Monday, November 22, 2010

Life

I have so many posts running around in my head all screaming at me, but they won't settle down and let me see them properly. 

I want to tell you how smoothly everything is going this past week even though Todd is gone.  I want to tell you how busy and crazy I've been running around from one thing to the next nonstop.  I want to tell you that it finally all caught up with me on Friday when the kids and I were at Grace's doctors appointment and I got a big, old migraine.  The boys were so fabulous and sweet that when we got home I surprised them with new camouflage jammies and freshly washed flannel snowman sheets on their beds, even though my brains were oozing out of my head. 

I really wanted to tell you about delivering the Thanksgiving food boxes to some people in need on Saturday.  It was such a wonderful experience I know it is something we will do as a family over and over again throughout the years.  The boys were so kind and sweet I was just so proud to be their mama.

Then there was The Festival of the Trees.  Grace was so excited to see all the twinkling lights and hear the Christmas music she just danced up and down the rows of Christmas trees laughing and clapping.  Her brothers were so thrilled with her excitement that they didn't know whether to watch her or the festivities.

It seems Christmas decorations are going up all around the neighborhood.  Down the street there are twinkling white lights and wreaths decorating the houses.  The neighbors behind us are putting up their Christmas tree today.  As I let the dog out I watched the lights being carefully strung on, row by row.  The air is taking on a feeling of Christmas.  And yet just this morning I rushed out to buy all my goodies for our Thanksgiving feasts.  My head is dancing with turkey timers and special cranberry sauces to be made and mom's stuffing to master.  Everyone else seems to be on fast forward to Christmas and here I am desperately trying to slow the swift current of time. 

My mom is going to be needing heart surgery to replace a valve that has been damaged by her cancer.  It is the same valve replacement surgery that my 9 year old sister died from 40 years ago.  And though I know medicine has changed dramatically in 40 years, I am still very nervous.  It is heart surgery, after all. 

Five years ago when my mom was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and given a few months to live I begged God for just another 5 years.  Five.  A good five years and I would be grateful, I said.  GAH!  Why hadn't I asked for more?  Now here I am crawling back to God on my hands and knees asking him for another 5 (or 15) years.  Please God, don't let this be her last Thanksgiving. 

My mind is filled with things I want to tell you about my mom, why she is so wonderful, but I just can't get them out.  All I keep thinking is, she's my best friend.  I'm not ready. 

Yes, there are so many different things I could write about.  Tell you about.  But my mind only keeps wandering back to the one that truly matters.  If you have a moment sometime in your busy day could you please spare a whisper of prayer for my mom? Thanks.

23 comments:

My Life With Boys said...

I have missed you but I am not one to say anything since I too have a hard time getting around to blogging. Life just happens. I will be praying for your mom and her upcoming surgery. Any surgery (no matter how minor...or major) is nerve wrecking on the family.

Emily said...

Oh no...praying for your mom. And you!

Mel said...

Whispering now...

Hilary said...

My very best thoughts and vibes to your Mom. Hugs to you, Kat.

Cassie said...

Of course I will pray, for her and for you. I hope it all goes well.

Scrappy said...

I love that the boys couldn't decide whether to look at Grace or the Christmas lights. I know my boys would be the same.
I love the tradition of delivering Thanksgiving boxes! I need to find something like that for my family to do.
I will praying for your mom, and for you and your family to find comfort during this stressful time.

Riahli said...

Lately I always have great blog posts rolling around in my head but when I finally get a moment to sit down and type I can't complete a thought...frustrating.

I've sent up a prayer for your mom and I hope that your family get togethers are a beautiful {and relaxing...after the 10K...and all the cooking} time for you all.

MamaB said...

Saying a prayer now...I know how you feel. I would have given anything to have had my Dad just a little longer. I wish you a very thankful and wonderful Thanksgiving!!

Tonya said...

I couldn't image losing my mom either. I will say a prayer. I'm getting the rest of our food for Thanksgiving tomorrow!

Maryeliz said...

Saying a prayer for your wonderful mom.
And also that we all might continue to relish this beautiful (but crazy rushed) season!

Mom24 said...

I'm definitely praying. I thought about you all day yesterday, wondering how things were going, hoping it was all smooth. When does that happen? Holding you in my prayers and hoping all goes well with your mom.

Jeni said...

Prayers going out -definitely the very best medicine ever, you know.

Kelly said...

I will definitely say a prayer for your mom. I hope the surgery goes smoothly.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Will pray for your mom--and serenity in the rest of your holiday with your family.

Allison said...

Hang in there....I WILL whisper a prayer to God for her.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving with those adorable kids.

Lisa said...

Prayers to you & your Mom. Medicine is SO much better ~ it will all be fine, but prayers sure don't hurt!

tweetey30 said...

kat i had a horrible experience like this last week. We thought my mom had a stroke. she woke up but couldnt move or talk.. my dad had to call an ambulance.. so I know what you are talking about sort of.. i am not ready to lose my mom either. thankfully it was just her meds..She is diabetic and one of her new meds caused a reaction. So happy thanksgiving and hope you have a wonderful holiday and your mom makes it through ok..

Dawn said...

I will definitely say a prayer for your mom. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Just write what and when you can Kat. (I just discovered that I have 63 drafts in my folder). So glad things are going well for you. I hope you and your sweet family have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Debbie in CA : ) said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your sweet, sweet family. I will keep your mom (and you, dear one) in my prayers. I hope you can pause, breathe, and enJOY all the activity swirling around you at this special time. You are SO busy, but I can hear the giggle and glee in your words.

And now I am off to simmer and bake and steam and smile. I love Thanksgiving!

God bless you!

Karen Deborah said...

Oh darling yes I will. It's funny I asked god for a season of health when I was very sick in my thirties. Now it seems my season of health is over and I have thought the exact same thing; why didn't I ask for more?

She is tough to have survived cancer. The trick with this is that your sister died from it, that's a scary emotional reaction to try and shake off. Maybe you can't. But like someone told me recently, don't hang on, let go and fall right into the arms of God and let Him hold you.
I know you an how much you love everyone in your family and really and truly I will pray for you all. Maybe God has made me weak where I cant go and do and be busy so that I can sit at His feet and intercede for you. I will.
I could imagine all of you at all these events without pictures and that was fun too.

Lindsay said...

Praying for you and your mom - that's a heavy weight to bear. I too try to hang on to Thanksgiving, too - Christmas seems to come WAY too fast.....as in, the day of T-giving with all the ads in the paper! Yikes.

lime said...

oh....now i see. and i can understand why your mom's impending surgery would be especially peace-robbing.

heavenly father, grant kat and her family and her mom peace in this. grant the doctors skill and wisdom. make your presence real to them in their time of worry and help them remember that you are in control and nothing can touch them that hasn't first been sifted through your loving hands. in jesus name, amen.

Words To Live By

Be grateful for each new day.
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson