Friday, January 30, 2009
Immediately after breakfast Joey lost his first tooth. He was so excited dancing around showing off his holey mouth. He proudly decorated an envelope to stick the tooth in and leave for the tooth fairy. All day long all we heard about was his tooth. And I was just as excited as he was. He kept telling me, "Mom, thanks for being so excited about my tooth!"
It is such a bittersweet moment watching a milestone like that. Another step closer to being a big boy, and another step away from my baby. I'll just have to keep reminding myself, as I always remind my boys, that no matter how big they get they will always be my babies.
Another first yesterday. I vomited while brushing my teeth. It was a completely bizarre experience. I'd always heard about women gagging while they brushed their teeth but it never had bothered me before. Not even a little. As I was getting ready for my doctor appointment I began brushing my teeth. I started gagging a little and it made me laugh. I thought that was as far as it would go. But I was wrong. I wasn't laughing anymore. Luckily I had been too nauseous to eat anything that morning so it really wasn't a big deal. I know, I know, TMI. But this is really a strange first for me, so I just had to share it. And, you're welcome.
On to a more positive first. We heard the baby's heartbeat yesterday at the doctor's office. The nurse found it right away, and it was a loud and strong 157. Such a glorious sound. I could have sat there listening to it all day. It makes everything so real. And now I'm counting down the days until my next checkup.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
They each had on three pairs of pants (including snow pants), two pairs of mittens, two pairs of socks, two long sleeved shirts, one sweater, two hats, and one scarf. Tommy and Ben stayed out for about 20 minutes both coming in twice to warm up. Joey stayed out for a little longer but was very agreeable when we told him it was time to come in.
They were met with hot chocolate and a roaring fire when all their layers were finally peeled off. And though it was only a few minutes of playing in the cold, they all slept great that night.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
By the time we got home it was past the boys' bedtime and yet they were starving from all the swimming. They gulped down some toast and fruit and were practically asleep before their heads hit their pillows. It was a wonderful night all around.
I had to drag them out of bed this morning in order to get to school on time, but they had incentive. Today is "crazy hair day" at school and I promised the boys I would spike their hair and dye it red. I had some left over Kool-Aid from this past summer that worked perfectly as the dye. I felt like I was a punk kid in high school (I loved dying my hair red, blue, or purple) all over again.
The boys were very pleased with their results. Joey had a red mohawk and Tommy had sharp, red spikes. They were so excited to go to school and show everyone. It was definitely worth the red dyed fingers I will most likely have for days.
And of course Ben didn't want to miss out on the fun so I teased his hair up a bit too. Though I did skip the red dye. I think that was a smart decision. I can just picture him running his fingers through his hair and then touching all my cream walls and tan carpeting.
Monday, January 26, 2009
I WILL NOT make the hubby try and keep up with all three boys in the water tonight so that I can hide indiscreetly beneath my sweatshirt and jeans on the observation deck.
I WILL NOT be so concerned with how I look that I forget to have fun and enjoy my boys' laughter, squeals, and shrieks of delight.
I WILL NOT look nervously around my peers to decide who is vomiting at the sight of my large, pale, pasty thighs.
I WILL NOT make my boys lounge up and down the lazy river for hours so that I can hide the majority of my body underwater.
I WILL NOT compare myself to all the other "hot" moms at the pool tonight.
I WILL NOT make fun of the hubby when he acts like a girl and complains that he feels fat in his suit too.
I WILL NOT be one of those women who is too concerned about what she looks like that she can't let go and have some fun.
I WILL NOT take the body that I do have for granted because I know in 20 years I will look back and wonder what the hell I was complaining about.
I WILL NOT forget that all the other moms are probably just as self conscious and therefore too busy to notice what I look like anyway.
I WILL NOT let my boys think for one second that it matters how I look in a swimsuit. Because it really doesn't.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Like the fact that one of Joey's bottom teeth has suddenly begun to wiggle. He is so excited that his finger is constantly attacking that poor tooth trying to loosen it even more. It is pretty cute. And kinda gross. Get your fingers out of your face, kid!
Or the fact that Ben gave up his nuks last week without so much of whimper. This, the boy who had to have FIVE nuks in his bed at a time. The boy who would sleep with one nuk in each hand, one in his mouth, and two at his head in case he lost one in the night. The boy who would scream for an hour in the car if we forgot his nuk and he just happened to want to fall asleep. Suddenly, just like that, he decided to be a big boy. After all my plotting the possible ways to get him to give up his nuks. After thinking about calling on nuk fairies or even cutting the nuks up, I simply asked him if he could sleep without his nuks and he nodded his head. I set him in his crib for his nap and he talked himself to sleep. That night he asked for his nuk once, and then went to sleep without a peep when I told him they were gone. I am so stunned and so happy. And, a little sad.
Then there is Tommy who just picks up a pen and decides to write his name perfectly. Not only is he only three years old, but I haven't even shown him HOW to write his name yet. I know he sees his nametags at school all the time but they haven't really worked much on writing the letters yet. I tell ya, these boys are growing up OVERNIGHT. My little goldensbear. Getting sticker after sticker at school for hugging his classmate who was crying. For picking up a mess that someone else made. For running over to help a classmate who fell. Ah, my Tommy.
And Joey. He decided not to eat his special donut hole snack at school, and instead brought it home for me hoping it would help my sick tummy. He knows his mommy usually likes donuts. Smart boy. I was so touched. I asked him if he was sure he didn't want to eat it himself but he said, "Well, mom, I did have two bites but all of that sugar was starting to make me crazy." hehe
And it is not just me he tries to take care of. While I was trying to find a cart to stick Ben in as we were shopping in a department store Joey and Tommy were hanging behind me a bit. Suddenly I heard Joey yelling. "What did you just say to my brotter? What did you say? Don't you be mean to my brotter! Tommy, what did he just say to you?" I turned around to find Joey in some (bigger) kid's face. I called Joey over to me to find out that the boy (who was standing right next to his parents, thankyouverymuch) had said something mean to Tommy and was laughing at him. I looked over and the parents were even laughing (nice) so I did believe Joey's story. I tried to calm Joey down and let him know that it was great that he was protecting his brother but that he needs to maintain his temper. That it is not okay to yell at someone. That you must always be the one to act appropriately and take the high road. But I'm not afraid to admit to you all that my heart was really smiling as I lectured. I can't help but be really proud of that brotherly bond.
Yes. There is actually plenty to report. And each story could be a post of it's own. But honestly, all I can think to write about is this new life with nausea. It is craziness, I tell you. I would write more posts, but all they would be about is nausea. Seriously. That would get old very quickly.
I'm just not used to this. My last pregnancies were not like this. I had it very easy. There were certain foods that I couldn't eat, but I was never nauseous enough to think I was going to throw up, much less actually throw up! I have been shocked. I actually lost about 4 or 5 pounds now. I think I have every pregnancy symptom in the book. I am exhausted every second of the day, and I can't even drink coffee anymore. It tastes like metal to me. And tea doesn't taste much better. I have so much gas that no one is allowed to light a match around me. I'd probably blow up the house. Preparing food has become a herculean task with this nausea. I am an emotional freak. Even more so than usual. I spent an hour crying when I read the beginning part of New Moon and then I was depressed for the rest of the day. Even though I am so tired I have trouble sleeping at night. I toss and toss and toss and when I finally fall asleep I wake up frequently.
You know? This is exactly what I get. At my last doctor appointment I told my doctor that I was a little nervous that I didn't have any symptoms at all. I felt great, I'd told him. I should have known better. I should have kept my big trap shut! Ha!
And still, I love being pregnant. I love carrying around this little secret with me. This constant buddy. Thinking about this little person already having a personality and a soul is just such a miracle. So when Todd tires of seeing me feel so crappy day after day and tells me again how this is our last baby, it is no comfort to me at all. In fact, it makes me want to bawl. But then again, what doesn't?
And on a side note, does anyone know when you might start feeling movement if you are having twins? I mean, I know I have a ton of gas and everything but every once in a while I could SWEAR I feel movement. It doesn't feel like gas bubbles it feels like gentle tapping. I never felt movement with my boys until I was 20 weeks or later. I know it is way too early (11 weeks) and I'm completely crazy. But I'm just curious if you could feel something this early with twins. Just wondering. Plus, I like to freak Todd out. ;)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Most of the morning I let Tommy and Ben run wild while I lie on the couch on the verge of vomit, and finally I mustered up the strength to get the boys hats, mittens, and jackets on and head out into the cold to run our errands.
Grocery shopping was not fun. All the smells and the bright lights were super painful. I hid under my hat and hoped the produce man would not be too chatty today. Surprisingly, we finished our shopping in just a half an hour, regardless of my very slow stride. I realize now that I forgot a few things, but we survived and that was all that mattered.
After picking up Joe I quickly fed the boys lunch, let them play for a little while, and then shipped them off to bed. The rest of my afternoon was spent back on the couch.
But after my guilty feelings over not making enough home cooked meals over the last couple of weeks (due to my super nausea) got the better of me I pealed myself off the couch and began preparing dinner.
And you know what I did? I smushed together raw ground beef, onions, ketsup, and rice WITH MY BARE HANDS. Something I never enjoyed doing even when I wasn't plagued with nausea. Every few seconds I would turn my head to the side, bury my nose in my shoulder, and breath deeply. I rolled the concoction together into balls and threw them in a roasting pan with a can of diced tomatoes on top. And I made it! I made it through! Whew! I am awesome! I am amazing!
And that is why I deserve an award.
Or maybe not. Because after thinking about it for a minute now I'm sure that is something every mommy in the world has done before. This job is not for the faint of heart. And the kids are hungry regardless of how mommy feels. The show must go on, right? Fine. I'm not that amazing.
Plus, I really am getting an award when this new little munchkin joins our crazy tribe. And truth be told, no matter how sick I get I would do it again in a heartbeat.
So what was I making? A recipe of my mom's that I actually would eat as a picky kid. And my boys love it simply because of the name. So here is my recipe for my mother's porcupine (named because of the way the rice sticks out after cooking) balls:
1lb ground beef
1/2 cup uncooked rice
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 Tbsps chili sauce or ketsup
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1/2 tsps garlic salt
1 cup canned diced tomatoes
Mix uncooked rice, meat, onion, ketsup (or chili sauce), salt, and garlic salt. Shape into 12 balls. Place in casserole dish and cover with tomatoes. Back 60-80 minutes at 350 degrees. For the last 10 minutes uncover and let balls get crispy on the outside.
I usually serve with roasted potatoes or even french fries.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
13- The Post Holiday Crash. After the rush of the holidays was over my whole family hit a wall. We all just kind of lied around staring off into space. A mix of exhaustion and depression. It all just went too fast. We all crashed. Big time.
12- The Post Holiday Vomit. Included in that crash was a lot of vomit. On the first day that Tommy did not vomit, Joey did. I was busy following my boys around with a big bucket held under their faces. That was fun.
11- Cuddly Family Time. For the past two weeks Todd had most of the days off of work. We spent much of the time doing fun family stuff and snuggling on the couch. The boys have been so snuggly with me that I couldn't bear to pull myself away from them.
10- Full-Swing Symptoms. Remember when I said I was feeling pretty good as far as this pregnancy goes? Yeah. Well. That is over. The nausea is fairly constant, although I haven't thrown up yet. I just feel really icky all the time. It is hard to think of foods that don't make me want to puke.
9- Unbelievable Exhaustion. When I'm not feeling nauseous I feel like I'm going to pass out. I am so tired all the time. Every spare moment I have I am lying on the couch trying to catch some zzz's.
8- Basement Aversion. Because I either have nausea or exhaustion every moment of the day it is really difficult to motivate myself to go down to the cold basement and sit on the computer for longer than 2 minutes. It is dark and cold and yucky down here. I don't like it.
7- Smelly Smells. The one thing that is different about this pregnancy than my other pregnancies is my sense of smell. I can smell EVERYTHING and it doesn't smell good. I can smell the cinnamon (which makes me sick) in a cookie that someone is eating in the next room. I can smell the sausage on Todd's breath from the sandwich he had two days ago. I open the fridge and I can smell the celery that may or may not be going bad. Ugh. My mom came over and I could smell her Vaseline Intensive Care lotion she had put on her hands hours ago even though she was wearing gloves. And the basement smells like dust. It kinda makes me sick. Another reason I am avoiding the basement. Where the computer is.
6- Schedule? What Schedule? After lolling around most mornings during the holidays and doing whatever we wanted during the day I have had a hard time getting back into the boys' school schedule. Getting them fed, dressed, and out the door in time for school has been nuts. Add to that the grocery shopping, visiting my dad, and then picking them both up on time and I am nuts. I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. How did I do this before? It is taking me a while to remember how it all works.
5- Twilight Obsession. The hubby bought me the Twilight Series for Christmas and I am reading in my spare time. Although I am reading Twilight again first (cuz Todd went with hardcover and all the New Moon hardcovers were gone so I am waiting for the bookstore to get that copy in for me) I can't believe how much I either missed or don't remember about reading it the first time. So when I do have an ounce of energy I'm reading cuz I can do that upstairs on the couch where it is warm and doesn't smell of dust.
4- Camera Lust. Todd also got me a Nikon D60 for Christmas. I loves it. It is so wonderful. I can take pictures without a flash and the pictures are not all blurry! I still have so much to learn about it so when I'm not nauseous, exhausted, sleeping, or reading, I am fiddling around with my camera.
3- Children. Man these kids suck up a lot of my time. Why did no one ever tell me how time consuming children were? Sheesh! ;)
2- Tired. Did I mention I'm always exhausted?
1- Nausea. Did I mention I'm always nauseous? Ugh.
So there you have it. The thirteen reasons for my absence. I know I have been an awful bloggy friend. Last I checked I have over 1000 posts to read. I'm so sorry. I will get around to reading your posts again (maybe not the thousand you already wrote, though). Really I will. I miss you all (and thank you for checking on me too!). I just feel so icky and any energy I can muster is being used to take care of my wild and crazy children. Ridiculous, isn't it?
Words To Live By
A new day that you have never lived before.
Twenty-four new, fresh, unexplored hours to use usefully and profitably.
We can squander, neglect, or use them.
Life will be richer or poorer by the way we use today.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson