Oh why can't I be
The perfect version of me
Each day for my boys
The perfect version of me
Each day for my boys
My dear boys,
I'm trying. Really, I am. Each day I struggle to be the perfect mother to you. I try to be loving, understanding, kind, compassionate, patient, fun, happy, and present. Yet it seems that at the end of each day I look back and see I could have done better, done more.
If I were the perfect mother:
I would walk away to cool off when my temper flares, instead of hissing at you threw pursed lips.
I would see your temper tantrum for what it is instead of rolling my eyes and throwing my hands in the air.
I would hug your frustration away, instead of adding to it.
I would always maintain eye contact with you when you are telling me a story. I know how important and special that makes you feel.
I would realize that playing Hot Wheels with my boys should always trump doing the laundry. Before too long, the Hot Wheels will be put away, and my teenage boys will no longer want me in their circle of friends.
I would worry less about the mess, and realize that dusting and vacuumming can always be done later.
I would let you help with chores without worrying how much longer they take to get done. It is important for your self-esteem, and you are able to do more than I've realized.
You are growing too fast. Getting older by the second. Soon I will be missing your mess, your noise, your thunderous play. I must take advantage while I can. You are mine but a moment.
I'll keep striving, with God's help, to be the mother you deserve. I will pray to be loving, understanding, kind, compassionate, patient, fun, happy, present, and worthy of God's most precious gift. Never doubt my love for you. It is what pushes me to do better, and to be better for you.
I'm trying. Really, I am. Each day I struggle to be the perfect mother to you.
I love you,
Mumma
I'm trying. Really, I am. Each day I struggle to be the perfect mother to you. I try to be loving, understanding, kind, compassionate, patient, fun, happy, and present. Yet it seems that at the end of each day I look back and see I could have done better, done more.
If I were the perfect mother:
I would walk away to cool off when my temper flares, instead of hissing at you threw pursed lips.
I would see your temper tantrum for what it is instead of rolling my eyes and throwing my hands in the air.
I would hug your frustration away, instead of adding to it.
I would always maintain eye contact with you when you are telling me a story. I know how important and special that makes you feel.
I would realize that playing Hot Wheels with my boys should always trump doing the laundry. Before too long, the Hot Wheels will be put away, and my teenage boys will no longer want me in their circle of friends.
I would worry less about the mess, and realize that dusting and vacuumming can always be done later.
I would let you help with chores without worrying how much longer they take to get done. It is important for your self-esteem, and you are able to do more than I've realized.
You are growing too fast. Getting older by the second. Soon I will be missing your mess, your noise, your thunderous play. I must take advantage while I can. You are mine but a moment.
I'll keep striving, with God's help, to be the mother you deserve. I will pray to be loving, understanding, kind, compassionate, patient, fun, happy, present, and worthy of God's most precious gift. Never doubt my love for you. It is what pushes me to do better, and to be better for you.
I'm trying. Really, I am. Each day I struggle to be the perfect mother to you.
I love you,
Mumma
That's beautiful K. I think the boys will appreciate you with all your faults. And, I assure you we are all striving to do better. WE aren't perfect. The boys understand that, too. Trying is the important part of the story.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. I also wish to be the best mom I can be...but it sure can be challenging at times!
ReplyDeleteJust stumbled upon your blog. Will be stopping in on a regular basis as I have enjoyed the few posts I have read.
I also have 3 children - my eldest boy will be 4 on Monday, middle child, a boy, turn 3 yesterday and a baby girl who turned 10 months yesterday! I look forward to reading your family adventures!
Thanks for sharing!
Do you read my mind?
ReplyDeleteGreat ku! Happy Friday!
Perhaps you are my long lost identical twin. Perfect is the enemy of good, my friend. And you sound like a GREAT Mom to me! Beautiful ku!
ReplyDeleteAMEN Kathryn!
ReplyDeleteYou know, if I am more objective, the thing is...what I recall is the ONE time I lost my cool over a tantrum, or ran out of patience after the fifteenth battle over getting ready and leaving on time (that day).
What I don't recall, while reviewing my day are the other 23 thousand times I did walk away with my temper, or keep my patience, or deal creatively with a tantrum.
Every day I hope beyond hope to be the mom these kids deserve, and also to give myself credit when I am.
Great post. :)
Julie
Using My Words
I mine have a lot more to forgive than yours. Lovely post.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes
This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out.
What a touching letter to your boys!
ReplyDeleteSeriously... you read my mind. I was thinking the same things today. :) Nice post!
ReplyDeleteImagine if you were perfect, that is pretty hard for little boys to live up to- mistakes make us all human, thankfully. This is a very touching letter to your boys.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend.
What a beautiful letter! I too struggle with these same things and I think you are probably doing the best you can do! Take care and have a good weekend. Kellan
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written post. Isn't it always a challenge to live up to our ideal image of Mom. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing just fine... It is such a struggle. But maybe keeping the note wouldn't hurt either!
ReplyDeleteSusiej
No one ever tells you how hard it
ReplyDeleteis to be someones Mumma. You are
so lucky to be able to be with them
when they are young. They'll remember you being there. You're
right. The dust can wait, but time doesn't. Enjoy those cute hot wheels boys!
oh yes. I know this well. a good reminder, and beautifully done.
ReplyDeleteYour writing is lovely! You are doing a great job with your boys - and I'm sure they know how much you love them and how special they are to you!
ReplyDeleteHeidi
Hey Kathryn - hope you are having a good Saturday. Thanks for coming over and leaving the nice Birthday message for my Dad. See you soon. Kellan
ReplyDeleteDo you really feel this way? Because I so often feel I am the only one who does not walk away, does not enjoy the moments, does not have the patience I ought to have. I mean, I know I am not a terrible mother, but I so want to believe that the good outweighs the bad, and I just don't.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful letter... your boys (all 4) are blessed to have you in their lives.
ReplyDeletehave a great night!
-brittany
That was so well said. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a mother who didn't feel the same way at the end of the day. It's hard, but we try, and that's important, too.
ReplyDeleteI think the fact that you reflect about these things at all says a lot about you as a mother - and it's all good!
I'm sure all us moms can SO relate to this. Beautiful, heartfelt post.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written.
ReplyDeleteI think our children need - within limits - to see our anger, to know that their behaviour affects people.
Always is a pretty big word - if you ALWAYS leave the laundry for later, the children WILL start to smell eventually. ;)
ReplyDeleteSeeing your boys happy smiling faces tells me you are doing a great job. Always strive to be better, but don't forget to pat yourself on the back now and then. (Easier said than done sometimes, I know!)
ReplyDeleteWright
http://www.igottatheory.blogspot.com/
A very beautiful post. I think you're not alone in those feelings. We've all been there. The fact that you are even aware and willing to try again is a testament to your character.
ReplyDelete