Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Emotional

This has been a heck of a week, as you can imagine.

Todd's father is still hanging in there.  He was so bad on Wednesday that no one thought he would make it through the night. It has been up and down.  An emotional roller coaster.  Preparing to say goodbye over and over again, making peace with it, then hanging on.  Waiting.

We don't know why.  Only God knows the plan.  I know suffering serves some purpose even though we can't see it.  Someone somewhere is learning something, growing from this experience.  But knowing that does not make it any easier right now.

And then there is the senseless.  Another tragedy.  Another random act of violence. Looking for motives and reasons when there is none.  Just evil.  Madness.

It makes me so angry.  So very angry that this is the world we are living in now.  My rage boils up and tears spill out.

I want to run away.  I want to throw away my tv, my computer, my phones, any connection to the outside world.  I want to take my children and move to the mountains and hide out.  Run. Away.  I don't want to be part of this kind of a world. I don't want it.  I don't want my children to see it.  So full of evil.

I have to remind myself that there are good people left on this earth. Sometimes I wonder.  But they are there.  And I have to pray that the good will rise up.  Smother out the bad.  I pray.

I pray.

It has been an emotional week.

I pray...








14 comments:

Hilary said...

The Fred Rogers quote that both you and Suldog posted is indicative of the good rising up and smothering evil. Sadly there's no sense to evil and suffering. It's not a perfect world. But it's what we have, and for many of us, t's pretty good most of the time.

I'm sorry your father in law is suffering. I wish that weren't so. Hugs to you.

bipolarmomlife.com said...

I love that quote by Mr. Rogers. I am struggling with the same feelings at the world we live in. I wish you comfort in this trying time for your family. Praying for you and for those affected by the senseless act of violence in Boston.

Lady Jennie said...

Hi! Visiting from Heather's for the first time.

I have always believed that good conquers evil, but it's true, at times it's hard to see it. All I know is, I want to be part of the battle for good. I don't want to be sitting in the tent while my weapons get rusty. I want to be running and yelling and charging and winning.

:) Courage in this sad and difficult time.

Charmaine said...

:( *sigh* sorry things are so bad right now...i agree it's a world gone quite mad when one weighs up evil against good...and yet somehow good prevails...against all the odds hey :) we are SO much stronger than we think...things will get better...time heals...i am thinking of you all...stay strong C

Bijoux said...

For every sick, depraved person, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of good, selfless people working behind the scenes to restore peace. Thanks to Mr. Rogers for reminding us of this.

Dawn said...

Hugs to you Kat. This is a tough time right now. I've been thinking about you often, praying for your family, and for your strength. Thank you for the kind words that you left on my blog. You are stronger than you can imagine. I know that, because I've been feeling it myself lately, through my own troubles, and because I know we share the same source of strength, our faith in God.

Tabor said...

As so many have said in so many ways regarding this tragedy in Boston...there are far more of the good people than the evil people and the good will win.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Sometimes the world does seem mighty black. Thank goodness it's not ALWAYS that way.
I will pray for your peace, Kat.

Jeni said...

Kat - I can empathize completely with where you are right now concerning your Father-in-law -a terrible time in the lives of your entire family. Hard as it is to say goodbye, it's equally as difficult to watch someone suffer too, if not perhaps, even more difficult to do the latter. And your sentiments about this latest senseless crime, this tragedy in Boston, you could well have been reading my mind about that too as your words there echoed the feelings in my heart and mind. Even here in this smallish community where I live and the extended area around here, we have had two very senseless events here in the past month -just a week apart -as in one, a man shot his 2-year-old son then shot, but didn't kill his wife and finally, turned the gun on himself. That, plus a week later, a retired state trooper shot and killed his wife, then himself, in a grocery store in the small town about 12 miles from where I live. He was up on charges for having assaulted his wife back in January and a week prior to this, she had finally filed for divorce. Peace does ofen seem extremely difficult to come by no matter where we live -big city, small city, little village, tiny towns or farm land -so many things run parallel and so many questions as to why it must be this way too.
And so, I will pray for your family for the peace that does pass all understanding, for those affected by the bombing and an inclusive prayer to for anyone being affected in any way by violence, hatred and sorrow touching their lives.

lime said...

oh kat, i am so sorry for this sort of holding pattern for your family. it must be terribly draining. hugs, love, prayers.

and yes, this world gets so sad sometimes. we send our prayers to the people of boston as well.

Verna Lantz said...

Oh, and I pray! Pray for you, pray for this country, pray for this weary world. Hang on, dear friend. He is coming soon.

Elaine Alguire said...

It has been a hard week for sure... I am so sorry about your FIL. I will pray for your family and him.

Much love...

imbeingheldhostage said...

It has been an emotional couple of years. When I start getting discouraged and want to run away (exactly like you're feeling), that quote helps me to change my perspective. I love that!
There's another, by Gandhi "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

I am so very sorry for the loss of your FIL. You're in my prayers.

Riahli said...

I've been feeling the same way as you. I just want to run away and hide my children from it all. But I must remember that throughout history good eventually wins against evil, and even though we are in the middle of sadness, there is still goodness, if we seek it out. I've decided to stop asking why, there is no reasoning in a sick world. Instead I want to raise my children to be strong in their faith and ready to try and make some changes, big or small. And to remember to always look to the good no matter what.

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it... always." - Mahatma Gandhi

And here is another one that helps me through when I feel anger and hatred bubbling up.

"Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in doing so thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:19-21

OVER COME EVIL WITH GOOD. So, so, hard to do!

Quite the combination of quotes, huh... It's my eclectic personality shining through. ;)

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson