Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Nerves

I didn't sleep much last night. I'm all tied in knots. I feel sick to my stomach and I've given myself a headache. 

Ahh... the first day of school.

Probably not the typical parent's reaction but it is how I feel none the less.

The kids waffled between excited and disgusted that they had to go back to school. The boys' school just switched to uniforms this year and I thought they looked so handsome. When I told Tommy that his shirt needed to be tucked in his response was, "What is HAPPENING to our school??!!??" It was just the laugh I needed.

Grace is going to a different school this year. The boys' school stopped offering a half day option for kindergarten so we are sending her to the school down the road from us for half days. I know most people have no problem with full day kindergarten but it just seems like such a long day to me. Especially to my super shy girl who JUST turned 5, still takes naps, and had a hard enough time with the three days a week she went to school last year. I understand it works out great if both parents work but for this stay at home mom it just doesn't make any sense.

Still, it is making me kinda sick. The second guessing myself. Apparently, Grace is one of the only kids to do the half day program at the school (and the only kid in her class). I just don't want her to feel different.

And watching her in her new classroom was pretty heartbreaking. She looked so nervous. She was trying so hard to be brave. Makes me cry just thinking about it.  
  
Stupid school.

Why can't I just keep them here with me?

*sigh*

Obligatory 1st Day of School Picture
 Tell me how you really feel about school, kids.

My fabulous quartet. Now in sixth grade, fourth grade, second grade, and kindergarten.

Dear God in heaven,
please be with my children as they start a new year.
Help them to work hard and do their best.
Keep them safe, happy, and healthy.
Give them a love for learning.
Help them to grow in confidence and independence. 
Show them how to be compassionate.
Let them be a friend to all, kind, and loving.
Let their failures motivate them to try harder.
Let their successes humble them.
Help me, Lord, to be patient, understanding, loving, and wise
in guiding them through this school year.
Be with my children, Lord.
Let your light shine in them and through them
and keep them close to You.

Amen

13 comments:

betty said...

I think you were wise to do the half day for Grace, Kat. Its too long of a day for kids that age, in my opinion. My niece sends her kids to a Christian school; for kindergarten they do half days for the first semester, but I think February they transition them to all day, which I think is reasonable. Gives the kids a few months to get used to school and then transition them to more school hours.

So cute with their pictures! I hope they have a good first day; I always wondered how all was going on their first days back. You'll have lots of stories I'm sure to hear this afternoon :)

Amen to your prayer!

betty

Kat said...

Thanks, Betty.
The way I see it, kids have to go to school for long enough. The way school is starting earlier and earlier and getting longer. Ugh. I'm sure many kids do fine with it but it seems like a "what for?" to me. Studies show that kids who do full day kindergarten are no further ahead of kids who do half day. And the kids lie down in the afternoon and then have gym or art or computers. It almost seems more of a daycare kind of thing. Which is fine for people who need the daycare, but we don't.
The problem is that the schools don't advertise the half day anymore so parents don't even know it is an option. That is why Grace is the only one in her class to do it. A handful of parents said they would have done that had they known. And like I said, I just don't want her to feel different being the only one picked up at lunchtime.
Hopefully I am stressing out for nothing and she won't even remember much about kindergarten when she is older. ;)

Bijoux said...

They recently started full day kindergarten here. I would not have liked that for my kids either. It's just too much at that age!

MamaB said...

I'm so jealous that Grace got to start Kindergarten. Here in Missouri the cut off is August 1st and Jillian's b-day is Aug 10th no exceptions. So another year of pre-K. We have whole day Kindergarten and when Amelia went she would fall asleep in music class or in the car for the first month!!

Kat said...

MamaB- I think Grace just barely made the cutoff here.
All my kids napped all throughout kindergarten. Tommy HATED naps. He hates sleep in general so I assumed that he would be fine moving to all day school. On the first day of first grade he told me it was the best day ever and that he had been waiting his whole life for this (when he could go to school all day and NO NAPS). The first week he did great. But then for the next 4 months he called home from the office almost every day in tears because he said he wasn't feeling good and wanted to come home. I had to explain over and over again that he was just tired and that his body was adjusting. Poor kiddo. We even had him in bed before 8 every night and he was still so tired. So much for him not needing naps! ;)

Tabor said...

Each child is different. If she tells you she wants to go all day later in the year, you could probably do that. It is so natural to want to be protective of these little ones as they grow and move on in the world. Now is time for you to be thinking about how you want to fill that time when they are all gone all day...!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

I think you did the right thing for Grace from what you described. They all look so big in their first-day photo!

Mom24 said...

Please tell me Blogger didn't eat my comment. :/

Mom24 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mom24 said...

Great, two of those and none of my original comment. Awesome.

Anywho...

Thank you! I'm so tired of the Yippee! I'm free! Facebook posts. I miss my kids terribly. I wish summer weren't over. It's not perfect, but I love having my kids here and I would choose it any day.

I think you did the right thing with Grace. Half day will be fine. I'm not a fan of full day kindergarten.

I'll be thinking of you.

((((hugs)))

Wisconsin Girl said...

Trust that you are making the right decisions for your family and children, even if the decision is different from mainstream. You are a great mom! It is a joy to watch your family adventures and growth through your blog. Hope all of your kiddos have a great first week back at school.

Verna Lantz said...

Her's to a wonderful year!! Such an adorable bunch. Enjoy your "quiet" time.

Scrappy said...

I was just going through my blog and came across a comment from you. I thought I'd come see how your cute family is doing. I need to get back into blogging. I miss it.
This post made me all teary eyed. My little Buttercup starts kindergarten next year and there isn't an option for half day. The day is way too long. She is just so shy, I worry about how she'll do. I may be more of a mess than her, though. My oldest starts high school next year, too. Yikes!
Well, it was so good to "see" you again and see how big your kids are. I hope they have a great year!

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson