minutes each run.

Running is such a mental sport. And though I wasn't really competing against anyone I did feel my competitive side kicking in. It was almost as though I was competing with myself. Always seeing if I could best myself.

When spring had rolled around again Todd and I went to Mexico for our anniversary. I was shocked to find that after having two children I weighed less than I did when we had last gone there for our honeymoon. Actually, I was the same weight I was my senior year in high school. I couldn't believe it. Once you see results like that it is hard not to keep running. I had been hoping to get back into shape but never expected results like these.

I also hadn't expected the high I always got from running. When I come back from a run I feel like a new person. I feel like I can handle anything. I am so much more patient and calm with the boys. It is the best stress reliever there is. When my mind is jumbled with problems and obstacles a run is the best thing for me. It really clears out my head. I always seem to do my best thinking (and write the best posts- only to be forgotten when I get home) when I'm running.

I'm still running now though I'm not as thin as I was on that trip to Mexico. I am about 6 pounds from that goal but I am happy with they way I am. I have had quite a bit of time off from running the past few months because of injuring my knee and all the migraines I'd been having. But I'm getting there.

So, that is my story. Slow and steady basically sums me up. I am not a fabulous runner. I don't do marathons or half marathons and don't really have any desire at this point. I've done three 10K races so far and will probably do more.

Want to give it a try? Here are my helpful starting tips:

- Start very, very slowly.
- Only run every other day to begin with. Your body will need recoup days. Once you really are feeling fit you can run more often.
- You will have good days and bad days. Some days I run 5-6 miles no problem. The next day I might struggle getting through 2 miles. Allow yourself some bad days and keep going.
- Drink water. Lots of water. But not too much water. You can get gut aches from too much water right before your run. As you go you'll learn how much your body needs.
- Eat well. Running takes a lot of fuel.
- Bananas are amazing for running. It is said that one banana can sustain you through an hour long run. Eat a banana an hour or so before you run.
- If you have an iPod Shuffle use it for running. I do SO MUCH BETTER when I run with my music. It really pumps me up.
- I like to run alone (it is the only alone time I get!) but some people find it easier to run with a partner.
- No excuses. I used to try running every once in a while and then give up because I got a gut ache, ear aches from the wind, my legs were itching, my lungs hurt, etc. You need to learn how to push your body. Push yourself. I learned my gut aches went away when I kept running. I wore a headband over my ears on windy days. I drank more water to prevent my itchy leg syndrome. My lungs adjusted. Don't give up. Keep pushing.
- Give yourself at least a month to get into it.
- Don't be too hard on yourself.


(This post is meant to explain how I got into running. It may not work this way for everyone. So, I don't want to get any emails from all you professional runners out there telling me how I'm wrong. This is not for professional runners. Just the folks who always thought they hated running and want to give it one more try.)

Shape Up, Woman!

It has been almost three months since I last ran. I decided it was not wise to run on icy sidewalks/roads when I slipped on the ice and almost broke my butt at the end of December. I kept telling myself that I would run as soon as the weather warmed up a bit, and the ice melted. So I waited for the temps to rise. And I waited. And then I waited some more. Needless to say it didn't happen. The sidewalks and roads remained ice covered for longer than I'd like to recall. And while I waited in vain the K-Lo bootie got bigger. And bigger. And Bigger. Something had to be done.

To be honest the weather should not have been an excuse. I have a fabulous treadmill just waiting to be used in the basement. The problem? Motivation, of course. The treadmill is in a yucky, dark part of the basement surrounded by storage boxes and facing a wall. It is just not the same as running outside in fresh air with beautiful Lake Michigan as my backdrop. Basically, when I run on the treadmill I am staring at this for 30-40 minutes:
This view does nothing to help me pass the time as I struggle, wheeze, and drag myself to a healthier me. Add this to the fact that I have to squeeze my runs (and shower) into a 1 hour window of time when all of the boys are napping, and you can see why I just happened to miss out on this fun for the past three months.
Now that the weather has been warming up a smidgen I have gotten the push I need to get back on the horse, so to speak. Yesterday I decided enough was enough and I took the first step to getting back in shape. It was not easy. I looked like this after the 25 minute run:

That is me trying to suck some air out of the little fan on the treadmill. Sure the fan was clouded with all the dust from the construction project 2 months ago, but I didn't care. At this point, air is air, and I needed some.

Even though the whole run was a struggle I was proud of myself for doing it. The first step is always the hardest. And it may take a little time, but it will get easier. So I'm telling myself.

Of course, getting out of bed this morning may have been the worst part. My body aches as though I have never exercised a day in my life. I had to roll off of my bed in order to get out. Walking down the stairs holding Ben took enormous amounts of concentration. Even my neck muscles are sore. Who knew you used your neck to run? Hmphf. As sore as I am it feels good. A good kind of sore, if there is a good kind of sore, because I took the first step to getting back to me. And, I've missed me.

Turkey Hangover

I planned on posting a Thanksgiving message yesterday wishing you all more blessings than you can count. But, I didn't.

Instead, I got up and ran a 10K race in snow and 29 degree weather. I am happy to say that I achieved my goal and did not come in last.


After that, I went home, jumped in the shower, and ran over to my sister-in-law's house to celebrate Thanksgiving and my mother-in-law's birthday. I ate a ton of food without guilt (thanks to the run), played with the kiddies, and watched my Packers trounce the Lions. Much fun was had.

Then we packed up the kiddies, drove them home, dealt with meltdowns (because of missed naps) for the two hours before bedtime, finally got the boys to bed, and then I marched over to the computer to write my post like a good little blogger. Unfortunately, the computer was running REALLY slowly, and then completely locked up. I was too tired from the run, the Tryptophan, and lack of sleep the night before, to attempt to fix said computer. Instead I crashed on the couch and tried to watch Grey's Anatomy without falling asleep.

So, now that I have had a few hours of sleep, hubby has temporarily fixed the computer, and the boys are semi-calm, I would love to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving with more blessings than you can count.

I still feel so full,

Someone roll me off the couch.

No time to relax.

Make room for more food,

Tomorrow another feast.

Thanksgiving at mom's.

Thankful for family,

My home, my friends, and my health.

I know I am blessed.