I have so many posts running around in my head all screaming at me, but they won't settle down and let me see them properly.
I want to tell you how smoothly everything is going this past week even though Todd is gone. I want to tell you how busy and crazy I've been running around from one thing to the next nonstop. I want to tell you that it finally all caught up with me on Friday when the kids and I were at Grace's doctors appointment and I got a big, old migraine. The boys were so fabulous and sweet that when we got home I surprised them with new camouflage jammies and freshly washed flannel snowman sheets on their beds, even though my brains were oozing out of my head.
I really wanted to tell you about delivering the Thanksgiving food boxes to some people in need on Saturday. It was such a wonderful experience I know it is something we will do as a family over and over again throughout the years. The boys were so kind and sweet I was just so proud to be their mama.
Then there was The Festival of the Trees. Grace was so excited to see all the twinkling lights and hear the Christmas music she just danced up and down the rows of Christmas trees laughing and clapping. Her brothers were so thrilled with her excitement that they didn't know whether to watch her or the festivities.
It seems Christmas decorations are going up all around the neighborhood. Down the street there are twinkling white lights and wreaths decorating the houses. The neighbors behind us are putting up their Christmas tree today. As I let the dog out I watched the lights being carefully strung on, row by row. The air is taking on a feeling of Christmas. And yet just this morning I rushed out to buy all my goodies for our Thanksgiving feasts. My head is dancing with turkey timers and special cranberry sauces to be made and mom's stuffing to master. Everyone else seems to be on fast forward to Christmas and here I am desperately trying to slow the swift current of time.
My mom is going to be needing heart surgery to replace a valve that has been damaged by her cancer. It is the same valve replacement surgery that my 9 year old sister died from 40 years ago. And though I know medicine has changed dramatically in 40 years, I am still very nervous. It is heart surgery, after all.
Five years ago when my mom was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and given a few months to live I begged God for just another 5 years. Five. A good five years and I would be grateful, I said. GAH! Why hadn't I asked for more? Now here I am crawling back to God on my hands and knees asking him for another 5 (or 15) years. Please God, don't let this be her last Thanksgiving.
My mind is filled with things I want to tell you about my mom, why she is so wonderful, but I just can't get them out. All I keep thinking is, she's my best friend. I'm not ready.
Yes, there are so many different things I could write about. Tell you about. But my mind only keeps wandering back to the one that truly matters. If you have a moment sometime in your busy day could you please spare a whisper of prayer for my mom? Thanks.