I take my book and my music out on the back patio to try and soak up a little sun and solace. I am having a hard time concentrating on my book with the constant activity flitting around me. Birds zip in and out at the feeders and bird bath. Airplanes fly overhead taking in the lake's coastline on their way to the major golf event in our area. A plethora of dragonflies and butterflies dip and zip and flutter over the flowers next to me.
Soaking in all this beauty a feeling of melancholy splashed over me in a big wave. I'm not sure where this sadness comes from but it leaves me soaked. I find myself missing the present that isn't even the past yet.
I look back on the past few months of summer and wonder where the time went. How is it possible that this golden summer has passed us by so quickly? How many more summers will we have like this one? My kids are not exactly "little" kids anymore. Thinking of how quickly they are growing leaves me aching inside. I want more summers like this one. Many, many more.
Not that summer was filled with nonstop laughter and fun and smiles. There were definitely times this summer when I would angrily think to myself, "I can't wait for school to start!" Though most times, even though I was thinking it, I wasn't feeling it. Even though I was at my wit's end, and I had had enough of the fighting and whining, I still wanted our summer to last forever. Deep down I don't ever want school to start.
Still, we spent these last weeks trying to eke out as much of what's left of summer as we could.
We do things we've never done before. We go to a balloon festival, the kids and I. We watch as the balloons fill up with warm air, getting big and puffy and straining at the seams. They pull at their ropes that tie them down, aching to make their escape to the sky. Huge blasts of fire light up the balloons and we ooh and ahh. We are disappointed to learn that the balloons will not be taking off into the air. It is more like a lantern show. The balloons lighting up with each countdown.
We walk right next to the balloons on the way to our car, the massive, colorful creatures looming over the top of us as we leave. More fire is shot into the balloons lighting them up and casting a warm glow. I can't help but think that this send off is far better than watching them take to the air until they shrink out of site. It's best to have big, bright, vivid, warm memories to recall.